Sometimes we meet people who are like a tank on barricades. They defend their position with foam at the mouth. Of course, plus to someone who has a personal opinion: this indicates intellectual development, education. But listening to what others are saying will not be redundant. Indeed, true is born in discussion. And only by analyzing and comparing the facts can you come to the only right decision.
Essence
Psychologists will make an unmistakable conclusion: in the above individuals it is possible to diagnose duckling syndrome. "What it is?" - you ask. Explain this feature of the human psyche can be an example of a normal life situation. People with a similar disorder in each area identify the leading, in their opinion, product, service, opinion, judgment, conclusion, and so on. Usually this is the object that they first encountered in this area.
Consider the situation when a girl, having become a wife and mistress of the house, went to the store for dishes for her love nest. Without a doubt, she bought ceramic cups and plates, because these were from her mother or grandmother. She ate for the first time in her life from similar dishes, so she does not even perceive the possibility of acquiring something else. Firstly, she basically does not want to do this. Secondly, a woman is one hundred percent sure that the choice of ceramics is the only right and undeniable one. In a word, duckling syndrome is a psychological phenomenon when a person, having learned a new one, can fixate on it until the end of his life.
Why duckling?
To be extremely honest, the syndrome should be called goose. In honor of ducklings, it is called because of an error in the translation from German into English. By the way, it is not surprising that Germany became the birthplace of this disorder: only pure Aryans are so principled, accurate, steady, pedantic and conservative. And this common trait is traced among all representatives of this race.
The name of the disorder comes from an interesting zoological phenomenon. The duckling syndrome in the natural environment was discovered by the Australian scientist Conrad Lorenz, who wrote more than one book on ethology - a science that studies the behavior of animals. So, he discovered the amazing property of newborn goslings: they perceive as mother any who first caught their eye after birth. That is, hatching from an egg and seeing a moving object, whether it be an ostrich, a cow or a windup toy, they implicitly begin to repeat its behavior and actions. For this reason, geese are deeply attached to people, dogs, cats or other domestic animals.
Causes of occurrence
Duckling syndrome ... what is it? Psychologists say that the aforementioned phenomenon cannot be called a disease. They are inclined to the fact that, rather, this is one of the types of wrong thinking, when the settings of the subconscious mind go astray and dictate the individual a particular line of behavior. There may be several causes. And the main thing is conservative education. Often children who have grown up in families with strict rules try to rebel against established traditions. Having left their parents' house, they radically change their hated life and try to taste to the maximum all the joys of existence.
But there are children with a weak psyche: parents have crushed their personal desires so much that they just don’t know what they want and how to do it themselves. Therefore, unconsciously duplicate the actions of the mother and father. “Did they always have breakfast with oatmeal?” Oh yes, nothing better can be thought of for a morning meal. Yogurt, toast with tea? No, no, what are you? ” - This is how people who have earned duckling syndrome think about. Also, the causes of its occurrence may be experienced stress, psychological trauma or nervous shock. In any case, this disorder is not congenital, but always acquired.
How to get rid?
If you carefully work on yourself, you can cope with the syndrome. The second half can become an incentive, loving you with all my heart, but not planning to live solely by your rules. Such a relationship smacks of tyranny. And surrounding friends can turn away if you constantly dictate your opinion, considering only it is correct and appropriate. Therefore, in order not to pass up old age in solitude, analyze: why do you think so and not otherwise? Read articles on this topic, find out the conclusions of professionals, ask what your close people think about this. Only by comparing existing versions, you can choose the best option for yourself.
People with duckling syndrome are sometimes called "victims of advertising." And indeed it is. When they see a video praising the clothes of a certain brand, they are able to fixate on the manufacturer, while forgetting about the existence of its competitors. We all want to try what they show on TV, but there are other products. Do not be a programmed robot. Overpower yourself and try all the analogues: only then you can stop at the one you liked more. But even using your favorite product, psychologists still advise changing it from time to time. For a change.
If the duckling is ugly
These two phenomena are often confused, although they are fundamentally different from each other. The ugly duckling syndrome is the alienation of an individual from society: family, friends, acquaintances. Developing usually in deep childhood, he makes the baby a stranger, a black sheep. The reasons can be very different: unusual appearance, extraordinary thinking, lack of material wealth. Often minors brought up in dysfunctional families turn into ugly ducklings . In addition, the constant employment of parents or their indifference, inability to find an approach to the heir, unwillingness to talk heart to heart and thereby rid of complexes, make the child a real outcast.
Such children are actually left to their own devices. Well, if you become an adult, a person will be able to perceive their shortcomings as a manifestation of their own personality. And if not? In this case, he will continue to eke out a lonely existence. Persons who are excluded from society often cannot do without the support of a psychotherapist.
Parent Tips
One Eastern sage said: "I was indignant that I did not have shoes until I met a man without legs." This phrase should be a postulate for each individual. Usually children consider themselves not like everyone because of their appearance. If this is a minor flaw that can be corrected, for example, excessive completeness, tell the baby that you will help him correct the deficiency. Go on a diet and go in for sports: in any case, do not leave the child alone with the problem, do everything in your power to solve it.
Duckling syndrome, an ugly and abandoned by everyone, can occur when the baby was born disabled or lags behind in development. Peers are cruel and often tease him, so it is better to record the offspring in a specialized school. Support him, say that he is for you, despite the problem, the best and most beloved. Demonstrate this with actions and behavior. Emphasize the merits of the child: perhaps he draws or sings beautifully. Develop these skills, improve talent. Realizing that he has a certain gift, the baby will cease to be closed, will find friends and will be able to socialize independently.
Total
We all remember the tale of the great Andersen about the duckling rejected by society. But we forget that it ended with a happy end: a feathered, awkward creature turned into a beautiful swan. Focus your attention on this particular episode of the story. But remember: for such a transformation to occur with you, you must show at least minimal effort.
Duckling syndrome in people, ugly or simple, arises from a lack of attention. A person who is deprived of the support of a close circle of people often imposes non-existent complexes and
psychological problems on himself
. If you notice that you are also amenable to negative effects, find yourself a fascinating activity. A new hobby will bring you back to life, take your leisure time: there will be practically no time for sad thoughts and mental suffering. If you can’t overcome the problem yourself, seek specialized help. An experienced doctor will give practical advice and save you from a
mental disorder, which is easy enough to say goodbye to.