Learning to influence other people is not easy. However, knowledge of the intricacies of psychology will help you learn how to do this. It will take a lot of practice, but in the end, the behavior that we recommend adhering to in this article will become your habit. So how to influence a person?
There are many ways. However, the most effective advice to his readers was given by Dale Carnegie. How to influence people, he said in his book "How to make friends ...". This is the most famous book of the famous writer and speaker. The advice he gives is very valuable. We will also discuss most of his recommendations.
Can people be manipulated?
Of course you can. However, it is important to consider: you will not succeed in hypnotizing the right person. But it is quite possible to convince. And the highest degree of mastery is to make him believe that he himself made this decision. How to achieve this? First of all, you should build a relationship based on mutual sympathy. Confident people with eloquence and sincerity always enlist the support of others.
Before you begin to practice influencing other people, consider why you need it. You need a specific goal. Without it, you are unlikely to succeed in this field.
Smile is our everything
She disposes of interlocutors to each other. She demonstrates friendliness and willingness to cooperate. We unconsciously have sympathy for those who greet us with a smile. And in response, we start to smile just as contagious. And the smile should be sincere. People on a subconscious level recognize falsity.
In addition, a sincere smile affects your emotional state and significantly improves your mood. It reduces stress and stimulates mental activity. So smile as often as possible.
Approval, not criticism
Dale Carnegie notes that the desire of people to receive praise from others is very great. Therefore, if you want to achieve someone’s disposition and willingness to provide services, you should show yourself to be a man who is grateful and generous to praise, and not prone to criticism.
Thus, in his youth, Abraham Lincoln often ridiculed his opponents. Until one of the offended people challenged him to a duel. Since then, Abraham has learned to tolerate the flaws of others. During the Civil War, when his associates spoke sharply about southerners, he even remarked: "Do not criticize them. In such circumstances, we would be exactly the same."
It requires a strong character and even the ability to empathy, so as not to judge others and forgive them of mistakes and imperfections. Never criticize anyone, especially in the company of other people.
Learn to sincerely praise people, often give thanks and apologize if necessary. To achieve sincerity towards others will help a certain way of thinking. The poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson argued that every person he met surpasses him in something. And you always need to be prepared to consider these virtues and recognize them.
Get involved and interested
Benjamin Disraeli once said: "Talk to the person about him, and he will listen to you for hours."
People are primarily interested in themselves, so they are always pleased to meet a person who shares this interest. Psychologists advise less talk and more listen. One who does not know how to listen and constantly talks about himself is an egoist who cannot evoke positive emotions from others.
Frequently ask the interlocutor questions on topics of interest to him and nod sympathetically in response to his remarks. Sigmund Freud was able to show his interest in the interlocutor so skillfully that he relaxed and talked about all his secret experiences.
Theodore Roosevelt carefully prepared before meeting a new acquaintance - he studied his hobbies, as he understood that the path to a person’s heart lies through a discussion of his interests. Moreover, he also set aside time to chat with the staff and learn more about each person. He knew the names of all the servants. The latter treated him with great sympathy. He showed people that he appreciated them - and in return received much more.
Call by name more often
The sound of your own name is pleasant to everyone. Dale Carnegie believed that it is part of the personality and as if confirms the fact of its existence. This makes the interlocutor feel positive emotions towards the one who pronounces his name.
Dale Carnegie also advises you to remember (or better record) important information about the right people. For example, date of birth, marital status, number of children. This will help to achieve the location of the person and have a significant impact on him if necessary.
Avoid disputes
It is said that truth is born in a dispute. However, psychologists argue that in practice, each opponent remains unconvinced. Therefore, in fact, the dispute is an absolutely useless waste of time and effort.
Arguing, you are trying to prove to a person that he is wrong. That is, you consider yourself significantly smarter and more experienced than him in this matter. And even if it is, you are humiliating the dignity of another person.
As a result, a conflictogen arises on both sides, which easily develops into a conflict situation. And he will not lead to anything good. However, you will part as enemies.
Dale Carnegie, explaining how to influence a person, advises not to engage in polemics at all. Of course, you can also express your opinion. However, be sure to add that this is only your point of view. At the same time, Carnegie advises to consider in more detail the opinion of another person before proving the opposite with foam at the mouth.
However, if a dispute is inevitable, try to remain calm and confident. Before you talk, carefully consider your own arguments. Your opinion should be confirmed by facts that the interlocutor cannot refute. Only in this case will you win this controversy.
Admit Your Mistakes
Dale Carnegie advises learning to admit your own wrong. And you need to do this before the interlocutor points you to it. Accept your mistake quickly and decisively. Thus, you will satisfy the interlocutor's pride, and a little later he will decide to show leniency and generously forgive you.
Carnegie himself once applied his tactics to the servant of the law. He found him walking with a dog in a park without a muzzle. However, Dale did not allow him to be charged, sincerely assuring that he was very sorry for his misconduct and would not do so again. As a result, the policeman released him without a fine. Yes, and you must admit that criticizing yourself is much nicer than letting others do it.
Take advantage of your opponent’s weakness
Please note that a tired person is more susceptible to the arguments or beliefs of the interlocutor. The thing is that fatigue affects the level of mental energy, reducing it. If you ask a tired person for a favor, you are likely to get the following answer: “Okay, I'll do it tomorrow.” The good news is that he is very likely to do so. After all, people who do not fulfill their promises suffer from psychological discomfort.
If you need to ask a person for a favor, it would be useful to apply the rule of three "yes." The first few of your remarks should cause the interlocutor to want to agree with you. For example: "What a beautiful tie! Probably a branded thing?". After two affirmative remarks, your interlocutor will agree to fulfill any of your requests.
Reflect
Repeat often after the interlocutor his own words, but in a different context. This will cause a flash of friendly disposition towards you. A similar technique is most often used by psychotherapists.
Moreover, many people in communication begin to subconsciously copy the interlocutor’s behavior, his facial expressions and gestures. This is what influence people have on others. However, this can be done for a specific purpose. After all, people tend to be sympathetic to those who are similar to them.
Influence on others through intonation
Human activity is influenced by his subconscious. You only need to get to it, bypassing the wary consciousness. For this, psychologists recommend using intonation.
Imagine that you are in a group of people who need to be set up to receive positive emotions. You begin to tell them about some neutral or funny event (watching a movie, talking with a child, etc.), especially highlighting with words such as “pleasant”, “funny”, “relaxed”. You can even pronounce them with the arrangement. People listening to you automatically try on these images for themselves - and now the atmosphere in the room is much less tense.
The main thing is to ensure that you do not inadvertently give people a negative attitude. How to have a negative impact on a person? It’s very simple - it’s enough just to emphasize the words like “bad”, “sad”, “tragic” in intonation.
Conclusion
Now you know factors that seem to be insignificant at first glance and that affect a person. Such methods of manipulation are especially effective in the business sphere. When you are forced to communicate with a large number of colleagues, it is very important to know how to influence a person. And you need to do this in such a way that he does not convict you of this. Now you know how to influence a person.
In personal life, such tricks can also be useful. Therefore, boldly practice them on your beloved people and watch what effect you manage to achieve.