For the beautiful half of humanity, the child is the greatest revelation. Becoming a mother, a woman discovers for herself a whole universe, the existence of which she had not previously suspected. From this moment, her inner world is transformed, filled with new colors and sounds. The desire to be a mother is one of the most powerful spiritual needs. There comes a time when it becomes simply necessary for someone to give their warmth and care. Conscious motherhood leads to a holistic perception of life, a true understanding of the essence of its female nature.
about the author
Anna Bykova is an experienced specialist with extensive experience in the field of parent-child relations. Many turn to her, and each is given individual attention. She has helped thousands of people to find harmony in the family, to understand their own children. Anna is a practicing psychologist, as well as the mother of two beautiful sons.
This amazing woman is the author of such works as “Is it good for a child in a children's team”, “Ten strategies to overcome fears”, “Psychological safety at school”. In her books, Anna Bykova considers such questions: how to teach the baby to assemble toys, to get to sleep without vagaries and hassle, to eat independently. Her entertaining texts reflect the problems of establishing mutual understanding, issues of education and development. Anna has many diplomas and awards, she constantly takes advanced training courses, is engaged in self-education.
The book "An independent child, or How to become a" lazy mom "" - one of the most famous of this author. She teaches the formation of a new look at current events.
Who benefits from independence
First of all, to the child himself. True development is possible only in conditions of autonomy. Parents who control their child too much may notice that he lacks any desire to resolve their affairs in the future. Control should not be confused with care and understanding.
Anna Bykova speaks of the need to educate inner freedom in the book “Lazy Mom”. A child who has not received a positive experience of independence in childhood, in adulthood is unable to make the right decision, to take responsibility. Having taught a son or daughter from an early age to be responsible for her actions, the mother also becomes happier: she will no longer have to constantly monitor every step of her baby.
Parental control
How many people, as adults, dream of getting rid of the dictatorship of their parents! And all this is due to an incorrect approach to the process of education. How to teach a child to be free in his choice? First of all, give up the thought of constantly monitoring it. Your concern should not prevent him from acquiring the necessary life skills. Parental control in most cases becomes a kind of annoying factor that does not allow the individual to grow and fully move forward.
To minimize the manifestations of your own habit of controlling the actions of the child, begin to give him instructions that he will be able to handle. The kid should feel the responsibility assigned to him, understand that they trust him. Refusal of manipulation contributes to the formation of sincere and honest relationships.
What prevents to become a "lazy mom"
In most cases, women are convinced that their direct duty is to devote all their time to the child. Many do not even think about how to pay attention to themselves and their spouse. Such behavior cannot be called reasonable. As a result, it harms all family members and the child too. A woman should have her own affairs, hobbies, favorite hobby. Indeed, thanks to self-realization, she has the opportunity not to focus only on duties, but to manifest herself as a person. That's what the concept of “lazy mom” includes. Anna Bykova emphasizes the need to release from the internal burden and feelings of guilt in front of the child for the fact that you do not have time to do something for him today. Do not be a perfectionist!
As you know, each of us should have our own personal space. Anna Bykova in her book insists that after the birth of the baby you need to continue to live your own life.
The balance between "can" and "not"
How to teach a child to obey you? There is some trick here. Having understood it, you will cease to be sad and endlessly complain about life. It is important to maintain an internal balance between prohibitions and joys. For example, if you do not allow something to your child, then this should sound reasoned. Do not put too many prohibitions, otherwise the baby will cease to take them seriously. As a compensation, always find a reason to please the child.
Nurturing confidence
Do you know a lot of people who truly value themselves as a person? Anna Bykova in her book notes the need to instill a sense of self-sufficiency in a child from an early age. This means that it is necessary to emphasize its strengths, in every possible way to praise and encourage in difficult situations. When he needs to make a choice, do not decide for the baby, let me take my own step. The development of self-confidence begins with the conscious behavior of the parents themselves.
That is how Anna Bykova speaks about the discovery of new opportunities and significant prospects. “An independent child, or How to become a“ lazy mom ”” is a book that every mom should read.