We are used to comparing ourselves with others since childhood. Perhaps everyone remembers how his parents tried more than once to prick him with success or some outstanding qualities of their peers, emphasizing that he was far from them? Growing up, we ourselves continue to habitually engage in comparing ourselves with other people. And it is far from always being in our favor.
And if in childhood we simply resented the elders and internally resisted such a comparison, then becoming adults, we suffer from our own habit of measuring our merits with the successes of others, involuntarily lowering our self-esteem.
When such comparisons increasingly interfere with enjoy life, you need to start fighting it. How to stop comparing yourself with others? There are different ways.
Is it worth fighting the habit of comparing
How to stop comparing yourself with others and start living fully? And is this even possible, since everyone has such a habit? Perhaps it’s not possible to completely get rid of it, but trying to make sure that it does not poison our lives is simply necessary. But how?
For starters, you just need to consciously decide to abandon comparisons. No one except the man himself can do this for him. Only by taking the habit of comparing oneself with more successful and successful ones, a person will be able to truly experience happiness and freedom. And it's worth it to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and get rid of this habit forever.
Do not compare with that?
How to stop comparing yourself with others? The reasons for this habit lie not only in education. We are constantly imposed artificial stereotypes of a beautiful life through advertising on television, on the Internet. And we often find ourselves not ready to withstand this, forgetting that advertising is aimed at selling, and not showing real life from the screens.
A sense of second-rate often arises when comparing oneself to more successful or more beautiful real people. For example, when viewing photos of your friends and acquaintances on social networks. Successful, at first glance, people like to take selfies taken in foreign travels, in rich homes, prestigious restaurants.
And it is so disappointing to realize that one’s own life is not so bright at all ... Compared to all this magnificence, one’s own happy moments seem to fade.
But didn’t it occur to you that people who post these photos on the Internet just create the illusion of well-being? And not the fact that the “successful” and “brilliant” would not envy your cozy and simple happiness ...
Only by learning to value what one has and to be grateful to fate for this, a person can truly experience the taste of life!
Self-flagellation is stupid
If in childhood we “measure” with peers the right behavior, from the point of view of adults, or good grades, prestigious toys, then at an older age we are already starting to compare cars, outfits, figures, career growth, places of rest, luck and success ...
When such a comparison is increasingly in favor of others, a person is gnawed by disappointment, he begins to doubt himself and feel flawed. Uncertainty in one's own strength does not at all stimulate one to achieve more, but on the contrary, contributes to the fact that they give up ...
Psychologists say that such self-flagellation is pointless and even stupid. After all, the universe created each person unique. Any of us is unique. Someone is given talent in one area, someone in another; some received from God extraordinary external beauty, while others were given a beautiful soul; others seem to have neither beauty nor special abilities, but in life they are so lucky that many envy them ...
That’s why you don’t need to compare yourself with other people - the same unique creatures. It is logical to compare only ... with oneself, but with another, in other circumstances or at another time.
How to compare yourself ... with yourself
Why compare with the strengths and successes with outstanding athletes or artists? It is much more useful to compare yourself with yourself, but some time ago. For example, to remember that until recently it was unavailable, but today it has already become a reality. Such a comparison motivates self-improvement, to become better.
So, if the question of how to stop comparing yourself with others is relevant for you, it is useful to learn how to make such a comparison with yourself yesterday to give a real assessment of your progress and begin to be proud of today's successes. How?
Do not forget about your own merits
Usually we compare ourselves with others in some specific way. But after all, some advantages were given to someone from birth, and others to others ... Each has strengths and weaknesses.
But here is the paradox: we glorify other people's successes to heaven, they seem to us delightful and unique. But for some reason we quickly forget about our own achievements. They warm the soul only at the beginning, and after a while feelings of pride and joy are replaced by a gray strip of gloom.
Psychologists advise people with low self-esteem to write down all achievements, even the smallest ones. To do this, it is recommended to keep a special diary. And as soon as you get the feeling that once again after comparing yourself with others, self-esteem falls again dramatically, you just need to re-read your entries in the achievement diary. It is very important not to forget the list of your successes to constantly replenish!
But also not to be conceited
The flip side of the coin is a comparison of yourself with those who in some way do not reach your bar. This also will not lead to anything good. Only at first glance it may seem that by comparing himself with those who are less successful in some area, a person raises his self-esteem. In fact, this leads to the appearance of vanity. And most importantly, it slows down its own self-development, does not allow the arrogant person to grow. After all, why become better if you already surpass someone in something?
In any case, comparing yourself with others is harmful. After all, such a comparison makes a person either miserable or conceited. And one and the other does not carry anything positive in itself.
Control yourself
Control the moments when you begin to compare yourself with others: as soon as the idea of your own superiority or inferiority comes to mind, immediately drive it from there! To get rid of vanity or bitter envy is easier in their very bud.
But in parallel, it will not hurt to start working on their complexes. Maybe you need not envy others, but try to pull up that area of life in which you are a little behind?
For example, are you far from the ideal figure of a friend or a movie actress? Do not rush to be upset about this - it is better to go to a fitness club! And if you feel that your success at work is significantly inferior to the achievements of your colleagues, you should do self-development or enroll in retraining courses.
If, on the contrary, you feel your superiority over others in something, help them pull themselves up to your level. Your self-esteem from this will only increase.
How to stop comparing yourself to other women
Most often, representatives of the weaker sex suffer from comparing themselves with other women. Starting with external data and ending with successes in personal life and career. Solving the question of how to stop comparing yourself with other girls often becomes one of the important conditions for them to feel happy.
Psychologists claim that they are compared with more beautiful or successful ones who are deprived of love in life. Real, disinterested, which is not for something, but "just like that." Such an inferiority complex is involuntarily brought up in girls by parents as a child, when they praise, kiss or allow something pleasant for good grades, help with housework, etc.
And if this completely wrong idea of love is firmly entrenched in consciousness, it must be eradicated. To begin with, every girl must learn to love herself as God created her. Each has its own drawbacks, but there are advantages, beyond which minor imperfections are simply not visible! It is important to remember that only by loving yourself and accepting your imperfection, a woman can find harmony.
How to stop comparing yourself to other people. Conclusion
We have been comparing ourselves with others since childhood, but we need to get rid of this bad habit.
Consciously track and suppress every desire to compare.
While admiring the virtues of others, do not forget about your own strengths.
Love yourself as you are. Accept your imperfection. Remember that ideal people do not exist.
Acting in this way, you will not notice that you are no longer faced with the task of how to stop comparing yourself to others.