Correction of children's fears. Features of children's fears

Children's fears are an inseparable component of all stages of growing up a child with a characteristic reflection of his current problems and experiences. Every child has at least one hidden anxiety in his soul, which is difficult for him to share. To help solve the problem on your own and gain invaluable experience in overcoming life's obstacles is the point in correcting children's fears.

Fears of the child: what are

Children's fears in preschool age is not always the result of a child’s own experience or a conclusion based on his personal negative experience. Children are more prone to social anxieties than most adults, because they do not understand the meaning of many things that happen and are ready to accept the version of a more experienced authority for truth.

The classification of children's fears has a conditional etiological division into three groups:

• based on experience - arise as a result of stressful episodes, the possibility of repeating which causes the child a distinct sense of fear (fell off the couch and hit - fear of heights). These types of childhood fear take on an obsessive form, which with age can turn into a phobia;
• sci-fi - include fears of the darkness in which monsters can hide; fear of cabinets, basements (for a similar reason). Often delusional fantasies reach the seeming absurdity - the child begins to be afraid of household items, toys;
• inspired from the outside - these are all the horrors that adults carry in themselves and involuntarily or express them specifically in the presence of a child, or directly to him. Here: fear of cars on the road, strangers, fear of disobeying, otherwise all sorts of trouble will follow (the thief will steal, the monster will eat).

It should be understood that even the stupidest point of view of an adult, the reason that a small child is afraid to be alone or asks not to show him some thing, should not be ignored or ridiculed.

Freud Classification

Studying such an aspect as children's fears, Freud deduced a formula for the correspondence of a child's age with periods of cognition of his body and those formed on the basis of these two factors - complexes and anxieties.

According to Freud’s theory, the development of a child’s personality occurs according to the following algorithm:

• Oral stage (up to 1.5 years) - the child is focused on the sensations that he receives through the mouth. Here: the formation of sucking and swallowing reflexes, new taste nuances of complementary foods, the desire to tighten a toy in your mouth and taste it. The impossibility of a quiet meal, the periodically bad mood of the mother during feeding, unpleasant taste sensations or injuries of the oral cavity can reward the child with a mass of complexes and unconscious anxieties.
• Anal stage (1.5-3.5 years) - the child learns a new science to meet natural needs while sitting on a pot and discovers his ability to control the muscles of the body. It is necessary, starting from this period, to allow the baby to show independence and to defend himself as a person. Permanent prohibitions and restrictions will serve the development of a man who lives with eternal fears and weak-willed.
• Phallic stage (3.5-6.0 years) - the child is aware of his belonging to a certain sex and spends a lot of time studying his genitals. Beating hands, suggesting to the child that he is doing wrong, that he is “wrong,” leads to a deep subconscious bookmark of the inferiority complex and fears associated with the depreciation of the person.

In order not to cause irreparable psychological disorders, it is necessary to allow the child to go through the path of self-knowledge and be sure to answer all his questions regarding the structure and functions of his body.

Fear and age

In recent decades, the boundary of the child's biological maturation has shifted slightly towards early maturation, so the period of social fears, which previously falls on 11-12 years of age, now begins at primary school age - about 9-10 years. What are the causes, types and characteristics of the manifestation of children's fears determine both sides of this invisible border?

Biological or early fears of the baby and preschooler include 6 periods of severity, manifested in different children to varying degrees:

• 0-6 months - pops, loud noises, absence of mom;
• 7-12 months - the process of changing clothes, strangers, unusual household items and other people's premises;
• 1-2 years - lack of adults, medical staff, terrible dreams;
• 2-5 years - darkness, small rooms, large water (sea, river);
• 5-7 years - fear of death, awareness of the transience of life;
• 7-9 years - pain, height, loneliness, accidents, natural disasters.

Features of children's fears in pre-adolescence and adolescence are closely related to the realization of personality in society. Students are afraid of the mocking attitude of others, to be alone or to seem not beautiful enough. Often, a sense of anxiety prompts a teenager to seek protection in “childish” or too aggressive behavior.

Causes of Anxiety

Psychoanalysis of childhood fears showed that almost all episodes of anxiety formation occur in a child with the direct participation of family members and his usual environment. It happens that the baby is already born emotionally aggravated, but again - if the mother during pregnancy was much worried or sick.

The natural cause of childhood fear as a veiled instinct for self-preservation will be an unfavorable living environment. This may be the alcoholism of one of the parents, frequent scandals, the departure of the father or mother from the family. The child subconsciously adopts the tactics of the hidden animal and feels relatively safe only during periods of calm.

