Parting is painful at any age, and breaking up an established, strong marital relationship is doubly painful. How can a woman survive a divorce? How to forget your ex-husband? The advice of psychologists, recommendations for restoring one's own strength after the loss of relationships are given below.
Can a divorce be avoided?
There are many reasons for divorce. This may be the incompatibility of characters, betrayal of the spouse, alcoholism and drug addiction, gambling. It is impossible to avoid a divorce for these reasons, and if the marriage still survives, then the relationship will already be far from normal. Therefore, before going to the registry office, you should better know your partner.
You can avoid breaking up relations only with the mutual desire of partners to save the family. If independent work on oneself does not help spouses come to an understanding, then a family psychologist consultation will help them.
What to do when the reason is another woman
“I can’t forget my ex-husband, what should I do?”, - such a question is asked by women who are faced with the betrayal of their beloved spouse and his departure for his mistress. Why can't they let her husband go? It is not only a matter of joint children and the feelings of an ex-wife. When a man exchanges a family hearth for a relationship with another woman, his ex-lover is jealous. And not so much jealousy in its usual manifestation, but jealousy from the fact that it can no longer “possess” an already become a native person.
Women with a keen sense of ownership are more likely to experience divorce. For a certain period of time, the pain from parting abates, but after mentioning a former husband or meeting with him, the woman again experiences a painful prick of jealousy.
How to forget your ex-husband? The advice of the mother and close friends is almost powerless here. A woman after leaving her beloved husband to another requires work on herself, awareness and elimination of her shortcomings. However, she should not think that something is worse than that of another woman. She needs to understand that she is not better than her, she is just different. With a different character, appearance and lifestyle.
How to forget your ex-husband: advice from a psychologist
Psychology helps to overcome the thorny path from divorce to a new relationship and normal life. Closed representatives of the weaker sex, as well as overly emotional, need conversations with a psychologist. Consultations will help to get rid of negative emotions and gain self-confidence.
It is not necessary to resort to the services of a professional, it is enough to conduct a conversation with a loved one. Self-diagnosis using the tips below will also help you recover faster after breaking up with your lover.
How to forget your ex-husband if you have a child
When marriages collapse, children suffer the most. They do not understand what is happening to their parents, while they feel their pain and worries. In this situation, a woman should remain calm and minimize conversations about divorce in a child, since any negative effect on his development.
After a divorce, do not lose touch with your former partner, even though it is more difficult to forget your husband. Have a baby - let your spouse communicate with the baby, do not interfere with their friendship. Forget about your own feelings and desire to prick the offender more painfully. Try to establish companionship with your former lover yourself. Explain to him that you do not owe anything to each other, but you must give your daughter (son) a normal childhood and growing up, despite the odds.
Regardless of the gender of the child, he will always need a father. Of course, if the cause of the divorce was the drunkenness or drug addiction of the spouse, then his communication with the baby should be minimized. At least until the father is completely cured of dependence.
If a man refuses to raise a child after a divorce and completely disappears from your life, then you should not look for him and force him to communicate with his son or daughter. This will take you a lot of time and nerves, and can also harm the baby's psyche.
How to forget about feelings for your ex-husband: a few simple steps
Divorce never goes unnoticed. Women are more sensitive to the loss of a stable, time-tested relationship. Especially in situations where they are left alone with their own pain. If there is no support from relatives and close friends, then you need to provide psychological help yourself.
Step by step, you will feel more confident, and attachment to your ex-spouse will gradually come to naught. But do not hope that everything will happen quickly. It will take time to “bring out” the still beloved person from thoughts, as well as open up for new relationships.
Step One: “Out of sight - out of mind”
How to forget your ex-husband? Get rid of things and objects reminiscent of him. Start with general photos, his gifts, letters and poems written for you. Review them, re-read, and now remember what he did to you. Direct a storm of negative emotions to destroy everything that once united you. Erase digital photos and videos from the computer, remove its image from the desktop.
