The Karpman Triangle is a model of the relationship between individuals of three different types. This is a kind of game that reflects reality. The author of this theory is Stephen Karpman.
Karpman Triangle: Model Description
This model involves the division of individuals into three types: Victim, Stalker and Rescuer. There is a conflict between the first and second, but the third is trying to resolve the situation and help the victim out. A feature of this model is that a similar situation can persist for many years, to one degree or another, arranging each of the parties. The persecutor, as a strong personality, terrorizes others, the Victim finds satisfaction in transferring responsibility for his failures to others, but the Rescuer sees his mission in helping out each and every difficult situation.
Despite the fact that the roles in the Karpman triangle are clearly distributed, this does not mean that they remain so all the time. It is difficult for people to constantly adhere to the same position, and therefore the Victim can sometimes turn into the Persecutor, the Savior into the Victim, and so on. It should be noted that these transformations are not of a permanent nature, but are episodic.
Co-dependent relationship
If we make it a rule to analyze the situations happening around us, we can conclude that many of them illustrate the Karpman triangle. Co-dependent relationships are a kind of synonym, or the basis of a given psychological phenomenon. This means a situation where certain types of personality conflict, but at the same time they absolutely cannot imagine their life without each other.
Victim, persecutor and Rescuer are the main actors on whose interaction the Karpman triangle is based. Co-dependent relations between them are based on the fact that they are self-fulfilling at the expense of each other. Thus, the Victim finds justification for the attacks of the Persecutor, who, in turn, receives satisfaction by dominating her. The Rescuer shows his aggression towards the Persecutor under the pretext of protecting the Victim. This is a vicious circle (or rather a triangle), which is not so easy to break. The main difficulty is that the actors themselves do not want this.
Victim Role
One of the roles of this psychological model is Victim. Karpman's triangle implies that such individuals seek to completely relieve themselves of responsibility for events occurring in their lives. In addition, such a man in every possible way tries to achieve attention and compassion for himself. Another option is the provocation of aggressors. Having achieved his goal, the Victim begins to manipulate them, demanding some compensation.
It is worth noting that it is Karpman who gives the key importance in his triangle. This is due to the fact that this character can quickly turn into a Stalker or Rescuer. At the same time, the Victim does not fundamentally change his beliefs, while also trying to avoid any responsibility for his actions.
It is worth noting that in some situations only Karpman triangle consists of characters of this type. To leave the Victim is possible only by changing the emotional background. She should feel the possibility of introducing changes into her life, as well as be aware of the fact that they are impossible without taking responsibility.
Pursuit role
The persecutor, by nature, seeks leadership and dominance over others. He is trying to manipulate the Sacrifice, fully justifying these actions in his mind. It is only natural that the object of attack begins to resist in every way. Suppressing this protest, the Persecutor asserts himself and receives moral satisfaction. Thus, we can judge that the oppression of others is its basic need.
Another feature of the role of the Persecutor can be considered that his actions are not baseless. Inside himself, he finds them a complete justification and explanation. The absence of such can completely destroy his beliefs. Nevertheless, if the Persecutor meets resistance on the part of the Victim, this is an additional incentive to maintain his line of behavior.
Rescue role
A lifeguard is a rather complicated figure from a psychological point of view. It contains a desire for a manifestation of aggression, which he stubbornly suppresses. For one reason or another, this person cannot go into the status of the Persecutor, and therefore he has to look for another use for his unused resources. He finds his mission in protecting the Victim.
It is worth noting that the ultimate goal of the Savior is not to remove the Sacrifice from the "distress" position. In this case, he risks losing the path of his self-realization. And it consists in the fact that the Savior shows hidden aggression against the Persecutor under the pretext of protecting the Victim. From this we can conclude that the latter’s way out of the triangle is not beneficial for him.
