Do you think you are a bad mother? Why do you think so? Perhaps someone you know is trying to reproach you with something, or you yourself understand that you are not giving your child enough time. In any case, reconsider the attitude towards your child. How to do it right? Read below.
Spend more time with your child
Do you call yourself a bad mother? Psychologists say that women who spend a lot of time with their child are a priori good mothers. Although they don’t always know what to do, they don’t always bring up the right way, but they love their baby, support him and, if necessary, are always ready to give him their protection. That is what you need to become a mother. Try to spend as much time as possible with your child. Keep abreast of his interests, meet his friends and more often go out with his whole family to barbecue. In the evening, do not sit in front of the TV screen, but rather do something useful and exciting, for example, draw with the baby or do a joint craft. At work, you can get to know your child better, and also instill in your child the skill of hard work.
Do not be afraid to show your love
How often do you kiss your child, and how often do you hug your child? If you are looking for an answer to the question of how to become a good mother, then you need to show more tenderness in relation to your baby. Many women are afraid to spoil a child and make him a sissy or a sissy. Do not be afraid of such consequences. With proper upbringing, the manifestations of love will only show the child the sincerity of your feelings and in no way spoil the child. And if you do not kiss the child, hug him and speak sweet words to him, then the baby can grow up with a complex of lack of love. Mom should first show the child that he is the main miracle that she has. And only secondarily should a woman be a strict educator who, by the will of fate, needs to raise a worthy member of society. Show more love and then you will grow up a healthy and happy child.
Listen to the heart, not others
People always talk a lot. "I am a bad mother!" - these are the thoughts of a woman who is strongly pressured by society. Neighbors, friends and parents will always dictate to you how to live properly and how to raise children. You can listen to such statements, but be sure to filter the information. Among her will be not only bright thoughts, but also envy and resentment. People can tell you nasty things only for the reason that they admire you and cannot realize how you manage to keep up with everything, but they don’t. So the next time a neighbor says that you are a bad mother, because your house is too tidy, just keep silent and transform the negative into a positive form. You are a good housewife, who manages not only to do the house, but also finds time for the child and husband. Listen to your heart and do as it tells you. Ignore gossip and slander.
Do not raise your voice on the baby
The thought often rises in your head: "I am a bad mother, I am screaming at children"? So what prevents you from giving up a bad habit? If the fact that you perceive childish pranks is too close to your heart does not give you rest, then stop doing this. You should learn how to cool and purify your consciousness quickly. Do meditation or practice any breathing exercises. The next time the baby pisses you off, calm down first and then react. Remember that not one baby will deliberately rub their nerves with their parents. Even teenagers will not be engaged in such an occupation. Any consequence has a reason. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is dissatisfied with something or doesn’t like something. Try to understand what exactly needs to be done to calm the child. Understand that screaming will never help you solve problems. Try to reason logically and do not let emotions turn off the mind.
Do not use corporal punishment
You cannot beat a child in any situation. You should not even threaten the child with a belt. Why? A child must from an early age understand that all issues can be resolved culturally, without swearing and assault. A thought like “what to do, I’m a bad mother,” is heard in many women who hit a child. In such a situation, the only thing that remains is to ask the child for forgiveness and say that you will not do this anymore. It should also be mentioned that using force to solve problems is bad and ugly. And you can’t do that. Such speeches made during the child's life will be a kind of promise to you that you will no longer use force. And the next time you want to hit a child, remember what you said to your baby. Parents should be responsible for their words. Therefore, if you gave your word to the baby that you won’t hit him again, don’t beat him.
Develop your child intellectually and physically
No need to cheat yourself. Try to get rid of all the negative thoughts that swarm through your head. "I am a bad mother!" - a similar phrase pops out of the lips of every second woman. Remember that thoughts are material. Therefore, do not say stupid things and instead of complaining about your life, better help your child improve his existence. How to do it? To become a good mother, you must help realize the potential inherent in the baby. How to do it? Look at the natural inclinations of the child and help him develop them. If the kid dances well, then take him to the dance section, if the child has artistic talent, then send the kid to an art school. You need to help not only young children, but also adolescents. If at the age of 15 the child has expressed a desire to learn to play the guitar, do not tell him that it is too late for him to go to music school. Better hire a tutor. Help the child and support him in all endeavors. Then the baby will love you and all his life will be grateful that you gave him the opportunity to realize the potential inherent in him.
Do not put bans without explanation
Never, under any circumstances, say no to your child without explaining why you said so. Otherwise, you will kill the research potential and the desire to look for workarounds in difficult situations. Instead of repeating: “Yes, I’m bad and I don’t allow you to do this”, better tell us why you are forbidding something. When the prohibitions are justified, the baby will not want to violate them. For example, tell us that you can’t dip your fingers in hot tea, because it will hurt. Give your baby the opportunity to check your ban. And when the child burns his fingers, do not spare the child, but tell him that you warned him. After violation of such two or three prohibitions, the child will no longer want to check the limits of what is allowed.
A bad mother never explains anything to a child. If you follow this logic, then grow yourself a malleable robot who will not have his own opinion, and will not have the desire to learn and improve. Therefore, do not kill the initiative, but redirect it to another, useful channel.
Do not pamper your child
What can a bad mother do with her baby? Do you think beat him? Nothing like this. A spoiled tomboy is much more dangerous for society than a slaughtered sissy. Do not go to extremes and do not educate your child within the framework of permissiveness. There should be logical inhibitions and the child should understand why he should not do this or that. You should not buy all the toys that the baby wants to have, even if you have the financial ability to purchase them. It is necessary to raise a child in the spirit of the fact that money is not some kind of pieces of paper, but the equivalent of human labor. The kid should understand that pleasure can be obtained not only from material values, but also not from material things. Proper education will help the mother to get rid of a sense of inferiority, and will also make it possible to avoid many problems in adolescence.
Talk more with your child
A bad mother rarely pays attention to her child. Becoming a good mom is easy. Talk to your baby more often. Ask the child how he is doing, ask how the day went and what was interesting in the kindergarten and school. But in addition to asking the right questions, you must also be able to listen to the answers. So you can create a trusting relationship with your child. Parents should be not only mentors, but also friends for the child. It is to the mother that the baby should come for advice, and not just for comfort. Trust can be achieved by supporting, understanding, approving, and encouraging the child.