Surely many are familiar with the feeling of inner emptiness, resentment, mental pain that appears after betrayal. How to survive this unpleasant period in life? What is meanness? How to deal with the desire to avenge the offender? The science of the soul and human relationships helps to figure this out.
Meanness - a manifestation of a strong character or one's own weakness?
Not a single person is born a scoundrel, he becomes one because of many factors: moral education, the influence of the people around him, as well as collisions with betrayal. Being offended, betrayed by someone from the inner circle, he himself becomes a scoundrel and a traitor.
What is meanness? This is, to a greater extent, the manifestation of a person's weakness , lack of certain moral standards. In the understanding of the scoundrel, actions that bring others pain and negative emotions are something acceptable, mundane. However, when convicted of treason, fraud or other negative act, such people usually deny everything. Because meanness in psychology is akin to schizophrenia, like sick people, scoundrels do not accept normal, healthy interactions with society.
Most scoundrels are weak people who use meanness as a defense and a tool to help them assert themselves through the suffering of other members of society. They betray, without feeling remorse, pull out from a person everything that they need to achieve their goals, satisfy their own needs.
Deciphering the concept
What is meanness? The definition of a concept in psychology and sociology looks like this: it is a destructive effect on the common interests and goals of people, aimed at harming a particular person. In addition to preferences and goals, the victim and the scoundrel can share tools, family, home, work, values, and much more. Language is also common, and words and phrases pronounced to humiliate another's dignity are considered meanness.
For whom is the greatest danger
Exposure is especially dangerous for people with low self-esteem, suffering from frequent bouts of depression. This is because they are most prone to the negative effects of betrayal and meanness, such as suicide.
What is meanness and betrayal?
These concepts have a precise definition - these are actions of one person aimed at demeaning the self-esteem of another. Meanness is a deliberate act when, as a betrayal, it can be a random, one-time action, which the traitor himself will later regret.
Potential traitors
People whom we are accustomed to trust - beloved, relatives, colleagues and friends, can “stick a knife in the back” at the most unpredictable moment. Often this situation arises due to fleeting desires or an emotional impulse. Many, after a perfect deed, try to regain their former confidence, but to do this is not so simple. According to statistics, the majority of victims, although they forgive their offenders, still, deep down, they continue to hold a grudge.
What is meanness? This is, first of all, an act that destroys harmonious relations, destroys something in common, that which unites the victim and the scoundrel. Anyone can make this negative action, it is enough to know certain painful points of a person, his preferences. Situations from life help to understand in more detail what vileness is.
Examples:
- One of the partners substitutes his partner, pursuing selfish goals - taking his post. He knows where the victim keeps important papers, what route he gets to work. The scoundrel does everything so that he doesn’t have time for a certain time in the office, and gives his work as his own. As a result, a person loses a good position, falls in spirit and considers himself a nonentity.
- After 10 years of marriage, the man began to lose interest in his wife. Gradually, his attention completely shifted to another woman - a colleague (secretary, old acquaintance). And at one point, yielding to temptation, he commits an act of treason. His wife learns about this from the lips of a rival, and in her life, everything turns upside down. Confidence in the still beloved man disappears, and she begins to suffer, to suffer.
What you should not do, becoming a victim of a vile act
Having been adversely affected, hasty decisions should not be made. In addition, it is not necessary:
- Build a plan of revenge. Revenge is no less destructive for the inner world of man than the consequences of betrayal.
- Arrange a tantrum. Excessive emotionality takes a large amount of energy, and it takes longer to recover.
- Try to find out the relationship with the offender. In a fit of anger and resentment, a person cannot objectively assess the situation, which only exacerbates his situation.
What is meanness? This is the direct impact of the offender on the victim. The trust shown to the wrong person, communication with him - all this weakens the vigilance of the victim. Do not be naive, hoping that the scoundrel will change, and this will not happen again. Having done an unpleasant act once, and having benefited from it, he will not miss the opportunity to use your trust again.
How to deal with resentment, anger and the desire to take revenge? Psychologists advice
Experts agree on one thing: if you become a victim of betrayal, a vile act, then the first thing to do is calm down. What happened in your life is not necessarily a deliberate betrayal. It may be just the mistake of a person who loves you.
Calmness, self-discipline will help to overcome the crisis after a vile act. To fully understand the problem, you need:
- Review the situation in which you and your abuser find themselves. You need to be 100% sure that he is really a cruel scoundrel, and not a narrow-minded person. A cruel one hurts people deliberately, and enjoys it, and the near-minded could simply make a mistake, get off the right path.
- Try to forgive. Yes, it’s just to forgive the offender, and not to grudge. Resentment, hiding in the depths of one’s soul, carries only negative, and it seems that a weightless soul is heavier than a pile of stones.
- Learn how to switch, change the minus to plus. This is an effective method that helps to recover quickly from betrayal. No matter how strong a negative blow may be, one needs to know that both pain and mental suffering are an internal problem, not an external one, and in time everything will pass. Think about the essentials. For example, will you suffer so if your wife (husband) leaves you, and after a couple of days you will find out that you became the owner of a solid inheritance. So what will take all your attention?
Meanness is not just a negative impact used by one person. Today, the vileness for many has become a life credo, so be careful in communicating with new friends.