Tear and discard paper photographs in a garbage chute, burn letters. Looking at the fire, imagine how your feelings “burn out” along with burning paper. If you want - cry sobbing, beat the dishes. But remember that you need to do this in the absence of children. Do not want to be alone? Call for help someone close to you.
Step Two: Change Your Home Environment
How to quickly forget your ex-husband? Make repairs in an apartment or house. Furniture, curtains, wallpapers - all this must be changed necessarily. Tear off the wall covering, cut the curtains and the old tulle. The bed on which you spent so many nights together with your ex-husband, give to those in need. Do not leave anything that may remind him of. Distribute common dishes, break his favorite cup (plate).
Step Three: Change Your Image
How to forget your beloved ex-husband? Change the look. Changes in appearance will help to transform internally and facilitate the process of weaning from past relationships. Change your hairstyle, throw away or give away old things from your own wardrobe. Have you ever worn high heels? Buy them and put on a beautiful dress. Remember, divorce is not hopelessness and eternal loneliness for you. This is a holiday, the beginning of a new and interesting life.
Step Four: Rest
How to forget your ex-husband? Relax your body and soul. Visit the spa, do yoga. If you have children, go to the entertainment center with them, go outdoors. Rest where you would like to always visit.
Take a vacation at work and try to sleep as much as possible. Sleep is the best medicine not only during illness, but also after a breakup.
Step Five: Reduce Time For Experiences
Stormy activity drowns the pain of parting and does not allow distractions for thoughts about the spouse. How to forget your ex- husband? Organize your day so that there is no place left for thoughts of a lover. Spend more time with your children, friends and relatives.
Step Six: “My body is my temple”
Go in for sports. Training will not only distract you from the heartache, but also help you become more confident, attractive. For a splash of negative emotions, you can attend hand-to-hand combat classes.
Climb up the mountain, jump with a parachute, get an adrenaline rush and positive emotions. This will help to recover and distract from problems.
Step seven: new life
Note for yourself the positive aspects of a husband-free life. Now you do not need to report to your spouse for a delay at work and ask for a get-together with friends in a cafe. From now on, you are a free woman.
Even if you have children in common with your ex-husband, this does not mean that you should focus on your maternal responsibilities. No need to try to replace the baby with dad. And remember that the baby should see you happy and cheerful.
New relationship after a divorce
Not everyone can forever forget their ex-husband. Only new relationships can displace the feelings that a woman had for her ex-spouse. However, do not rush to make acquaintances with men immediately after a painful divorce, since it is during this period that the woman is most vulnerable. The usual compliment and support can be regarded as a manifestation of sympathy, and the lady is completely amenable to the “spell” of the new partner. When the veil falls from her eyes, she can be very disappointed with those who are near her.
A common mistake of some divorced women is that instead of taking a break from previous relationships, they seek to drown out the pain and longing with the arms of new gentlemen. Ladies waste themselves on casual connections, and then they feel exhausted and lonely. Take your time, it will be in your life that particular man who will make your heart beat harder. Soon, but not now.
Flirt with men, communicate with them, but not on equal terms. You will feel like the opposite sex, and this is another small step to a normal life after a divorce. A light office romance without intimacy and commitment will help you become more confident.
Divorced mothers need to be extremely careful about new relationships. They should choose not so much a sexual partner as a friend and ally. A man must accept another's child as his own and bring up without interrupting his communication with his father (if he himself expresses a desire to communicate).
There is one main rule for mothers - never bring an unfamiliar man to your house and do not force the child to accept him. Here everything should happen gradually. Find out more closely your potential partner and only then introduce him to the baby. The child should be comfortable with him. Never place your own interests above the interests of a son or daughter. Children have a better understanding of people than adults. Therefore, listen to the opinion of the child.
Do not look in the character of other men for the same traits as in the character of the ex-husband. New relationships are given to forget the past and live in the present.