It is important for people to love and respect themselves. This is not about narcissism or egoism. To love yourself is to believe in the strength of your spirit. A man, satisfied with himself, knows that he has a goal and is trying in every possible way to achieve it. Taking all your pros and cons, making friends with yourself is not so easy as it seems at first glance. To do this, you need to achieve harmony. It is she who fills human life with happiness. Learn psychologist's advice on how to start loving and respecting yourself. If you are ready to work on yourself and change, then go ahead!
What does it mean to love yourself?
If a person loves himself, then he is comfortable alone with himself and in company. He is confident in his abilities, takes all decisions independently. Such a person knows which way to go, respects his mistakes.
To get started, take a look at yourself from the side. Treat yourself as a good friend. Not sure how to start loving yourself beloved? It is not that difficult. First, on a piece of paper, make a list of what you call love. For some, this list includes the following items:
- take care of yourself;
- please yourself with trifles;
- reassure in difficult situations;
- strive for spiritual and professional growth;
- Do not deprive yourself of praise.
Performing the above tasks is very important. Additionally, you can recall a healthy lifestyle, appearance. Proper nutrition, active rest, adequate care for the body, hair, teeth make a person attractive and increase his self-esteem.
Your level of self-esteem
How to start self-esteem, how to start loving yourself? The advice of psychologists is aimed at performing one simple exercise. To do this, you need a blank sheet of paper and a pen. From one corner of the sheet to another draw a line. After that, put a point on it that would be associated with your vision of yourself. The interpretation of the results of such a test is as follows:
- If you put a mark close to the middle of the line, then differ in the optimal level of self-esteem. You clearly love yourself, but reckon with the opinions of others.
- If you were inspired to put an end to the top of the line, then you have too high self-esteem. You do not just love, but adore yourself. Do not forget about the feelings of others.
- The dot you put below the line indicates an undervaluation. You too listen to the opinions of others, almost do not value yourself.
The latest test result stimulates a change in this situation. How to start loving yourself again? Then you will find effective advice from psychologists.
Negativity and criticism are the worst enemies
Everyone has heard that thoughts are material. It is very important to think positively. Catch yourself on every negative thought, switch to the right track. How to do it? Here are the tips from psychologists:
- Do not engage in self-discipline, stop criticizing yourself. All people make mistakes, so respect yourself and accept with all the flaws.
- Release all past gaps and grievances, forgive everyone and yourself, including. Analyze all your mistakes and learn from it.
- Think of yourself in a positive way. Focus on the positive sides to cultivate and develop them. Feel yourself a kind and positive person, even with small flaws.
- Be responsible for everything that happens to you, do not blame anyone for anything. Learn to control your perception. Remember, the choice is always yours, any situation can be changed. Your life is in your hands!
You need to change your thinking gradually, do not boil. If you were a big self-critic, then you will need time to become a self-sufficient person.
Change theory with practice
It is not enough to have theoretical information, do not forget about the practical direction. For this, psychologists recommend performing very interesting exercises that will help to perceive themselves together.
1. " Reflect on yourself ."
Answer the following questions honestly:
- Who you are? (Indicate gender, age, profession and type of activity).
- What are you satisfied with and unhappy about yourself?
- Do you have any achievements worthy of pride?
- What are you striving for?
- What are your best skills?
- What do others notice in you good and bad?
- The reasons for your failures?
This exercise leads to self-knowledge, will help determine all the pros and cons.
2. " Strengths and weaknesses ."
Take a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Draw a vertical line on it in the middle. On the one hand, write down all your advantages, on the other hand, drawbacks. Reread carefully all the specified data. Then tear off half of the sheet with the listed minuses, doubt and discard. Try to re-read the saved scrap with advantages as often as possible. If additions suddenly appear, feel free to include them in your strengths. You can record even the smallest victories. Over time, self-love will begin to develop.
3. " I am not the same as yesterday."
Do not put yourself in opposition to other people. Observe everything good and bad for yourself, fix it. In the evening, check your notes and compare with previous ones, analyze. If you yourself notice the dynamics of change, then this will be a great stimulation. Respect yourself, confess your love!
Daily work on yourself
If you want to learn the philosophy of how to start loving yourself, then remember the regularity of your actions. After waking up and at night, mentally wish yourself well. Start the day with a greeting, praise yourself, wish good night. Such a simple ritual will accustom your consciousness to a positive attitude towards your personality. Soon you will not notice how you begin to love yourself.
Try talking with your reflection in the mirror. Smile, say a few meritorious phrases addressed to you. Women can imagine themselves as the heroine of the film "The most charming and attractive." Say approving phrases: "I like myself, I am attractive and sweet, I like men." After a while, you will notice the effectiveness of this exercise.
Do not forget about small gifts and surprises. It can be some kind of accessory, cosmetic or wardrobe item. Do not forget to take care of the body. Exercise, eat right. A beautiful body is another reason to be proud of yourself.
Basic steps to get rid of uncertainty
So, after learning how to start loving yourself, follow these steps:
- Chat with friends, visit friends, meet new interesting people. Regular communication will contribute to self-confidence.
- Keep track of your figure and appearance. Put yourself in order every day. A tidy and tidy person is respected.
- Do not compare yourself with others, especially if they are superior to you in something. You also have your zest.
- Share your achievements with friends and family. Even a small victory deserves praise.
- Try to go out into public places more often.
- Improve your personality every day.
- Selfies or photo shoots will give you confidence.
- Get new things that will delight you. This is not only about expensive clothes, it is important that things bring pleasure.
Get rid of the role of the victim and learn to forgive
Happiness is within you. Some problems from early childhood do not allow a person to learn how to start loving and respecting oneself. The advice of psychologists only proves that sometimes parents in the desire to raise a well-educated person humiliate and offend their child. This does not mean that you need to keep the grudge for life.
The highest degree of humanity is forgiveness. Forgive everyone and yourself, including. Know that in some cases, fear and lack of enlightenment direct people’s actions. If you are tormented by resentment and pain, then forgive the offenders mentally. Release the situation. It is impossible to correct the mistakes of the past; try to make your future happy.
Self-love and selfishness: what is the difference?
Many people confuse love and self-esteem with selfishness. On the contrary, without loving yourself, you will not love others. To increase self-esteem and not to go beyond the line of selfishness, remember the following tips:
- People are imperfect, everyone can make mistakes, do not demand too much from others.
- Be frank with your neighbors, express your wishes and disagreements.
- Consider the opinions of others, but always have your own point of view.
- Accept people for who they are, do not try to change them.
Always remember that change takes time. Start your journey in small steps to achieve the goal!
Books "How to start loving yourself?"
There are so many books that will help you do auto-training and feel happy. Many were guided by Dale Carnegie’s great book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It helps to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, to combat shyness and indecision. The main postulate of this book: "love yourself - and life will love you!"
Many are familiar with the books of the famous doctor Kurpatov. One of them is called "12 non-trivial decisions. To find peace in your soul." She gives many practical and useful tips on how to accept yourself with all the shortcomings.
More than 30 books devoted to psychology by Louise Hay. One of them is "Love yourself. Trust your life." The author has formulated 10 ways to become happy.
Many have heard of family psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, who is the most expensive and sought-after specialist in Moscow. He has a book, "Love yourself with any appearance." The author gives a lot of advice on improving self-esteem. All these works are united by one important piece of advice - you must feel your worth!