As soon as you observe your emotions a little, a clear thought comes: they are often too volatile. Today I want, tomorrow I do not want. I like it, and now I'm sick of one look. And all this for no reason. Rather, we think so. And this confirms the concept of reactive education.
The concept
Reactive education in psychology is a hypertrophied, excessive reaction to a subconscious prohibition. It is expressed in a deliberately vivid manifestation of the opposite feeling. Even the name "reactive" indicates the main definition (due to the reaction). That is, for such a phenomenon, two or more components are necessary. As a rule, this is a subconscious barrier and a thought that conflicts with it.
Bit of theory
Here it is necessary to say about the ambivalent (dual) nature of our emotions. This means that under the influence of more or less strong feelings, we experience two poles, two extremes simultaneously. We simply do not realize one of them. This, however, will not prevent us, in which case, quickly switch to it.
To begin with, we will determine that we experience a much greater influence from the words of a loved one than from an outsider. It is obvious. The usual “thank you” from a loved one warms the soul much more than a thank-you tirade from a homeless person to whom we dumped a handful of little things.
This also works in the opposite direction. Paradoxical as it sounds, but according to the principle of ambivalence, the more we love a person, the more we hate him. If the same homeless person sends you to hell, you will not be very upset, it will be just unpleasant. In the end, this is a complete stranger to you. However, it is worth doing the same to a loved one - the reaction will be much sharper, even unpredictable.
Logically, it turns out that you hate loved ones more than street alcoholics. Yes, the logic is such a thing, sometimes it can be very angry. In fact, the whole point is the duality of emotions. As love develops, so does “potential” hatred. The more we rejoice today, the more likely melancholy is tomorrow. In neglected situations, such ambivalence has a permanent character (constant change of extreme moods) and is one of the signs of schizophrenia.
Principle of operation
The prerequisites for such behavior are laid at an early age and are expressed as stereotypical thinking. That is, a person has a certain rigid (solid, unyielding) attitude in his head. Its source can be anything: the words of parents, moralizing at school, some social stereotypes, etc. In itself, it is not dangerous and is not something exceptional; each of us carries the stereotypes of our environment.
But we know that two sides are needed for a conflict, and therefore reactive education begins with the intervention of outside thought. Moreover, this “border violator” must directly contradict the stereotype that has become stiff in thinking.
And then everything is like in chemistry: two substances are mixed and a reaction occurs. The desired thought comes into conflict with a solid stereotype that prevents it from being realized. At this stage, reactive formation occurs. Not having access to the desired, the emotion directs all its strength in the opposite direction. It turns out the exact opposite feeling, equal in strength to the original.
The strength of the reaction depends on the concentration of each element. If a strong, established stereotype is confronted with strong thought and strong desire, then the reaction will not keep itself waiting, striking with stunning force. In this case, the main driving mechanism of reactive education will be its unconsciousness. That is, a person will believe in the sincerity of his feelings, not assuming that this is only a product of an internal prohibition.
Psychological defense
The main function of reactive education is psychological defense. And from whom, you ask, protection? Well, from myself. Our own stereotypes build terrible theories of events. Of course, we believe them. In fact, we ourselves are just a set of stereotypes.
And so that this terrible future does not come, we should block some ways of thought. It’s as if we put prohibition signs on the road: “Kindness and affection are a manifestation of weakness”, “If you give slack, they laugh and dishonor”, “If they find out that you don’t have enough money for a fashionable repair, they will blame the poor for life”, “If you don’t against gays - you yourself are gay "and stuff like that. Such stereotypes block many feelings, turning them into opposites: excessive firmness, impermissible wastefulness or vivid aggression.
But if you decide to overcome such thinking in yourself, well, all that remains is to wish good luck in this unequivocally difficult task. True, often such a struggle goes into battle with windmills. The environment has a strong influence on everyone, regardless of whether he wants it or not.
Example
Consider a vivid example of reactive education in a relationship. A man loves one woman very much, and this feeling bursts into his mind, knocking everything in its path with a joyful gait. A man wants to talk about his love every day. But here a stereotype gets in the way of a wonderful feeling. He kind of says: “Why are you? You can’t show your feelings like that, it’s not manly. Remember that Dad said to you in childhood:“ You cannot trust these women, they are all witches! ”And since the stereotype is too strong a thing just to step over it, the man succumbs, but this storm of emotions needs to be directed somewhere, otherwise the head may simply burst (this is unverified information). Then the love relationship switches to a hostile one.
A family
So much has been said above about the influence of the environment on humans. The environment, of course, greatly affects the nature of thinking, but do not forget that the main factor remains the family. The child "takes over" the actions of their parents. They will always stay with him until the end of life. Therefore, underestimating the responsibility of such a thing as education is impossible.
Very often reactive education occurs at school at the first sign of sympathy for the opposite sex. For example, the boy liked the girl, and he kind of enters into a dialogue with his own stereotypes:
- Maybe you should give her flowers?
- What are you doing? Have you seen your dad care for your mom like this at least once?
- No, but I want to attract attention ... Maybe hit her with a briefcase on the head?
- But this is a good idea!
And how then do not explain to the boy that courtship is a little different, the model of behavior in the family will remain at the highest level. Of course, he will not soon realize the duality of his feelings, but for now he will be sure that all the girls are fools, for him this is now an axiom.