An indecisive person is a shy and doubting person who is very difficult to live in. Such people are embarrassed to interact with others. For this reason, they have a narrow circle of acquaintances and many secret desires that cannot be realized. Is it possible to overcome shyness and increase your self-esteem? What do I need to do? Answers in our article.
Definition
Who is an indecisive person? The definition of this concept is this: it is a shy person who is not able to make decisions independently. People of this kind of character all the time need to ask for advice from others. Indecisive persons are afraid of responsibility. Such fear extends not only to the field of work, but also to personal life.
A person who is afraid to make a mistake, asks others for advice and acts in accordance with decisions made by other people. Such a way of thinking is absurd, because no one can guarantee that the recommendation given by someone will be beneficial. But a similar method of shifting responsibility onto others' shoulders relieves a person of responsibility. If something goes wrong in life, then indecisive persons say that failure is not their fault, because the wrong decision was not the result of their intellectual activity, but the result of a hint from an outside individual.
Signs
What does an indecisive person look like? Such a person is easily distinguished from the crowd. A person behaves very modestly and tries to get lost behind the backs of other people. To better disguise himself, he prefers to wear clothes of discreet shades (gray or black). The look of such a person does not focus on anything specific. Talking with an indecisive person, you can notice that she will not look you in the eye, but somewhere in the distance.
Loves an indecisive man to hunch. His movements are constrained, unnatural, and sometimes too fussy. The person is trying to become invisible, so she will try to close herself from strangers. This is well seen in the gestures of an indecisive person. He will take closed poses, constantly crossing his arms and legs. So say the psychologists.
In addition, it can be noted that indecisive people step over from one foot to another before entering, for example, an office of an official, they sit with their knees together, while the women press their handbags on their chests.
Modesty is another sign of a shy person. Such a person will never prove something to someone or show. A person will try not to stand out from the crowd. Among indecisive people, there are often truly talented people, but they are afraid to demonstrate their abilities, because they are not sure that others will appreciate their talent.
All problems come from childhood
Why are some people confident in themselves, while others become indecisive? A person who is brought up in a normal family will grow into a worthy citizen without inferiority complexes. Unfortunately, many parents cannot raise their children normally, therefore, even out of the best wishes, they manage to impose a bunch of complexes on their children. For example, in a family where parents love to teach, instruct, and control everything, the child will grow modest and cramped. Why? Hyperopec will not allow the child to develop normally. The child will begin to love peace and quiet. Subsequently, he will be comfortable in his society, and not among other people.
Also, an indecisive person can grow out of a child, whom everyone always forbids. Such persons get used to constantly asking adults what they can and cannot do. Such a habit becomes second nature, it is subsequently very difficult to get rid of it.
Self attitude
An extremely indecisive person is a person with low self-esteem. Such an individual is sure that he is worse than others, therefore he cannot act freely and liberally. A person has to constantly think how to earn the love of others. But first you need to love yourself. It’s hard to convince someone that you are good if you yourself don’t believe it. There is nothing wrong with openly acknowledging your problem. In this case, it will be easier to get rid of it.
If an individual is aware that he is modest and uncertain, he needs to understand the nature of his complexes. You should take responsibility for your actions on yourself, and not shift them to society. Even if an individual makes decisions incorrectly, loving yourself from this is not worth less. An insecure person must understand that he is individual and unique. Another such person in the world does not exist. Therefore, you should be careful about yourself. And you can start with the introduction of a daily ritual. Approaching the mirror in the morning, you should smile at your reflection and thank your parents, God, the Universe for the fact that you are just the way you are.
Approval by
How to distinguish a confident person from a very indecisive person? If the individual constantly needs outside advice or he is waiting for the approval of others, then he has internal problems. A person who has a high self-esteem will love what he does. He will not have doubts about the correctness of his choice.
An indecisive person will ponder for a long time what to do and what to do. This does not apply to important decisions on which, for example, business success depends. You can’t act rashly here.
An indecisive person will always compare his opinion with what others are saying. If his opinion diverges from what others are saying, such an individual will reconsider his views. He will not defend them. Such logic is stupid. The individuality of a person is expressed in his actions. It makes no sense to please everyone. You can ask others for advice, but not for everyone, but only for those whom you consider competent in a particular issue. After listening to criticism, you do not need to blindly believe it. Think about whether you are really given good advice. Know how to listen to others, but do not follow blindly the advice of others, do not let others live in your place.
Why change
It is difficult to deal with your complexes, but you need to do this. An indecisive person is called modest and shy. Many encourage these qualities. But in fact, from uncertainty there are more problems than privileges. Why does a person need to change? To become strong and independent, to be able to do as you want yourself, and not someone else. It’s never too late to start a change. The sooner you start working on yourself, the better, because you will have more time to realize your desires.
Self confidence
Indecisive people ask for advice from others, even in small things. For example, what is better to cook for dinner, which blouse to choose, where to go to relax, what movie to watch. But is it necessary? After all, you will eat, dress, have fun, and not others. Why then choose what they like?
You can ask for advice only from the person who in life was able to reach certain heights, who has experience in any business. Of course, his tips are very important. They will help to avoid mistakes. In all other cases, focus on your tastes and preferences. Start building self-confidence. Psychologists give the following settings:
- Take charge of life into your own hands. Do not try to blame others for your failures. Make decisions yourself. Yes, sometimes they will be unsuccessful. But celebrating a victory is much nicer if you realize that it is completely yours.
- Expand your circle of acquaintances. The wider your social circle, the better. New people will bring about changes in your life. Thanks to this, you will change without applying titanic efforts.
- Love yourself. Never do what you do not want. Of course, this does not apply to duties that need to be performed, for example, activities with your own children, work activities, and so on. Nobody encourages you not to go to work, because you do not want to. Another thing if you do not like it. Then do not be afraid of change, look for a new vacancy.
Own way in life
Self-confidence comes to those people who know why they live. If you do not understand why you were born, it is difficult for you to become confident. Finding a vocation is sometimes very difficult, but that does not mean that you do not have one. Being engaged in an unloved affair all your life, you cannot feel good. A person who is unhappy with life will not be able to radiate confidence and optimism. But it is precisely these qualities that are fundamental to a person with good self-esteem. Try to understand that you must begin to respect yourself. For what? You yourself must find the answer to this question.