Sooner or later, almost all people face the problem of raising children. The approach to raising children is different for everyone. As they say: how many people - so many opinions. However, in psychology this issue has long been studied and a search is being made for the most suitable methods of education that contribute to the full development of the child.
What parenting styles are used by parents
As you know, experts identify four styles of parenting :
- authoritarian style (characterized by overly strict control by the parents, suppression of the initiative and the will of the child);
- democratic style (characterized by partnerships with the child, separation of powers, trust and soft control);
- conniving style (characterized by non-interference in the affairs of the child, excessive freedom and lack of control by the parents);
- chaotic style (characterized by the absence of a clear line of parental behavior, unsystematic and inadequate actions in relation to one situation).
It is believed that the best parenting style is democratic. But not so simple. After all, a child is not a robot with a given program, a child is a small person with his needs, characteristics and needs, therefore it is impossible to use only one style. Each child needs an individual approach.
Cons and pros of conniving style
This style has many disadvantages, including the following:
- parents do not give the child directions;
- there are practically no prohibitions and restrictions;
- lack of clear rules of conduct;
- emotional distance and coldness.
In the process of growth and development, the child needs adult control and intervention, as well as adult support and emotional communication, which parents who adhere to the conniving style cannot give. But nevertheless, as a child grows up, parental intervention should become less and less. Otherwise, what kind of independence can we talk about?
Starting from adolescence, the child must learn independence, as well as be responsible for his actions. Just from this age, it is simply necessary to include elements of an equitable style of upbringing, which become advantages (if used correctly):
- freedom of choice;
- recognition of the child’s right to independence and self-control;
- adjustment of outdated rules of conduct with a child;
- recognition of the teenager's right to intimacy and maintaining a certain distance in emotional relationships.
The combination of different styles in education
Teachers and psychologists have long come to the conclusion that adhering to only one style is almost impossible, since situations are different and require different effects. In reality, parents have to use elements from different styles, so we can safely talk about the combination of parenting styles.
An authoritarian and conniving style will be characterized by a balance between control and non-intervention. But since both of these styles presuppose emotional coldness and distance in relationships, when they are mixed, the child will remain deprived of intimacy and trusting relationships.
If you combine a democratic and conniving style, then against the background of partnerships and trust, control by the parents can decrease. This is good in adolescence, but undesirable with young children.
Which parenting style is better?
This question is almost impossible to answer, because all parents and children are different. Each family is individual, therefore it is necessary to form an individual style of upbringing, which will be both stable and capable of development and improvement.
Undoubtedly, parenting requires a lot of time and effort from parents. But looking at his healthy, happy and successful child, no parent will spare the energy expended. After all, the dream of any parent is that his child be a full-fledged personality.