Everyone wants to not only feel needed, but also to be so. And this is normal, these are manifestations of human nature. This is confirmed by the words of Mother Teresa, who tried to convey to people that to be unnecessary, unloved, forgotten by everyone means to be much more hungry and poor than not having food and wealth. And it doesn’t matter in what situation you began to feel superfluous, it can be a party, work, traveling with friends, a sense of uselessness and alienation always beats into the heart. Many studies have shown that the feeling of uselessness affects the same area of the brain as physical pain. But this does not mean at all that you need to lock yourself at home and cry in the pillow, you need to fight this feeling and you can also learn to develop relationships with people and learn something new about social rejection.
How to deal with feelings?
To begin to struggle with your own feelings, you need to accept yourself and the current situation - without this, nowhere. First of all, people with low self-esteem suffer, they very sharply react to communication problems and blame only themselves. But if you learn to accept yourself, love yourself, then a priori self-esteem will increase, and the degree of influence of emotions on a person’s state will decrease. But this process is quite complicated, it will take a long time and hard to understand yourself and your thoughts, look for weaknesses and strengths. This does not work instantly. Learn to focus on your strengths, emphasize your dignity. Repeat to yourself every day that you accept yourself as you are. Let you be unnecessary, this is normal, you are not the only one. It is only important to reconcile, survive and move forward, no matter what.
Look for the positive everywhere
The ability to look for positive moments for yourself in any situation, even the most unpleasant, is a real art. If it is easier to relate to one’s situation, then it will be much easier to survive the trouble. Let's look for the pros right away. For example, psychologists are sure that people rejected by society become more creative, as they begin to express their thoughts through art. This feeling of dissimilarity to others can develop into something serious in a professional sense, people begin to write poetry, music, photograph nature and so on. Your primary task is to analyze the situation and make a list of the advantages that definitely are. For example, now you have more time to spend time alone with yourself, you can engage in self-development, you can analyze your situation and make a conclusion, which people should communicate with and who do not deserve your time and energy.
Do not think about yourself in a negative way
You exist in this world, and you are so alone. There are no others, even similar ones. Feeling useless entails even more negative thoughts. A person begins to convince himself that no one loves him, because he is somehow not the same as everyone, not handsome enough, smart and so on. These feelings are akin to shame and humiliation. They absolutely should not be in your life. To embark on the path of change, it’s worth starting with an analysis of the thoughts that are visiting you and changing them into a positive attitude. For example, someone told you that you didn’t like him. So what? Do not give yourself to suffering 100%, because there are people in this world who like you and if your appearance or behavior did not appeal to any particular person, this is absolutely not a problem. After all, you are not $ 100 to please everyone. Because of someone else's words, you will not become worse or better, you will remain the same as you are.
Defend yourself
People who at the right time can release their claws and protect themselves are much easier to tolerate failures and a sense of uselessness. All this is explained by science: in such people, the level of stress hormone is lower even in the most critical situations. How to get rid of a sense of uselessness? Remember the pleasant experience of the relationship, those moments when someone needed you and focus on this positive. Be stronger and just move away from people who give you unpleasant emotions. Can't fall asleep with a sense of uselessness? Then pay attention to what you think. If you catch yourself thinking that you are constantly thinking about yourself in a negative aspect, scold yourself for it. Try to control the appearance of such thoughts and immediately be distracted by something positive. Stop scrolling in your head again and again those moments when you felt a sense of your own uselessness, occupy your head with something new. These may be thoughts about work, study, self-development, and so on. Go in for sports, go shopping, do everything to get rid of a sense of uselessness.
Just live on
Yes, we all face the injustice and cruelty of this world, it’s hard to hide from this, but the ability to forget people who are not worth your time and energy, the ability to stand up and go forward, even if it was very painful to fall, it’s very difficult to live without it . Making someone love yourself and vice versa is impossible, but trying to concentrate on the relationships that you have will be very useful. People who ignore you, are trying in every possible way to humiliate or be rude, should be let go and continue to live on.
Work on positive relationships
But it is not always the case that it is the matter of others, in order to understand oneself and get rid of the feeling of uselessness in a relationship, it is recommended to analyze your own behavior. Maybe it was just some of your actions or mistakes that triggered such a situation. Try to develop communication skills, learn to speak and listen. Here a psychologist comes to the rescue, who will help to understand everything. Do not engage in self-hypnosis and do not expect rejection from others. Our self-confidence, our thoughts are reflected in those with whom we communicate. If you constantly think and behave as if you are superfluous, people will begin to relate to you.
Do not forget to think about yourself
If you learn to accept yourself, love yourself, then it will be much easier for others to do the same. A confident person can be seen from afar, and other people also feel it. You think how to get rid of sense of uselessness? It's simple: focus on work or study. Success in professional work helps to cope with the feeling of uselessness. Achieving goals is a direct way to feel confident in yourself and in your abilities. In no case do not lock yourself at home, constantly scrolling in your head the thought that nobody needs you. Indulge yourself, you deserve it.
Advice
The sense of uselessness in psychology is considered as one of the aspects of low self-esteem. To prevent this turn of events, you can take note of the following tips:
- Tell people you trust about your condition.
- Surround yourself with people who always support you and give you positive.
- Do not let others influence your condition. If you feel abandoned in the company of friends, tell them about it. If nothing changes, you will have to look for new friends, but your nerves will be in order.
- If you haven’t been invited to a party, find a more entertaining activity, and don’t be upset all evening. In any case, you can throw a holiday at home.
Calmness and a rational attitude in a situation is the key to success and well-being. Think about yourself first, and not about those who cause you trouble.