People always ask themselves the question of what love is and whether it can be distinguished from true love even at the stage of origin. This issue is especially relevant due to the high percentage of divorces in couples who have married both for the first time and repeatedly. What are the reasons for frequent divorces and does this mean that our parents loved each other more strongly? We will understand this publication.
The phenomenon of love
Psychologists have been studying the comparison of human feelings for many years , always coming to the conclusion that the state of love gives a person an impetus for procreation. Speaking in scientific language, the feeling that came as if by magic, is a genetically predetermined instinctive component of mating. Why is this happening? The answer is simple. Man is inherently self-centered, and love for a while fogs the mind, allowing you to see only good qualities in your soul mate . People, experiencing euphoria, convince themselves that this will always be the case, they are not taught anything by examples of other married couples who are getting divorced after 2 years of marriage.
Why do couples break up?
But, unfortunately, the boat, called "conjugal happiness", pretty quickly breaks up into everyday life and the first difficulties. First falling in love often leads to early marriage due to the high percentage of unplanned pregnancies. So the notorious phenomenon, replacing concepts, does its own "black" business. If the couple, not seeing the further continuation of the relationship, decides to break up, “heavy artillery” comes into play in the person of parents and public opinion, trying to reason people who were once in love with each other and convince them to continue living together for the sake of the child.
Timeline Fiction
After examining the relationship of couples, experts tracked the time frame in which love exists and develops in its peak state. 2 years - this is how long the euphoria of feelings in couples lasts. Moreover, if a man’s love falls within the specified time frames, then ladies are able to experience this euphoria a little longer.
After this time, the couples begin constant quarrels, misunderstanding appears, people fall to mutual insults and accusations. It is at this moment that people realize that the feeling that they mistook for love has passed. In fact, love has its own timing, but love cannot pass.
Several scenarios
Studying the question of what love is, we found that the instinct of procreation dominates most of the population. Love can be sought forever, but never found. But the state of love, capable of replacing values in the human mind, is an excellent occasion to create a family.
In couples that were able to save the family, in a larger percentage of cases, relations between themselves are maintained due to influence from the outside. In other words, men and women find new objects of desire and secretly change their soul mate on the side. Paradoxically, but it is precisely this fact that keeps families afloat. Also, many couples (as in many cases with our parents) exist with each other solely for the sake of children. Well, in the most common variant of the family today, having conceived a child, they simply break up.
What is love: how to recognize fiction?
Let's put everything on the shelves. Know that the state of love will never become an incentive for the development of a person, his personal growth and self-improvement. This feeling for the end result is taking possession of an object that you like. Everything, a man has achieved what he wanted, he has nothing more to strive for. Psychologists also identified 3 basic principles by which to distinguish love from falling in love:
- Feeling arises on a subconscious level, spontaneously. Sometimes there is a feeling that we are falling in love with absolutely the wrong people, “at the wrong time and in the wrong place.” This condition cannot be caused artificially, it suddenly comes and can disappear like a soap bubble.
- The psychology of love is passive. As we said earlier, this feeling does not arouse the best qualities in a person and does not make you want to change yourself for the better, and even more so does not discipline. All the things that happen at this moment are rather strange and not peculiar to us.
- In this state, people in pairs are not at all interested in the personal growth of their soul mates; they simply want to put an end to their loneliness.
Men seek senses too
So, we found out what love is. Still more interesting is the reasoning that distinguishes between female and male love, and is it true that men are only interested in sexual relations in the object of desire. In fact, men are also sensitive to feelings, just as vulnerable and waiting for affection. The difference is expressed only in the manifestation of one’s attitude.
How do men fall in love? This condition makes the gentleman often write, call his lady, make an appointment, make expensive purchases for her, take care and patronize. A man in love does not give up his intentions after a refusal of intimacy, he tries to please his passion as much as possible, spend time just holding hands. But, as we found out, all this can collapse some time after the goal is achieved.
Conclusion
No wonder people say that love is work. It turns out that folk sages are right, and in order to maintain the feeling that has arisen, you really need to want to become better by throwing your own ego. However, if the other half does not desire the same, all efforts will be in vain.