Self - doubt is a problem that has existed at all times, since there have always been indecisive people in society. This situation causes a lot of trouble, but, on the other hand, it becomes an occasion for the further development of the personality. Let's look at this emotional state of a person, find out the cause of its occurrence and ways that return faith in yourself.
Self-doubt problem
Weak and insecure nature becomes a real puppet, which can easily be controlled by stronger personalities. It is enough for such a person to inform about the absurdity of his actions, and he, without hesitation, redo what was begun. This ancient problem of self-doubt prevents the achievement of goals, as the person underestimates his abilities and is afraid to take a decisive step. Thus, the opportunity to enter a prestigious university or make new friends is lost.
An insecure individual is far from always calm. He can behave quite aggressively towards others in order to compensate for his inferiority complex. For this reason, a person often uses physical force in relation to weak people.
Cause of uncertainty
In each psychological theory, there are different versions of the appearance of uncertainty. According to Albert Bandura (Canadian psychologist), this feeling arises even in childhood as a result of a child copying patterns of behavior of others. Also, if parents often told their baby about the low level of development of his mental abilities, he begins to believe in it. Over the years, the imposed opinion is supported by failures in life, the rude behavior of people around and many others.
Martin Seligman (American scientist) explains the causes of uncertainty by the fact that not only adult behavior, but also the reaction of others influences the personality of the child. This interaction determines the positive or negative development of the personality (learned helplessness).
The ancient problem of self-doubt is explained by the lack of results from human activity. It arises due to low self-esteem, formed from a huge number of negative opinions of parents, teachers, friends. All this seriously reduces social initiative and creates negative emotions.
All the considered causes of the inferiority complex are formed in the process of development and formation of personality. Each person, when born, is endowed with mental and physical disabilities, which can complicate or facilitate socialization, but do not determine the level of self-confidence.
Positive side
Psychologists believe that such a character trait protects a person from negative encounters with the outside world. Over time, uncertainty turns into a high level of anxiety, and builds a psychological barrier within which a safe territory of a person is located.
Self-doubt. Signs
The main signal about the loss of self-confidence is that a person does not try to achieve his goal only because he is afraid to try. Perhaps he had previously convinced himself of failure and was afraid of ridicule, resentment and defeat. If you belong to the category of such people, remember: everyone had mistakes, but to take a decisive step, you need character. Better to fail than to do nothing. Too cautious people lose their self-confidence just because they have no achievements.
The second sign that the virus of uncertainty has visited you is embellishment of reality. The desire to tell a lie is due to the fact that the individual is trying to make a good impression on other people and shows himself allegedly on the positive side. The thing is that he has no other way to make others respect him, but self-respect is lost from such a lie.
The third signal is low self-esteem. This problem is common among adolescents. In this case, it should be understood that in every person there are many shortcomings, but if you constantly look for them in yourself, you will constantly belittle yourself. It is urgent to stop this, otherwise the ancient problem of self-doubt will never be solved!
The fourth sign is the desire to be like everyone else, because the arguments of others seem more convincing than their own. To gain self-confidence requires approval from others. This leads to the emergence of such bad habits as smoking, drinking alcohol and even drugs. Conclusion: weakness can be harmful.
The fifth signal indicating a negative emotional state is a desire to be like another person (behavior, image, appearance). This is what psychology reports about: self-doubt arises when a person seeks to compare himself with others. Thus, she gives others more importance than herself. If you constantly look for yourself an idol, the individual will change all the time and will remain perplexed, as the standards change. For this reason, a person will forever remain insecure! Self-esteem is only possible with the realization that each of us is unique.
Self-doubt Problem: Arguments
Recognizing a timid person is very simple by certain manners of behavior and communication:
- insecure people deny compliments and joyful events, considering them an accident;
- individuals who do not have faith in themselves always try to justify themselves if they look good;
- the category of people in question always makes their own judgments in the form of doubt, using the phrases “Do you?”, “Do you agree with me?” etc.;
- they attribute their own merits to another person, for example: "Yes, I only helped a little, the main work was done by Marya Ivanovna";
- insecure people think negatively of themselves and believe that they can’t do anything, they always spoil everything, etc.
If such thoughts come to you, drive them away, otherwise the feeling of insecurity will increase over time. Remember your victories and do not focus on defeats.
10 ways to overcome shyness
Want to change, but don’t know how? Simple recommendations will help to solve the problem.
- Keep a separate diary and record in it all your achievements, even the most insignificant.
- Do not criticize yourself for various mistakes and weaknesses, including the smallest ones. Use the phrases “I’m still well done, I tried,” “It's okay, another time I’ll surely succeed”, etc.
- Do not focus on negative thoughts and cases, learn to draw conclusions, and then discard events that do not fundamentally change your life.
- Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that ideal people do not exist.
- Make yourself, for example, the following settings: “I can”, “Next time I will do better”, “Today I will have a wonderful day.”
- Do not be shy about compliments and answer them with sincere “thank you”.
- When communicating with people, tell them more than pleasant. They will also begin to see positive aspects in you.
- Surround yourself with cheerful and good friends, they will surely make you happy.
- Watch your gait: it should be calm and confident, walk with your head always raised.
- Smile more often and think positively about your future.
You will be happy surrounded by positive people, and the ancient problem of self-doubt makes you not only miserable, but also your loved ones. Work on yourself, then joy, independence, the ability to solve problems,
faith in yourself and much more will become your reward.