A similar behavior will be answered by a preschooler and excessive "pedagogical" severity in relation to him, but here, in addition to the fear of physical reprisal, the fear of not coping with the assigned tasks will be added. All together, this, as a rule, translates into a complex of a total loser and an opportunist.

The opposite situation is a destabilizing guardianship, which uses the suggestion that the world around is hostile and dangerous as the main pedagogical device. It is clear that the child will be afraid of everything that does not lie in the "circle of security" circled around him, and this childhood fear will remain with him as a fear of everything new (neophobia).

A psychological trauma of any nature is always a complex of attendant fears, whether it be the death of a pet or a terrible bat flying into a baby’s bedroom. You don’t have to wait until the child’s impression of the episode develops into an obsessive anxiety - you need to “tell” the situation if the child is over three years old and distract the baby in fun games, if the meaning of the reassuring words is not yet clear to him.

Observational diagnosis of childhood fears

There is such a definition of signs of timidity as “beacons of fear,” reliably indicating that the child is gripped by anxiety, which cannot be explained. The observation of adults who are constantly next to the child will definitely distinguish these “beacons” from among other emotional manifestations:

• the frozen, "frozen" gaze of the child, fixed on some object;
• the habit of curling up while sitting, while playing a game or watching TV;
• sweating of the palms, not associated with physiological reasons;
• aggression directed at inanimate objects, often repeated games of war, destruction, desire to break toys;
• obvious enjoyment of the visual suffering of animals or weaker and defenseless children;
• sharp pains in the head or abdomen, fever, nausea and vomiting on the eve of a certain recurring event (a lesson from a strict teacher, going to visit a relative).

When answering the questions of a psychologist or conducting an independent diagnosis of childhood fears, you need to remember and identify as many examples of disturbing signs as possible, as well as restore events that accompany most of the facts. As a rule, a problem quickly reveals itself if it is surrounded by numerous details or is repeated at constant intervals (for example, a child becomes ill before each visit to a math tutor).

Psychoanalysis of children's fears in the preschool category of patients is carried out by filling out a test sheet by parents. The conclusions that relatives make in this case are based on monitoring the behavior of the child in the last period (several days, a week, a month).

Creative Diagnostics - Drawing

At the heart of almost all practical techniques for working with children's fears is the visualization of the problem through a drawing. Creativity is the most natural way for a person to express himself at any age, and drawing is also the most informative one. For the test, you need a blank sheet of non-lined paper and a pack of pencils from 8 to 12 colors.

If the workshop implies a free topic, then it is worth evaluating only a fully finished work. The reason for children's fear should be sought in the "key" subject, around which the plot of the whole picture will be built.

Sometimes a child with displeasure takes up the proposed work - draws carelessly, only to avoid pressure from adults or completely rejects the offer to "dream up". This indicates a reluctance to discuss a "sore subject" or a fear of "doing something wrong." In this case, it is better to switch to other diagnostic methods, and to postpone the drawing until the time when the child is ready to discuss the cause of his anxiety.

Color rendition in test tasks

Among the first moments at which the psychologist will focus his attention, analyzing creative work, is the color rendition. The use of passive, muffled tones, such as gray, black or dark brown, indicates an already formed problem and the deep stress state of the small patient. If at the same time the drawing is literally riddled with a strong pressure of the pencil, then this is a signal of the child's independent attempts to cope with fear, push him out of himself.

Other colors, according to the emotional spectrometer of psychologist M. Lusher, mean the following.

An important point of the creative test is drawing yourself. If a child depicts a figure identifying with his personality, at the request of a psychologist, then the correlation of the child’s “I” in the figure with other figures becomes the defining aspects of the analysis. If the image of a child serves as the center of a plot on a free theme, then such a picture is already a direct appeal to adults. Color rendering and the nature of the picture will define this appeal as a cry for help or an attempt to express oneself through the schedule.

Home-based fear correction in a playful way

Correction of children's fears in a relaxed home environment is possible if the baby's anxiety has not yet taken on an obsessive course and has not developed into a form of mental disorder. The basis of the home method is dialogue, during which parents carefully and benevolently talk (do not ask, but talk!) With the child on what fears are, where they come from and how to deal with them.

The conversation should be conducted in a playful way, best of all - in the form of a fairy tale, where the parent begins the phrases, and the child finishes them as he wants. You can start like this: "In one cave, far from here, right in the middle of the high mountains there lived an unfortunate one, nobody needed ...". The child answers, and the tale continues, in accordance with his choice of "mountain dweller". Getting involved in the game, the baby ceases to control his unwillingness to share with the problem and gradually gives out all his “terrible secrets”.

