Greedy men are not uncommon in the modern world. Sometimes the realization that the chosen one is “stingy” comes to women late. How to recognize in a man a "miser" before starting a serious relationship? What is the difference between greed and savings? To understand these issues helps the information below.
Why are men greedy?
The basis of behavior is laid in childhood. A man copies his father, grandfather, elder brother, uncle, fully or partially adopting their negative and positive qualities. Also, the little boy remembers his father’s attitude to his mother, and in the future he will use the same model of behavior. If the father deprived the mother of something, then the future man will do the same, since such behavior for him is the norm instilled from childhood.
Stinginess and greed, which manifests itself at an older age, are caused by the following reasons:
- Lack of cash in the family. A man, accustomed to save on everything since childhood, constantly listening to censure from his parents about his squandering, is prone to stinginess. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that a greedy man will subsequently grow out of a little boy. Psychology notes that a person, having become established and having achieved certain material wealth, can be generous, but at the same time economical.
- Material well-being in the family. Boys who have been spoiled by rich parents since childhood and who know that they will certainly give the “best piece” to them are also prone to stinginess. In relationships with the opposite sex, such greedy men will be selfish. They will not spend money on their beloved, while they will not save on their own hobbies and desires.
- The greed of father and mother. Mean parents from childhood instill greed for the future man. Here, stinginess sooner or later will manifest itself, even if the young man had not previously been greedy.
What is the difference between greed and savings
Some women do not share these two completely different concepts. It is believed that if a man saves on his beloved, then such a man is a "miser." The stereotype that has developed over many years is almost impossible to break. But it is worth knowing that between the economy and greed there is a thin line, only breaking which the man becomes mean.
What is human greed? This is an unstoppable desire to possess money, things, feelings of other people in quantities significantly exceeding the norm.
Saving, however, involves abandoning something in favor of conserving resources. That is, the economical person does not waste, but also does not save his savings in vain.
Greedy men differ from economical ones in that they try not to save themselves from costs, but, on the contrary, spend finances on themselves and their own desires, bypassing the desires of people close to them. An economical man will not disregard his beloved, even if he is experiencing some financial difficulties. Therefore, one should not confuse greed and economy, and one should not be blamed for the stinginess of a young man if, instead of a huge armful of roses, he presented you with a modest bunch of wildflowers.
It is worth knowing that an economical man is an excellent candidate for a husband. Your family will not need him, since he knows how to plan expenses correctly.
A greedy young man can never be a good husband. He will save not only on his beloved woman, but also on children.
First date
The first meeting with a man, according to many women, should be memorable. Flowers, a restaurant or cafe, beautiful gestures, compliments - all this should be present on the first date. According to representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, a man must make an impression, otherwise he simply will not be able to “hook” his chosen one.
On the first date, it is quite difficult to recognize a greedy person, since the lack of flowers or money is far from an indicator of stinginess, but just a combination of circumstances. Perhaps the man simply did not have time to buy flowers or forgot. However, greed can still be recognized by noting several nuances in the behavior of the chosen one.
Behavioral characteristics of "mean people" on a first date
Greedy men will never allow themselves to offer a lady an extra cup of coffee. And after a hint of her, a faint grimace grimaces. However, in the same way, with the exception of grimaces, inattentive or ill-bred personalities can behave themselves.
In addition, the greedy man will not forget to casually or covertly mention that he does not have a lot of money. Almost any conversation will be translated on a financial topic. But there are nuances: a self-respecting man will not discuss the lack of finances, even if he is "mean-spirited." The phrase "no money" will sound much later, when the relationship will move to a new level.
As practice shows, the stingy representatives of a strong half of humanity at the first meeting with a lady spent in a cafe or restaurant, paying the bill, never leave a tip to the waiter.
Another important point that you should pay attention to is how he looks at you when placing an order in a cafe. A frightened or heavy gaze suggests that your chosen one is a potential meanie.
What to do if you understand that your husband is a greedy person
It happens that after several years of marriage, a man turns out to be greedy. What to do in this case? The main thing is not to put pressure on him and make sure that this is really a manifestation of greed, not economy.
