The porcupine dilemma is a parabola, which was first expressed in his work “ Parerga und Paralipomena” in 1851 by the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. In this work, the philosopher shows the essence of the relationship between man and society. Let's get to know closer the ideas of Schopenhauer.
"Parerga and Chronicles"
The porcupine dilemma, or, as it is also called, the hedgehog dilemma, is formulated by Schopenhauer through the story below.
Once, on an early cold morning, several hedgehogs appeared on the street. After a while, they felt cold and they began to approach each other, as they felt the warmth of their neighbor. As a result of this rapprochement, the hedgehogs warmed up, so they sought to get closer even more. However, at some point they began to be so close that their needles began to prick each other. Feeling pain on his body, the hedgehogs began to move away again. But they could not be too far, because they could freeze from the cold. As a result, by trial and error, all the hedgehogs were arranged in this way relative to their neighbors, which was warm enough for them, but the needles did not prick them too much.
Analogy in love relationships
The dilemma of porcupines presented in Schopenhauer's work accurately reflects the essence of love relationships. The fact is that a person is a social creature, he cannot live alone, therefore he is constantly looking for someone with whom he can share his thoughts, feelings, care and love. As soon as he finds such a person, he tries by all means to get closer to him, to trust him. He feels that this person makes him more fun, happier, makes him forget about many problems, in the end makes life itself more colorful, fills it with meaning. However, the closer he gets closer to the one who gives him warmth, the more defenseless he looks in front of him, which means that there is an increased likelihood of receiving a “painful prick with spikes”.
As a rule, this happens, after a series of mistakes, getting closer and moving away with different people, a person realizes that it is necessary to keep some optimal distance in love relationships. Maintaining an optimal and mutually beneficial distance is the answer to the question of what are the essence of porcupine dilemmas.
Dilemma and real relationship
If we apply the idea of Schopenhauer to real relationships, then we can say that in the initial stages of the formation of love relationships, it is love, which is reflected in words, actions, caring for each other and mutual support, that is the warmth that every hedgehog needed so much.
Over time, the so-called "flower-candy" period passes, and harsh everyday life sets in, which slowly "eat up" the original love. Many actions and words on the part of one or the other partner begin to bring not only pleasure and joy, but also pain and disappointment, that is, the same situation occurs as in the case of prickly needles of hedgehogs. But why do people still stay together and make efforts to maintain their relationship and their union?
The answer to this question from the point of view of psychology lies in the fear that people experience when they are alone. That is, the original and promise of a happy life love is transformed and replaced precisely by the fear of losing each other, despite the fact that the relationship is not ideal and perfect.
In other words, a person chooses the optimal situation for himself, in which he prefers to live with "needles" in a relationship than to die from the "cold" of loneliness. It is appropriate to quote the words of the American writer Vernon Maclellan: "There are some needles (thorns) in marriage, but there are no roses at all in solitude."
Modern psychological research
Schopenhauer's "porcupines" aroused great interest among modern psychologists, who, led by John Maner, decided to conduct a study, wondering how people build their behavior after they were rejected to some extent by society. The results of this study were as follows: pessimistic people after "pricked on thorns" become relative ascetics, for those same people who have optimistic outlooks on life, the fact of their rejection by society provokes an even greater desire to get closer to other people.
In addition to the topic of the porcupine dilemma, it should be said that Arthur Schopenhauer himself was distinguished by egoism and pessimism. In his life, it is difficult to meet manifestations of love for other people. He was kind to animals only.