According to psychologists, the main reason for many problems of modern man may well be low self-esteem. Let's trace the statistics. It turns out that on the planet 80% of the population does not satisfy their professional status or position in society. How is it shown? Yes, a lot of things! For example, in the inability to get a good job or in the need to engage in an unloved and boring occupation, some constantly face problems in the family, others suffer from loneliness or unfulfilled abilities. It is difficult for an insecure person to find a common language with others, and he, as a rule, is also prone to various kinds of phobias.
What to do? All experts unanimously reiterate that if you are determined to be healthy and happy, you have no choice but to deal with self-doubt.
In this article, I would like to reveal the essence of this problem, point out the origins of its origin, and also give some tips on how to become more confident, decisive, and therefore happier.
Low self-esteem. Definition of a concept
I can’t have any exceptions here, I suppose, there is a so-called image of our own “I”, which can be considered the center of the personality. What does it consist of? I would say that, first of all, from an ideal idea of oneself, and this self-awareness, as a rule, is very carefully guarded from any kind of criticism.
In our hearts, each of us is confident in our perfection, significance and originality. Why? Yes, because a person simply could not live if he was absolutely sure of his worthlessness and uselessness. That is, initially, in each of us, nature laid a certain baggage of talents and confidence in overcoming difficulties. But the fact is that every day there are a lot of circumstances that, one way or another, undermine our faith in our own abilities, and it is precisely as a result of this that such negative feelings develop as a feeling of insecurity, guilt, fear and complete dissatisfaction with oneself as a result. There is low self-esteem, aggressiveness, irritability and weakness.
What does an ordinary person do in this case? Do not know? I will prompt. He begins to shift the blame on others, and he goes deeper and deeper into himself, thereby only exacerbating the situation.
Types of self-esteem
In general, psychologists believe that there are three types of self-assessment:
- low self-esteem;
- adequate;
- increased.
Without any doubt, the best self-esteem should be considered naturalness and adequacy of behavior. Let's see how people with different self-esteem will behave. For example, take a mother with a small child.
Children are children. A mobile kid ran around the yard, fell several times, stained his knees and palms, shoes, of course, are not very clean. A mother with low self-esteem will be ashamed of the child and will try to go home as soon as possible so that none of her neighbors notice the “exploits” of her child.
A mother with adequate self-esteem is always ready for this kind of adventure, so in her pocket there are wet wipes or a handkerchief. The kid will not even notice how he will again turn into a cleanroom.
Well, a parent with an overestimated self-esteem will try to turn sloppiness into a kind of feat, noting to the other mothers that her child is the most gifted (quick, brave, courageous), and dirty clothes are just an extra confirmation of her innocence.
Low self-esteem: how to deal with it
I immediately wanted to warn that you should not count on a quick, and even more momentary result. This process can take quite a while. Why? It seems to me, because a person has to change his way of thinking and his own perception of himself, and this can not happen overnight.
So, low self-esteem is a problem that everyone can cope with if desired, for this you just need to try to adhere to the following tips:
- Never compare yourself to other people. You are you! Remember once and for all. Yes, perhaps, something important of what your friends have is not enough for you, but, believe me, they envy you in something.
- Do not scold yourself and at all costs avoid comments aimed at self-humiliation.
- For compliments you need to thank, and not try to refute them.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
- Think and make a list of personal achievements and positive personal qualities. You are guaranteed to have them!
- Give more than get.
- Only do what you like.
- Live your own life.