People communicate not only through voice (verbal communication). There is also a non-verbal form of communication - body language. Sometimes it is much more eloquent than words. Having studied non-verbal signals, you can better understand others.
Language of the body
Non-verbal signals include:
- facial expressions
- gestures
- body movements;
- pose;
- eye contact;
- change of intonation in the voice;
- distance
We will analyze their types in more detail.
Gesticulation . It includes any movements of hands and brushes. Here you can add manipulations with small objects.
Facial Expressions. These are non-verbal signals that can be read on a person's face: blinking, smiling, frowning, grin. As well as any psychosomatic processes associated with the face: suddenly flushed, blush, redness, pale appearance.
Body movements. Any body movements (this does not include those for which you need to use your hands and head). For example, drawing with the foot in the sand, protruding the chest, sipping, a foot-to-foot gesture. This refers to the general position of the body and its change. For example, a person can stand, pushing the body into the wall, with his arms and legs crossed. This will signal a certain psychological state.
Intonation. This includes:
- tone of speech;
- smacking;
- sighs
- breath holding
- pauses.
We have listed the main types of non-verbal signals of the body. It will be useful to study them for those who constantly work with people or speak in public. Such signs act on the subconscious of people much stronger than verbal.
Fake Signals
Non-verbal signals cannot be completely controlled, which means they are very difficult to fake. They come from the realm of the unconscious, and if a person plays, then discrepancies of words and facial expressions will be visible. He will not be able to completely relax, which is also easy to notice.
It happens that the interlocutor answers in the affirmative, but in fact does not think so. Please note: his head will unknowingly sway, as if to say the opposite. Your intuition is an excellent assistant in the difficult task of recognizing the correspondence between verbal and non-verbal signals. Do not brush it off, but rather, listen.
Decryption Errors
Non-verbal body signals are not always interpreted correctly, and there are reasons for this. Let's look at the main errors:
- The context is ignored. Pay attention to the circumstances surrounding the situation. For example, you see a girl who lowered her sad look and put her arms around herself. However, she is trembling. If this lady is your employee and sits in the office, then you might think that she is upset and desperate. The same non-verbal signals can be sent by a woman at a bus stop in the winter, but at the same time she just became very cold.
- Focus on just one gesture. For example, it can be a notorious gesture when arms are crossed on the chest. Everyone knows that it means rejection, closeness of the interlocutor, rejection of your ideas. It is not always so. The interlocutor may just be comfortable standing like that, he was tired, leaned against the wall and conveniently folded his hands. In addition, you need to pay attention to the totality of non-verbal gestures. If your arms are crossed on your chest, and at the same time the person has a frown, a raised eyebrow and legs turned away from you, then we can talk about rejection.
The ability to recognize non-verbal signals of love laid in women by nature itself. This is the very female intuition. It is given to the weaker sex in order to understand what a child needs during a period when he cannot yet say about it. But her lovely ladies use it not only for their "intended" purpose. However, men are endowed with a sixth sense ...
Non-verbal signals of a man
The stronger sex has excellent control over their emotions, at least better than women, but it is almost impossible to completely disguise them:
- Dilated pupils. It’s not always possible to look a guy directly in the eye, but if you see that when you look at him, his pupils will expand, you can be sure that he likes you.
- Twitching eyebrow. If you notice such a non-verbal signal when looking at you, then it can also be interpreted as a sign of sympathy.
- Evaluating top-down view. Did the guy look you in the eye, and then his gaze went down? You can rest assured that he likes you. Women are well aware of this masculine look. The paradox is that when a girl does so, the guy does not understand this sign.
- The pose of a man who is sympathetic. When meeting with a pretty girl, a man begins to involuntarily preen: to correct something, to wipe shoes, to smooth a jacket. The guy who wants to please, draws in his stomach, trying to take the most advantageous position to show his muscles. He will not miss the opportunity to bring or move something to show his strength - “play with your muscles”.
Female non-verbal sympathy signals
Girls are emotional creatures. It is a fact! The quantity and quality of non-verbal signals depends on how much the woman wants to attract the attention of a man. Let's understand the tricks and tricks that ladies most often use unconsciously:
- Vote. Almost all the ladies when communicating with the object of sympathy involuntarily change their voice. The normal pace of speech slows down. The voice becomes lower, even a mild hoarseness may appear. This suggests that a woman has a sexual desire for a man.
