Is the problem of fathers and children outdated today? Psychological perspective

Is the problem of fathers and children outdated today? The answer is definitely not. After all, fathers and children are an eternally relevant topic that did not begin with Turgenev, and whose end and edge cannot be seen. In this article, we consider the relationships of different generations today, methods of solving emerging problems, etc.

Is the problem of fathers and children outdated today

The eternal problem of generations

How often do we hear that “it used to be better” or “in my time ...”? Hundreds and thousands of representatives of each new grown generation certainly utter at least one of these phrases without fail (and some never cease) . Remarkably, the statement is O tempora! O mores! ("About time! About manners!") Appeared in the 1st century BC. e., he said Cicero in his accusatory speech. So many millennia have passed, and it is still remembered, and moreover, it is still relevant.

Based on this, is it possible to answer positively the question: is the problem of fathers and children outdated today? It is unlikely that the answer will ever ever be in the affirmative.

Reflection in art

For centuries, the theme of the relationship between fathers and children has been reflected in art. So, the phrase already mentioned in his “Woe from Wit” was used by Griboedov (because for a long time it was attributed to him). But the most revealing work that is recalled right away when the question is asked whether the problem of fathers and children is outdated today is the eponymous one, written by Turgenev. This, of course, is “Fathers and Sons.”

Psychological point of view

But, despite the fact that you can philosophically reason as much as you like, sometimes the problem is posed very sharply and specifically. And then even the consultation of a family psychologist may be required - as a prevention of conflicts or solutions to existing ones. They just arise from the lack of understanding of fathers by children and vice versa.

Statistics

According to statistics, the problem of fathers and children today is as follows: almost eighty-five percent of quarrels develop into serious clashes that require professional intervention. The remaining fifteen percent also cannot do without periodic conflicts.

family psychologist consultation

Confrontation

The elders, of course, must be respected. Especially parents, to whom children owe life, education and comfort. Nevertheless, it is precisely the inertial control on the part of the “fathers” that does not give a negative answer to the question of whether the problem of fathers and children is outdated today.

Influence can develop into almost imposing one’s thoughts and interests.

Children do not remain in debt - trying to show their "adulthood."

Generational Psychology

Different psychology implies a completely different way of social and everyday life. This means that it is difficult for parents, and they do not need (in their opinion) to change themselves for the child, given that they, as adults and well-established people already know how to live. But children strive to be themselves, and not copies of their mothers and fathers. The older they get, the more this manifests itself.

Stages and ages

When the children are still very young, all their discontent is expressed mainly in moods and crying. At this time, parents have a fairly large sphere of influence and control. But not every one of them is able to reconcile with the fact that gradually it is weakening more and more. The peak voltage reaches a point of transitional age, "uncontrollable teenager."

the problem of fathers and children today

Forms of conflict

It is difficult to even say that the worse is the open form, that is, constant cries, quarrels, almost fights, or closed, passive, in which, however, everything builds up and builds up nervous tension. Indeed, in essence, both the first and the second can reach the stage when the consultation of a family psychologist becomes necessary.

What determines the types and forms of manifestations of misunderstanding between fathers and children? This is influenced by characters, temperaments, individual personality traits.

Three generations came together

Of course, when they talk about fathers and children, they literally represent parents and those notorious difficult teenagers. But the essence of the problem of generations is that each of them is different from the other - the grown children are no longer able to get along with their mothers and fathers and must start an adult life. Yes, and grandparents always have their own way, no matter how hospitable they may be. This is the psychology embedded in the subconscious. Often, divorces occur because the newlyweds did not have their own apartment, and therefore they decided to huddle with their parents.

relationship of fathers and children

Variety of reasons

The urgency of the problem does not go away, but the reasons why it arises change, and after them it is necessary to improve the methods. But the main key to solving misunderstanding is always the same - to respect each other, to accept as we are, to be able to put ourselves in another place. This must be remembered as the younger generation, rebellious, violent, impulsive, and the older, held, judicious, firm in their decisions. After all, everyone was once a child, and everyone will someday become an adult.

Source: https://habr.com/ru/post/C31997/


All Articles