What is delicacy? Many classics of world literature have tried to answer this question . Balzac, for example, called mental delicacy a manifestation of true virtue. But Hegel wrote: "The manifestation of delicacy is in the absence of actions and words that are contrary to the surrounding conditions."
In psychology, this is called the quality of personality, in which a person is able to skillfully avoid unpleasant situations in communication with other people, subtly feeling their current state and mood.
Delicacy in the modern world
Delicacy is a very valuable quality, and not everyone possesses such a subtle character trait. It is difficult at times not to touch upon unpleasant memories, to prevent the interlocutor from feeling uncomfortable, to understand not by words, but even by intonation, that something is not in order.
Imagine a banal everyday situation. A large company is going to have a picnic in the country in honor of the owner’s birthday. Bonfire, barbecue, barbecue ... suddenly the smoke from the bonfire falls into the eyes of one girl, they begin to water, and she has to run to the bathroom to wash herself. When she finally returns, without makeup, it is so difficult to find out that the whole company remains deadly in silence. And only the birthday man declares: “Oh, and you, it turns out, are so beautiful!”
Definition of the term
The word itself comes from the Latin delicatus, that is, "sensitive, delicate, refined." This term contains an attentive and sensitive attitude to other people, which requires appropriate behavior with them.
To show delicacy means to show oneself as a polite and gentle person, to be helpful and friendly to another, although at the same time it is possible to have your own vision of the situation.
To the question of what delicacy is, one can answer that this is the most subtle sense of personality. In the ability to capture the smallest nuances of mood, traits of a human character, she simply has no equal. However, it is not enough to reveal the uniqueness of the interlocutor - you also need to be able to reckon with him, treating his nature with understanding and respect.
Delicacy: synonyms and antonyms
Tact and delicacy are practically synonyms, but nevertheless there are differences between them. Delicacy is a softer and more restrained manifestation of tact, eliminating an open and completely sincere response. It often manifests the analytical side of the human character, requiring time to think. Delicate people are strategists by nature, carefully weighing each word with reason and soul before expressing their opinion. This, undoubtedly, is the positive property of their character, internal strength and potential.
Another difference: tact is an acquired quality; it can be learned. Scientists consider delicacy to be an inherited character trait laid down by genes. It is either inherent in man or not, and there is nothing to be done about it.
By the way, the opposite of tact is tactlessness. And what is the opposite of the word "delicacy"? Rudeness or rudeness. As you can see, being tactless and being an openly rude person are completely different things.
How does delicacy coexist with other character traits?
Speaking of what delicacy is, one cannot but mention its combination with other qualities. Since this trait is positive, the delicate person is generally kind and gentle. In very rare cases, delicacy can take the side of vices to help achieve what is desired.
For example, in the desire to possess some kind of material good, even a sharp and unrestrained person can show delicacy. Then he will have more chances to establish relations with colleagues and superiors, to advance in the service and earn more money to achieve his dream.
However, greed and selfishness are not the best “neighbors” of delicacy. After all, it is aimed primarily at attention to the desires and needs of another person, sincere concern for him. But the inveterate egoist has no time to think about others.
Manifestations of delicacy
A person whose character is based on politeness and delicacy will become a pleasant conversationalist and will easily make sincere friends. After all, he:
- noble, but not screaming about it at every corner;
- Does not use effective phrases and does not waste words;
- able to tactfully discuss even the most intimate areas of communication without affecting the feelings of others;
- knows how to behave and be "out of place" in any company and in any situation;
- successfully solves sensitive issues with wisdom often affecting others.
Delicacy can be called the perception of the situation at the most subtle level and, in accordance with this, the construction of their own manner of communication. In many cases, the best way to solve any problem is to show delicacy.
Evade the problem or look straight into her eyes?
As a rule, delicate people do not give a direct answer to a specific unpleasant question. They try, without urgent need, not to touch on such topics and not to generate negative memories. However, if you really can’t do without it, they "do not clog into the corner" too, but boldly go towards the situation.
As a rule, we are not even annoyed by the unpleasant situation itself, but by the way it is presented to us. Even the calmest conversation in the presence of a person with a sick ego as your interlocutor can turn into a quarrel and an open confrontation. Delicacy, devoid of egoism, raises a sensitive issue so that the interlocutor feels as comfortable as possible. Agree, when everything in the opponent speaks about his friendliness, friendliness and desire to help, you are ready to listen to any unpleasant arguments.
Delicacy is not cowardice or weakness
Many are mistaken in the question of what delicacy is. Its definition is such that people sometimes interpret this concept as the lot of weak individuals who do not know how to defend their point of view in a dispute and who thoughtlessly agree with an opponent. This may be true, but only with weak-natured natures. A strong personality can afford to show delicacy - and this will only emphasize the strength of its character, strengthen the willpower.
True delicacy and courage are manifested not in the ability with foam at the mouth to prove his innocence and deliver a sharp blow to the "sore spot" precisely when the person least expects this. Not at all. A truly delicate interlocutor will try by all means to avoid a meaningless quarrel, to avoid a conflict situation and not harm other people. Is this not a true manifestation of strength and courage of spirit?
One can talk for hours about what delicacy is, in what it manifests itself and with what qualities of character it is related. You can spend even more time trying to comprehend this subtle “science”. Although, as you already know, delicacy is an innate quality, not an acquired one. Let as many people as possible meet on your life path!