- Embarrassment. When a girl likes a guy, but she is afraid to be rejected, the pace of her speech, on the contrary, accelerates. The voice breaks, trembles, screeching notes appear. A spasm may occur in the throat, a cough is possible.
- Giggle. The girl’s laugh also changes. even a well-mannered lady can suddenly begin to giggle hysterically, laugh out loud. The picture looks very stupid.
Female magic
Girls use non-verbal signals to attract the stronger sex. The gestures most commonly used by ladies are as follows:
- touching the earlobe, correcting earrings;
- winding locks of hair on a finger;
- demonstration of the wrist;
- sipping, which show a thin waist, expose the abdomen or a lush bust;
- demonstrative toe-to-toe.
More candid sexual appeals:
- Playing with a shoe, preferably a boat. The girl takes it off and swings it on the toe, then puts it back on.
- Manipulations with cylindrical objects. Scrolling cigarettes between fingers, stroking a misted glass of champagne. These non-verbal signals indicate that the hands are ready for affection. In a man, such gestures evoke sexual fantasies against his will.
To make your gestures enjoyable rather than aggressively sexual, remember why a woman needs hands. They pump the baby, stroke and soothe the beloved man, massage him, relieving fatigue. If you keep this in mind, then the gestures and movements themselves will become smooth, graceful and soft. You will look natural and open.
Unattractive manipulations
If a girl came to a party with the specific purpose of meeting a guy, then you need to carefully monitor her gestures. Some may push away a strong floor, no matter how beautiful a lady looks:
- You can’t stand with your legs and arms crossed. This reduces the chance to make a pleasant acquaintance to zero. This behavior indicates that you are closed to contact with people.
- Touch your face less with your hands. Hand cheeks, rubbing the nose and finger at the mouth - these are gestures of “blue stockings”. It also indicates strong self-doubt.
Flying gait
A beautiful walk is another non-verbal signal for men. The strong floor attracts a flat back, shoulders laid back, cat's grace. Do not swing your arms too much - it looks awkward.
You can read a person’s character by gait. This applies not only to women, but also to men. A fearful man takes small steps. A soldier’s march means a penchant for manipulation and command. Angular movements will tell about duality in character. Such a person is trying to defend himself, but can suddenly show aggression.
It is bad when the legs move, and the hands hang limply along the body. This betrays helplessness, unwillingness to take the initiative. In a non-verbal language, it says: "I am weak, do everything for me." Men do not like such women.
In The Italian Marriage, Sophie showed an amazing gait that became a textbook. Her husband-director taught her to walk beautifully. He came up with a very funny way to train. The actress was supposed to walk between two rows of nightstands and close their doors with hips. Sophie trained until the flapping of the wings was barely audible.
How to understand that a person is lying
Non-verbal signals of lies are not so difficult to recognize if you know some secrets. Our subconscious mind does not tell lies and will easily betray a liar. Be attentive to the signals, they can give out real thoughts of a person:
- gestures:
- sight;
- pose;
- intonation, timbre of voice.
Want to know what a son or teenage daughter is hiding? Or maybe you want to understand how the boss really treats you? Wondered if your husband is cheating on you? These questions can be answered by studying the psychology of lies.
- Take a closer look at the left side. This part of the face can easily reveal a liar. Take a close look at the person whose sincerity you doubt. If during the story his left hand dangles, describes obscure circles, or he wringes fingers on it - this is a sign that the interlocutor is lying. The left foot can give the same thing. The thing is that the left and right hemispheres of the brain control both the left and right sides of the body, only this works crosswise. This means that the right hemisphere, which is responsible for emotions and poorly amenable to control, is likely to betray a lie, even rehearsed in advance.
- Hand covered mouth. If your counterpart wants to lie, then he can cover his mouth with his hand. The thumb, as a rule, is pressed to the cheek. In addition, the interlocutor may cough. The main thing - do not confuse this non-verbal sign with a real cold. If such a signal is given by a person who is listening, then this means distrust of the interlocutor.
- "Noodles on the ears." A person who is tired of his own lies will cover his ears with his hands or hold them near this part of the body. This gesture is an attempt to isolate oneself from an untruthful story. A person who does not believe the words of his interlocutor will do the same.
- Squeeze through your teeth. There is such a proverb: "The word - not a sparrow, fly out - you will not catch." A person who cheats will try not to open the birdhouse too much, that is, to speak not very loudly and through gritted teeth. Such behavior can also mean displeasure, annoyance, fatigue, or grief for the narrator. It all depends on the context and situation.
