A person from early childhood is surrounded by other people. However, nevertheless, for many people, contact with society is often a source of problems. It would seem that if we constantly communicate with our environment, we should not have any fears of people. But for some reason, before public speaking, the need for important meetings at work and in a number of other similar situations, when we need to prove ourselves, it turns out that we are not ready for this. How to overcome your fear? How to become self-confident?
In some cases, fears can be explained by some painful phenomena that affect the psyche, becoming sources of social phobias, when a person does not want to leave home at all, is afraid of communicating with other people. But such cases are quite rare.
A completely different situation is when a person is healthy, but for certain reasons experiences certain difficulties in social contacts. For example, a person is confident in his own rightness, but is not able to defend his point of view. Others do not know how to express feelings so that they are understandable to people close to him. Some, due to their own modesty and heightened sense of tact, are afraid to establish contact with a person who they like. It is as if something is holding them back from the inside, not allowing them to build social relations. Someone depends on the opinions of others, is afraid of evaluative views and therefore keeps all the time in the shadows, although secretly dreams of being a leader. Over time, such problems can lead to bitterness, resentment at the world, and closure in the “case”. Why it happens? How to overcome the fear of communication?
The paradox is that avoiding communication for the sake of one’s own fears is not a protective mechanism. Only at first glance does it seem that closure in one's own world makes life calmer. This is actually not the case.
Human nature is selfish. If the environment feels your fears, then in most cases, instead of help from it, you can only wait for self-affirmation at the expense of the “modest”. Of course, there are units of Samaritans who are able to show sympathy and lend a hand if they see that someone needs it. But, as a rule, people are “predators”. Therefore, you need to protect yourself from them yourself. So, how to overcome fear and fight back in a difficult situation?
Self-doubt in many is brought up from childhood: strict parents, incomprehensible teachers do (albeit unconsciously) a lot to break the child’s personality, they require submission. Fears live in most people.
You can overcome fear without resorting to external help. For this you do not need a psychologist, you can even do without the "vests" of friends and relatives.
To get rid of fears and gain self-confidence, you will need to practice (or exercise). Success in sports depends on muscle mass and the refinement of skills. Also in everyday life, training will be required to succeed. Therefore, communicate as much as possible, even if you do not feel the need for it. Travel companions, sellers in the store, neighbors - all can become "simulators" to develop your confidence and get rid of fears. So you will quickly understand how to overcome fear, and you can deal with it.
In the process of communication, concentrate on your interlocutor and his external behavior, not trying to understand what he thinks, how he perceives you, and what impression you make on him. You need to learn how to focus on external communication, to prohibit yourself "internal monologues-reasoning", which give rise to the notorious fears. This will allow you to see the reaction of the interlocutor, to understand what he means. In addition, this way you can find inner balance and get rid of physiological problems in communication (dry throat, stuttering, sweat on the forehead) and psychological (you will not forget what you need to say and get lost).
You can also resort to the tried and tested method of visualizing your fears - make a written list, then burn it. This will be a psychological release from what has scared you before. Only after gaining inner freedom and starting to communicate on equal terms, you will understand how to overcome fear.