It is important to correctly build the plot of a fairy tale, turning events in such a way that the unfortunate "monster" at the end of the story no longer causes fear, but a desire to make friends with him, to pity him. With an aggressive mood of a child, you can destroy a monster by dropping it into a deep abyss or imprisoning it for a thousand years in a high tower.

Be sure to give the child "superpowers" during the game, which scare away all negative characters, without exception. For example, let a fearing hero fear himself, but not everyone, namely brown-eyed boys, when they make an “angry” expression on their face and say: “Get out!” It’s good to rehearse with the child, playing the situation, how he drives the monster away, and it ridiculously runs far, far, warning all the other monsters along the way that “there are no jokes with this boy.”

Parents should remember that regardless of the types and causes of children's fears, they do not seem either stupid or “empty” to the child himself, and convincing him that “he is already big to be afraid of” is a waste of time. Let the baby know that all adults, when they were children, were afraid of something, and there was nothing to be ashamed of. Only having met with full understanding and “reprimanded” all the “horrors” that tormented him, the child will be able to calmly accept his growing up and not feel lonely.

Wenger Correction

Dr. Wenger’s technique of “eliminating fears” is used to work with children after the age of five and includes five successive steps to overcome anxiety. The lesson is held in the presence of the father or mother of the child, who should not interfere in the conversation.

The content of the five points of the methodology for children's fears should vary, depending on the age criteria of the patient, the level of his mental development, temperament, desire for cooperation with a psychologist.

1. First, the psychologist asks the child to tell a little about himself: what he is fond of, what he loves and what not. If the patient makes good contact, then the specialist can directly ask him if he is afraid of something, how quickly he falls asleep? More often the child is not ready for direct questions and even at the stage of "entry" begins to show stiffness. Then the psychologist carefully guides him “into the subject” until he receives the necessary information. This is followed by an explanation to the child that fear is normal, but in order to make it clear to fear that he is not the main thing, you need to learn how to drive him away. The patient is offered to close his eyes and remember the moment when he first realized that he was afraid. He must describe his fear - what he looks like, where he hides, how he smells, etc.
2. After the personalization of fear as an existing unit, its visualization follows. Using colored pencils, the child is asked to portray fear as he sees and feels it. At this stage, the preschooler needs help, because fear for him may turn out to be an abstract concept, devoid of a specific image. When forming an image on paper, a specialist asks leading questions, asking what color this fear is, what his eyes are, how many arms, legs (paws) he has.
3. The resulting creation must be considered, remember something related to it. To achieve the desired goal, the preschooler must recognize and acknowledge aloud that the monster depicted is precisely the character that frightened him, and he is now not in the child’s head, not under the bed or in the closet, but here - on a piece of paper. Destroying it in such a vulnerable state is very simple - you just need to tear the picture into small pieces. The psychologist does not participate in the destruction of the picture, but supports the child’s emotional excitement with prompts: “Let's break it even smaller!”, “Throw right on the floor, like that, step with your foot!” Then all the scraps are carefully collected, crumpled and sent to the basket with the words: “Even a piece has not been lost, everyone threw it away, there is none more!”
4. Now it remains to convey to the child the importance of the actions taken by him - he coped, he has nothing to fear in the future, and if a new fear arises in his life, he now knows how to cope with him easily and simply. Older children with well-developed logical thinking should explain the principles of psychotechnical struggle with fear.
5. The final, fifth stage is not considered mandatory, but it is recommended, especially for preschoolers, who are very important to receive confirmation several times that everything is good and bad will not come back. The phase of "consolidation of the effect" is based on auto-suggestion.

Work with parents

The timely recognition of children's fears and their overcoming is only 10-15% of the work of a psychologist. As in ancient times, the antidote was made from the same plant from which the poison was obtained, so the solution to the problem should be sought at the place of its origin - in the family. First of all, it is necessary to eliminate any causes of a well-founded fear of the child - fear of failure or punishment, fear of becoming the subject of ridicule or domestic proceedings “with partiality”.

Praise for a successfully completed business, regardless of its significance, is the best medicine against self-doubt, which generates all kinds of fears, without exception. The child should not be afraid that he will be punished, even if the task assigned to him was not completed or performed incorrectly. But at the same time, achieving a pleasant sense of pride in success and encouraging adults, he will try to overcome the loser in himself and thereby suppress in himself all manifestations of this weakness.