- Eyes - a reflection of the veracity of words. The stronger sex does not like to look into the eyes, if cheating. A man scratches an eyelid. A lady may begin to correct makeup or pretend that something has gotten into her eye. This non-verbal signal also indicates that you are tired of your counterpart.
- Look away. Representatives of the stronger sex control their emotions well, but if the deception is serious, then they shift their eyes to the floor. Girls, as a rule, if they lie, look at the ceiling.
- Itchy neck. This is one of the most interesting gestures noticed by psychologists. A person who lies begins to scratch his neck with the index finger of his right hand. However, he usually makes five movements. If this is done by the interlocutor who is listening, this means that he does not believe his opponent.
- Speak briefly. Even if a person has been preparing for a long time and thinking over a lie, he will try to give it out as quickly as possible and without unnecessary details. The liar himself dislikes the story he tells, so he will try to get this over with quickly.
- An inquiring look. If in ordinary conversation people have no habit of capturing the reaction to their words, then the liar will inquisitively look into his eyes, checking whether they believe him or not.
How to pinpoint a lie?
There are situations when you need to know for sure whether the truth is in the opposite or lying. Try the tips below:
- Say that not everyone understood. Ask the person you suspect of cheating to repeat all the details. This is a serious psychological attack. The liar will begin to go astray and move away from the details. Observe what non-verbal signals his body sends.
- Listen to the other person carefully. Play different expressions on your face: change the benevolent to a sign of distrust. The interlocutor who is lying, closely monitor your facial expression. If he knows the meaning of non-verbal signals or if he intuitively feels something, he will immediately begin to panic and go astray.
How to recognize the sincerity of a smile
Any person considers a smile a sign of sympathy and good attitude. It affects the subconscious in any case, whether you want it or not. Therefore, it is so important to distinguish between a real manifestation of sympathy or a fake stretchy smile, with which they want to achieve something from you.
The bad sign is asymmetry. A real smile is even, but when a person “pulls” it, then one corner of the mouth can be higher than another. Teeth are also considered a sign of trust and sympathy. A sign of goodwill is that the interlocutor does not hesitate to laugh with you.
Irony. The ironic laugh is inherent in the people who treat you, in general, well, but it means that at the moment you look comical. The smile is slightly curved, and one eye can be narrowed.
Sarcasm is a blatant manifestation of disrespect and arrogance. A man considers you below himself and laughs at you frankly. Signs of sarcasm:
- the curvature of a smile;
- haughty squint of the eyes ;
- malevolence in the voice.
How to understand non-verbal signals of boredom? This is especially necessary if the person’s profession is associated with constant public appearances. It is also important for sales agents to understand whether a potential buyer is listening to his speech or simply pretending. If the opponent is bored, then he is unlikely to be able to hide it: body language does not deceive.
Signals of boredom
By such signs, you can recognize that the interlocutor is not interested in your story or your company is bored:
- If a person is in a sitting position, especially at the table, then he will props his head with his hand. And if he is not particularly visible (for example, a student at the back desk during lectures), then he may even fall asleep.
- A person who is not interested will look at his watch, as if in a hurry somewhere. He does not look at the interlocutor, but through him or the other way, trying to occupy his brain with something.
- The sign of fatigue is most often yawning. If a person already wants to end the conversation and go home, then he begins to stoop, lean against the wall, lean on the back of the chair.
Sign language distance
Want to understand how the person you are talking to? Move closer to him. If you are pleasant to your counterpart, then he will remain in place and smile. If rejected, the person will automatically move away. He does not trust you, and it will be difficult to go into a closer phase of communication.
Non-verbal signals in communication are very important. If they coincide with your words, then the person will experience confidence in you on an intuitive level. Understanding other people's non-verbal signs, you can "read" the interlocutor like a book.
Non-verbal signals in communication will help to attract the attention of the opposite sex. A girl who speaks "body language" is more likely to attract the guy he likes. In addition, if a lady is familiar with such a concept as non-verbal signals of sympathy, and knows how to distinguish them, she will be able to protect herself from gigolos, scams and pick-up men. By reading the signals that the body gives us, you can find out what the young man has in mind and make sure that he is really sympathetic.
However, sign language is useful not only in amorous matters. A person who makes a career gets a chance to interact better with his superiors or to get around his colleagues if he has such knowledge.