The formation of friendships is an important stage in the development of man as a person. Without communication and close friends, people begin to feel oppressed and useless to anyone. A friend is a support, a personal psychologist and a reliable partner. However, it can be very difficult to maintain friendship, because it, like any other relationship, requires participation. Selfishness, commercialism and composure will be detrimental to her. To build friendships and maintain them throughout life, it is recommended to follow the advice of psychologists.
Accept friends for who they are
Everyone knows that he has certain shortcomings, but he can not do anything about it. If even the person himself is not able to correct some of the nuances in himself, then demanding from him a complete change in his habits or a change of opinion is at least cruel and selfish.
To build a full-fledged friendship, it is important to accept a friend with all its disadvantages or just stay in friendly relations with him.
Choose friends as equals
This recommendation sounds pretty cruel, but it really is. The fact is that people who differ in intelligence, temperament and level of development will not be able to be friends for a long time. Typically, such relationships remain at one point and rarely develop beyond rare encounters and short joint vacations.
The fact is that a strong man sooner or later will understand that he literally "pulls" his friend on himself. At first, this will not result in serious conflicts, but in a few years this situation will begin to annoy both. The same goes for intellectual abilities. An intelligent person will not be able to maintain friendly relations with someone who is significantly inferior to him in development for a long time. Such a relationship is doomed to failure.
Be able to listen
To build a long-term relationship, you need to learn to talk not only about yourself, but also be interested in what is happening in the life of a friend. No one likes people who constantly complain about their lives and constantly wait for support, giving nothing in return.
You need to understand that some store their experiences inside - so it is easier for them to survive adversity. Other people need to talk, because only in this way can they feel relief.
Do not be friends with the three
In friendship, as in love, the third is superfluous. No matter how strong the affection of three friends, the connection of two of them will always be stronger. In addition, psychologists have long proved that good friendships can exist only between two people.
If a person is lucky, and he immediately has 2 best friends, then you should communicate with them separately so as not to make the third party jealous.
In large companies, the phrase “We are like one family” often sounds, but this is far from the case. In such "communes" friendship lasts exactly until the moment when people have something in common. For example, everyone does not have children, spouses, etc. As soon as one person from the company changes in life, most likely, all his comrades will turn away from him.
Avoid Psychological Addiction
It is very important to understand that in the process of developing friendships, each of the partners will change their marital status, status, place of residence and much more. Girls and young people very often complain about their comrades, saying that they moved away from them after the wedding or the birth of a child.
Do not confuse the concepts of "friendship" and "love." A friend is not obliged to devote all his time and attention to a friend, he can and should have a personal life.
According to statistics, men are more susceptible to psychological dependence on friends, because of this they are more likely to have fights in the family. Putting friendship first is a big mistake, because companionship should carry positive energy, and not be a burden for life.
Do not drag out conflicts
Friendship is a very subtle union that can easily be destroyed with just a few rash words thrown into the heat of resentment. However, one must understand that any conflict is more difficult to resolve if it is too prolonged. It is necessary to try to stipulate problems immediately after their occurrence. If the quarrel was very serious, then it is worth cooling off a bit and talking with a friend the next day.
According to psychologists, it is best to resolve conflicts no earlier than 24 hours, but no later than 48 hours. If you drag for too long, one of your comrades will begin to think that for a second friend their relationship is not so important.
Do not envy
Only a true friend will sincerely rejoice in the success of his comrade. If envy crept into the relationship, then this will destroy everything. Friendly relations are based not only on mutual assistance, but also on the ability to be happy for one's neighbor.
If a person is envious, then at a subconscious level, he will wish evil to his friend. Sooner or later, this will lead to the termination of friendship.
Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a friend
Betrayal is the most relevant and complex topic in both love and friendships. In this matter, everything depends on the "gravity of the crime."
If a friend met with another friend and did not tell you about it, then this should not be treated as treason. Accordingly, there is nothing to be offended either.
To consider betrayal the fact that a friend has a family, and now he is with her most of the time, is also very stupid and selfish.
If a comrade began to spread false rumors or set him up at work before the bosses, then this characterizes him not from the best side. Of course, you can not break off the relationship immediately, but at least you need to talk with the traitor and find out why he behaved this way.
Another important nuance - you can not look for excuses for betrayal. It must be clearly understood that the betrayer will betray again. In this situation, there are only two options: to forgive a friend and accept him with all his vices or to end the relationship.
Is there a friendship between a man and a woman
Psychologists are unanimous in this matter: in such friendships, one person always experiences warmer feelings. This is due to the fact that at some point a man or woman will begin to see a sexual object in his companion.
Even if friendly relations between representatives of different sexes originated in early childhood, this does not mean that these people will experience exclusively platonic feelings for each other all their lives.
In addition, it is worth considering the fact that men and women have a different understanding of the meaning of friendship. If a representative of the stronger sex sees a girlfriend in a girl, then he will boldly tell her about his romantic adventures, will not open her door or pay for dinner.
A woman subconsciously perceives her male friend as a potential young man. Therefore, she will be offended by such behavior. To try to build real inter-gender friendships, you will have to make a lot of effort.
First, we must immediately agree that as soon as one of the comrades begins to experience warmer and more tender feelings, he must honestly admit it. Secondly, do not talk too frankly about your love affairs, this topic is best left for comrades of the same sex.
Building true friendships is a long process that requires a lot of effort on both sides. The main thing is to always remain sincere with a comrade, not to envy him and not to be jealous - then the friendship will last for many years.