The death of a loved one is a very sad event. It leaves an indelible imprint on the soul of everyone who loved and respected the deceased. In such moments, any, even subtle falsity in the words of people sympathizing with grief is sharply felt. But it is not always a sign of indifference, many are simply lost and do not know how to choose the right words of condolences about death.
General recommendations
If you were closely acquainted with the deceased, you should not delay waiting for an invitation to a funeral or letters from his relatives. Heartbroken people can forget
send news of death or just don't know all the friends of the deceased. therefore
it is necessary to take the initiative and offer your help in organizing the funeral or make a visit within two weeks after the burial. The words of condolences about death that you utter should not affect extraneous topics and your personal affairs, it will be inappropriate to use quotes from various literary works. It is best to recall good moments from the life of the deceased, to tell how he was a person, without affecting bad qualities or unpleasant situations. Try to delicately avoid expressing condolences to those who had a strained relationship with the deceased, because such an act would cast a shadow of falsity on them and on you. In subsequent meetings with relatives or friends of the deceased, raise abstract topics without recalling grief.
It so happened that you do not have the opportunity to attend the funeral? In such a situation, it’s still worth expressing condolences about death. Send a telegram or flowers with an attached letter. In no case do not express
condolences over the phone, because it’s not accepted. But you can send a message by e-mail or SMS.
If the child died ...
It is especially difficult to find the words of condolences about the death of the child. The misfortune that befell parents often knocks them out of their rut and makes them close or even cool to each other. You can turn to religion and say that the child is now watching them from heaven, and he would not want to see that his death disconnects his parents, makes him become other people. They will certainly meet, but later, because all the will of God. If the parents are not believers, just try to support them in every possible way. Remember that any sincere words of condolences about death can have a healing effect. In this situation, one does not need to be a hypocrite.
If your parents died ...
Do not extort from yourself the words of condolences about the death of mom or father, especially
if you practically did not know these people. Sometimes it’s enough just to be near, to help with all possible forces, showing participation to the one who suffered the loss. If he wants to be alone - do not interfere, but be sure to send a letter with warm words to support the grief-stricken person.
Remember - any words you want to say must come from the heart. Do not be like people who just want to follow some formality. This is the only way to truly honor the memory of the deceased.