How to get out of the triangle
We constantly find ourselves in certain situations of life, and sometimes we create them ourselves. Finding a way out of the Karpman triangle is sometimes a daunting task. The longer we are exposed to others, the deeper we dive in their scripts and intrigues. If you feel psychological discomfort, then you just need to put an end to your participation in this triangle.
The first step to resolving the problem will be recognizing that this situation can be described as a Karpman triangle. How to get out of this dependence is largely determined by the executable role. Determining it is not so simple, because sometimes you can draw unpleasant conclusions for yourself. Nevertheless, to solve the problem, you will need to objectively consider your behavior in order to determine who you are - the Victim, the Persecutor or the Rescuer.
Recommendations for the Victim
This figure is one of the most complex and key in such a model as the Karpman triangle. How to get out of the role of Victim? It is difficult enough, but you can ease the task by following some recommendations:
- should gradually begin to take independent steps to improve their lives;
- it is important to stop shifting responsibility for your problems and troubles to others;
- Understand that for each service rendered to you you will have to pay to one degree or another;
- get rid of the habit of making excuses - you have every right to act at your own discretion;
- if a Savior appears in your life, try to benefit from communicating with him, not trying to push him with the Chaser.
Recommendations for the Rescuer
The following actions will help the rescuer leave Karpman’s triangle:
- if no requests for help have been received, then in no case do not interfere in other people's relations;
- do not consider yourself smarter than others;
- Before giving promises to anyone, make sure 100% that you are able to fulfill them;
- if you volunteer to help yourself, then you should not count on gratitude;
- if you are providing assistance with the goal of gaining a profit or a return service, do not hesitate to talk about it;
- find a way of self-realization that does not involve interference in other people's problems;
- if you feel your calling in helping others, then do it where you really need it.
Recommendations for the pursuer
If the Karpman triangle has become an undesirable situation for the Chaser, then he should start working on himself in the following areas:
- Before you show aggression towards others, you must clearly make sure that it is not baseless, but is the result of someone obscene behavior;
- you must realize that you tend to make mistakes just like other people;
- Look for the cause of your problems and failures in your behavior, and not in the people around you;
- Understand the fact that, just as you do not consider it necessary to reckon with an alternative opinion, other people are also not at all obliged to accept your point of view;
- find for yourself other ways of self-realization, except how to oppress others and dominate them;
- Get your profit by motivating people, not by putting pressure on them.
Karpman Triangle: Case Studies
In ordinary life, there are quite a lot of situations that can illustrate the Karpman triangle. So, the most common example is the relationship of a wife, husband and mother-in-law. The first, naturally, plays the role of the Victim, which the Persecutor constantly terrorizes (it is easy to guess that this is the mother of the spouse). The husband in this game is the Rescuer, who is trying to establish relationships between members of his family. In the process of resolving or aggravating the conflict, its participants can change their positions, switching to other roles.
Another example of the Karpman triangle is the upbringing of a child in the family. The Parent-Chaser is committed to rigor, and the Parent-Rescuer regrets and pampers his baby. The child in this case takes the position of Victim. Not wanting to follow strict rules, he pits the Chaser and the Savior. Having thus solved his problem, he goes into the shadows, and the conflict between parents continues to develop.
conclusions
Most situations that occur in our lives can fall under the description of the Karpman triangle theory. No matter how hard we try, no one can avoid avoiding taking the role of Victim, Stalker or Aggressor in a given situation. Nevertheless, the game may drag on, which is fraught with serious psychological and practical problems. Then the moment comes to exit this model.
Leaving the Karpman triangle is only possible if you clearly recognize your role in this game. To do this is not so simple, because not everyone is soberly assessing the situation and recognizing their vices. If you were able to clearly assess your role, then it only remains to follow the relevant recommendations.
To leave Karpman’s triangle, the Victim must learn to take responsibility for her own failures. As for the Persecutor, he should find another source of self-expression, in addition to unmotivated aggression and humiliation of the dignity of others. The rescuer must realize that he may not always be right, and therefore there is no need to rush to the aid if the corresponding request has not been received.