The greed for money does not always appear immediately, and sometimes a woman connects her life with a man, not paying attention to his shortcomings. His pettiness and desire to control the costs of the chosen one go unnoticed exactly until the moment when she is not dependent on him. That is, as soon as for some reason a woman is left without work, the spouse's greed becomes more noticeable.
In this case, the best help is a negotiation table. Try calling it into a constructive dialogue or use the tips below.
Joint purchases
Shopping together for groceries is a great way to show your husband the real value of goods. Some men, not knowing the price of a particular product, begin to slander their wives, accusing them of squandering. This causes a storm of negativity in women, and they, obeying an emotional outburst, call husbands greedy.
What to talk about with a man at this time? Communicate with him on topics removed from finance, the main thing is that the information is positive.
Payment of bills
Calculate your family budget together. Do not take full responsibility on yourself, but do not shift all payments to it. A man should see in you a support, a reliable friend who will support him in any matters.
If the spouse refers to joint expenses without proper understanding, then in this case you can order him once to pay for kindergarten, housing and communal services, Internet services and other things. However, this must be done without any reproach, without provoking a scandal.
What to talk about with a man in this situation? For example, tell him that you do not have time to visit the bank to pay bills, and a penalty will be charged on outstanding debt. Emphasize that only he can help you here.
Joint rest
Perhaps your beloved man is simply tired of exhausting work, and he needs rest. Spend time with him, away from children and family problems. This will strengthen the relationship, and help to survive the crisis.
Praise is the best panacea for greed
Praise your man as often as possible; feel free to compliment him. He must feel love, he needs care.
A man needs understanding and a warm attitude no less than a woman. To overcome the first manifestations of greed, it should be treated with a certain superiority. Do not be afraid to exaggerate its merits slightly, and to minimize the disadvantages.
Wife - an example for a husband
Be an example for your beloved, give him presents, just like that, for no reason. Small pleasant surprises will not leave him indifferent. Want to make your man generous? Become generous to him.
Do not skimp on emotions, rejoice childishly, learn to understand his sense of humor. Remember that greed can be not only material, but also emotional.
Change yourself
If a trait like wastefulness is really present in your character, then try to get rid of it. Avoid unnecessary waste from the family budget, do not buy unnecessary things that you can do without.
Love your man? Then get ready to have to adapt to it. Changes in behavior and character will help to change not only the attitude towards you - it will also cause the desire in your partner to change.
Never compare
Do not mention other men when communicating with your husband, do not put them as an example - this will only aggravate the situation. Do not tell him that he is in some ways worse than others. Your man must be unique, the best and the very best for you.
What not to do
Psychologists do not advise directly to express to the man that you suspect him of greed. It is necessary to bring him to the discussion of the problem as gently as possible, otherwise a scandal may break out.
In communication with a man at the first sign of greed, you can not:
- insult and humiliate him;
- scream, threaten with divorce;
- start a conversation with children;
- force a man to agree with your opinion;
- blame her husband for his failure.
In addition, it is important to understand what caused greed.
Why did the husband become greedy?
This question is asked by women who first encountered an unpleasant character trait of their beloved spouse. The appearance of signs of greed is caused not only by previously hidden stinginess, upbringing, but also by the spouse's defiant behavior, as well as other factors. Such as:
- accumulated unsolved problems in the family;
- sexual dissatisfaction;
- treason;
- heavy physical labor;
- lack of understanding on the part of the spouse, her aggressive nature.
Sometimes women themselves provoke such a lover's attitude towards themselves. Requirements for the purchase of expensive gifts, wastefulness destroy a harmonious relationship.
What situations require specialist intervention
For help, a family psychologist should be contacted if previously such behavior was not observed for her husband. A critical manifestation of greed is considered to be saving not only on the wife, but also on children, as well as on oneself.
It is worth knowing that pathological greed is equated with a mental illness, and timely assistance to a loved one is a necessity.
After you have met a young man once and realized that he is incredibly greedy, the choice is yours: to be with him and accept him as he is, or to refuse to communicate with him. In any case, you need to listen to your own intuition and feelings - they will tell you whether the right choice was made by you.