Drugs are a gigantic problem that can destroy human life in just a few years. The loss of money from the family budget, aggression, apathy, bouts of euphoria and joy, quarrels and assault - these are perhaps the key points that can describe the life of a woman with her addict husband. Psychology, active listening and other techniques from the brochure are relevant only if the patient is ready to change. As for the most neglected options, then in this case one should consider the option, if not escape, then of compulsory treatment, necessary for the return of a problem person to society.
Awareness of the problem and willingness to act
So, the spouse suspects her beloved of what he consumes. Perhaps the tantrum, as well as the accusations of breaking dishes and an emotional explosion, are unlikely to be productive at this stage. It is important to obtain undeniable evidence, after which you should become aware of the problem and prepare for its solution. It is worth remembering that far from every dope is injected into the body through a syringe, leaving noticeable traces of injections. A number of drugs are consumed through the nasopharynx, therefore, it is much more difficult to determine such a dependence by external signs.
Observation and anxiety
It is worth observing the behavior of the husband, to establish his current physical and moral condition. Most addicts have stages of euphoria and apathy, periods during which they have only two behaviors - causeless joy and sadness. Two things can never be done: impute guilt without evidence, and also blame and blame, trumpet at every corner about the problem of a loved one. This will make the addict husband deny everything, close himself, alone with the problem.
Definition of external signs
On this issue it is always worthwhile to consult with a specialist of a certain profile. However, if the addict husband (tips for addicted wives is given in this article) still uses dope, then it is possible to identify this. Of course, in such a delicate matter one cannot rely solely on one's hunch and it is necessary to double-check everything several times. However, it is worth paying attention to such moments:
- Loss of common savings, valuables. It is relevant only in the late stages of addiction, when the addict husband can no longer stop, and it is not possible to get money quickly and honestly.
- Differences in behavior. The emotional extremes of a drug addict are stunningly far from each other. He is practically not able to behave restrainedly under the influence of dope, but he is apathetic in the absence of it. For a healthy psyche, such frequent mood swings, as is noticeable in a drug addict husband, are uncharacteristic.
- Burst of activity, new acquaintances, feverish ideas. It is characteristic at the initial stage of dependence, when each successive dose gives the body a burst of activity for a rather long period. Oddly enough, an addict under the influence of some drugs at first is a successful businessman, an avid player, a generator of ideas.
- Appearance. The consequences of drug addiction are also changes in the appearance of the addicted. If the husband became a drug addict, most likely, he will lose weight, become “dented”, his eyes wander, a febrile blush appears, redness of the whites of the eyes.
Again, it is extremely important to prepare in advance and acquire evidence base before proceeding with any actions at all.
What you should not do
In each such situation, psychologists give different recommendations. At a certain point, restraint must be shown, while an avid drug addict must be talked tough and confidently. However, it is still possible to single out several recommendations that are extremely important and verified by the experience of psychoanalysts:
- No sane fault. There is no use blaming the addict. It is important to work on a solution to the problem, not just blame it. However, this does not mean that you need to indulge the whims of the addicted. It is possible that the patient refuses to change, then it will be most reasonable to look for the answer to the question of how to divorce the addict husband.
- There is help. It is completely possible to recover from addiction, but it depends on the patient.
- Joint problem solving. You should not solve all the problems for the addict. Having decided to return to society, he is ready for responsibility, it should be shifted to it gradually, showing confidence.
- No reproaches and emotional outbursts. The spouse in this case plays the role of an anchor. He is rock, unshakable and strong, and therefore can not show weakness.
At the same time, one should not forget about the soft, but confident pushing of the addicted to treatment. Sometimes it will have to be done by force.
Can a drug addict quit?
How many overweight people agree to go on a diet? And what percentage of them withstand all hardships? It is difficult to identify the exact answer to the question of whether you can quit on your own. It all depends on motivation, external factors, willpower. Unfortunately, this is almost always impossible. Relatives should keep the ward in a vise, soft, gentle, but very strong. If the addict is allowed to go on his own, moreover, do it during detoxification (withdrawal), then he is very likely to return to his past hobby.
