Based on personal research, the American psychologist developed the theory of "5 stages of accepting the inevitable." Elizabeth Kübler-Ross described her in her book On Death and Dying (1969). Initially, this theory dealt with the topic of the departure of loved ones and was a division of the state of the grieving person into periods.
The effectiveness of the concept entailed the transformation of its original purpose, depending on various difficult life situations. They can be the following: divorce, illness, injury, material damage, etc.
The first stage, characterized by negation
If a person finds out about his illness or serious illness of people close to him, then this is followed by a state of shock. The information is heavy and unexpected, so denial occurs. The man believes that this could not happen to him, refuses to believe in his involvement. He tries to isolate himself from the situation, pretend that everything is normal, and also closes in on himself, refuses to talk about the problem. These are signs of the first stage of the 5 stages of making the inevitable.
Such behavior can be conscious or not, but it is caused by the lack of faith in the tragedy that happened. A person is engaged in the maximum suppression of his feelings and emotions. And when it is no longer possible to restrain them, he enters the next stage of grief.
Stage Two: Rage
A man is angry that his fate is cruel and unfair: he can be angry with himself, the people around him and the current situation in its abstract representation. It is very important to treat him with gentleness and patience, because the cause of such behavior is grief. This is the second stage of the 5 stages of making the inevitable.
Human psychology consists in a gradual awareness and perception of the situation, which is accompanied by a wear of disguise and a repetition of pain. He does not feel that he is ready for what has happened, therefore he is enraged: he is angry with other people, with objects around him, family members, friends, God, his activities. In fact, the victim of circumstances has an understanding of the innocence of others, but it becomes impossible to come to terms with this. Chagrin is a purely personal process and each one proceeds individually.
Third stage
For this period, it is typical to remain in the naive and desperate hope that all troubles will disappear, and that life will again become the same. If the experience is connected with the breakdown of relations, then staying at this stage comes down to trying to reach an agreement with a former partner, to pleading for a last chance or friendship.
A person makes helpless attempts to take control of a situation. It comes down to the phrase "if we ...":
- ... got to another specialist;
- ... did not go there;
- ... did it;
- ... took the advice of a friend, etc.
Noteworthy is the desire to conclude a deal with higher powers, as well as promise and repent in the name of extending the inevitable. A person can begin to look for some signs of fate, to believe in signs. For example, if you make a wish, open any page of the book and without looking to indicate an arbitrary word that turns out to be affirmative, then the troubles will go away on their own.
Depression - the fourth stage
A person is in a state of complete hopelessness, as he already understands the meaninglessness of the efforts spent to make a difference. His hands fall, his life loses its meaning, all expectations turn into disappointments.
In case of loss, two types of depression are manifested:
- Regret and sadness that arise in relation to mourning. This period is easier to sustain if there is a person nearby who is able to support.
- Preparing to let go of an event that is a purely individual process. This period can stretch for a very long time and provoke problems with health and with others.
This is the fourth stage of the 5 stages of accepting the inevitable.
Acceptance of an event
At the final stage, a person is able to experience relief. He admits that grief happened in life, he agrees to come to terms with this and continue on his way. Each person has a special experience of these stages, but it happens that the stages are not in the indicated sequence. A certain period can take only half an hour, completely disappear or be worked out for a very long time. Such things happen purely individually.
Acceptance is the final stage, the end of torment and suffering. Surprise greatly complicates the realization of grief afterwards. It often turns out that the forces to accept the situation are completely absent. At the same time, there is no need to show courage, since as a result you need to submit to fate and circumstances, let everything through yourself and find peace. Not every person is able to go through all five stages of accepting the inevitable.
The fifth stage is very personal and special, because no one is able to save a person from suffering, except for himself. Other people can support in a difficult period, but they do not fully understand other people's feelings and emotions.
The 5 stages of accepting the inevitable are purely personal experiences and the experience that transforms a personality: breaks it, leaves it forever in one of the stages, or makes it stronger. Do not run away and hide from grief, you need to realize it. It is recommended to imagine how it flows through the body. The result is the removal of the lock, accelerating the transition to the last level and the healing process. These 5 stages of accepting the inevitable are designed to show people experiencing hardships what is happening to them.