Isolation and the problems that it causes
Most often, the answer to the question of what to do if the husband is a drug addict becomes isolation. Locking him in a room, depriving him of contacts with the outside world, saving him from friends and dealers, keeping him locked up until he comes to his senses - this is how the issue is resolved in the case of a neglected person. But what if the addict is a successful, young and intelligent man, father and husband? Maybe he tried out of curiosity and got hooked? Isolation will kill him, make him apathetic, tear him out of society and deprive him of the last chance of a cure. If the addict husband uses dope, but there are chances to save him, you should behave carefully.
How to do it right?
Patient elimination should be imperceptible, controlled, lively and permanent. The wife took her husband by the elbow, and the couple quickly walked away from the suspicious type who wanted to shake her beloved hand. The husband still works, but from home, and his wife curls nearby, supporting and watching that money does not disappear from the locked box. It is quite possible that on the road to healing you will have to give up everything superfluous: work, obligations to friends, career and hobbies. Of those options for how to behave with a drug addict husband at the stage of treatment, this is the best way, namely to be near.
That never changes
Unfortunately, this happens. When a drug addict husband first stole money from a family or raised a hand, he is unlikely to become a full member of society in the future. Often the wives of such addicts are ashamed to leave the family, taking their children and money. From a human and moral point of view, this is understandable and encouraging, but from a logical point of view, no. The first ones to suffer from addiction will be children. Sooner or later, the baby will either fall under the father’s hot hand, or ask a question about the dad’s strange powder or “medicine”. The younger generation should not grow up seeing a drug addict. If he succeeds in defeating his addiction and returning to life, then he will become an example of willpower, if not, a fallen and a renegade. But you need to know when there is something to fight for, and not try to convince your self in this.
Willingness and courage
For example, the recommendations of Joseph Callermannon, whose work is very informative in terms of the influence of a dependent on his family, are based on such principles. If the family is at a loss or, moreover, decides to intervene independently, then this battle has already been lost. Three things are important in the treatment of addiction above all: rigidity, understanding, willingness. The latter is expressed in moral preparation for the forced isolation of the addict for an indefinite period. In any case, at the first suspicion, the spouse is required to prepare not only herself, but the whole family for long-term treatment.
Stage of treatment
It is incredibly difficult to squeeze all stages into one classification. However, it is still possible to isolate a few, for example:
- Consultation. Provides a conscious trip to the doctor with a specific problem. This means that the patient is ready for intervention, if he is not aware of the problem, he is ready for decisive action.
- Intervention. There is both medical and psychological treatment. Often serious emotional problems lie behind the addiction, for example, the loss of a loved one in the past. It is important to resolve the root cause before the course is completed.
- Detoxification. The most difficult, but at the same time critical period. Among those who are wondering about how to part with a drug addict husband, unfortunately, the majority found the addict to re-take the dope. It is hard to quit, but it is much more difficult to resist a new dose.
- Rehabilitation. Inpatient treatment under the supervision of doctors and limited freedom of movement.
- Social adaptation. Gradual transition to responsibility, obligations, contact with family and trusted friends, return to work.
- Support. Even if a person refuses drugs on his own, one can never be 100% sure that he will not return to them again. The wrong question is: "How to get rid of the husband of a drug addict?" Such a statement is much more correct: "What needs to be done in order for a person to become the same?" Although sometimes you need to delete from your life someone who was previously loved, if drugs became everything for him.
It is worth noting that at each stage there is a control by doctors.
When to leave
A difficult decision to make is to doom yourself to grief and emotional breakdown, at least for the first time. Sometimes it’s worth fighting for a person when he can still come back. But then the door opens, and before his wife stands a stooped, haggard ex-husband with lost teeth, without a penny, but with a promise to change. Is it worth it to believe? Has he been treated before? Does he ask for a loan at the same time? Does such a father need children? Difficult questions, but they will have to be answered. As in the case of treatment, the spouse needs to be not just strong, but strong and restrained. Perhaps you need to give a second chance, but only this time take the initiative. Or, slam the door and never again remember the person who consciously refused to be different.