How to forget your loved one forever? After all, parting is, perhaps, one of the most difficult tests in everyone’s life. The stress that a person experiences at this difficult moment is capable of not only absorbing it whole and completely, preventing it from living on and moving forward. Such a life situation can provoke a powerful nervous breakdown and, as a result, lead to prolonged and complex depressive stagnation.
In this situation, it is important to realize in time the scale of the possible consequences of the problem and understand for yourself how to painlessly forget your loved one and learn to exist without him. Acceptance of the very fact of termination of relations for each occurs differently, since everything is very individual. But the essence of the problem remains one - it is a rather complex and ornate psychological process, which is sometimes very difficult and can even have a tragic outcome.
Alarms: Signs of Depression
In order to understand how to forget your loved one after parting and to cope with your own emotional imbalance, you first need to overcome the shock state. You need to give yourself some time to recover. But it’s important not to drag out this moment, which usually becomes a period of immersion in negative thoughts and accusations of everyone and oneself of what happened. This, in fact, is terrible for the process of recognizing and accepting the fact of separation: thoughts about how to forget a loved one do not even occur to one - everything goes in cycles in a misunderstanding, the impossibility of accepting the fact that yesterday there was already no strong love union.
This kind of denial and opposition to reality usually leads to further depression. Its first signs signal the alarming symptoms of a suffering model of behavior that is close to a dangerous mental disorder.
- There is a methodical closure in oneself - a complete lack of desire to communicate with anyone in general is manifested.
- An appetite disorder is observed - the desire to eat delicious food disappears along with the zeal for communicating with the outside world.
- Increased vulnerability and irritability are noted - if earlier it was possible to rationally evaluate one or another life, work, everyday situation, then during the breakup and torment about how to make yourself forget your loved one, there is a complete restructuring of the mental and conscious process in terms of exacerbating sensitivity and susceptibility. A sandwich that has just fallen butter down can lead to hysteria.
- The intensified process of self-criticism, accusation of oneself and others of what has happened is manifested - a woeful sense of one’s own inferiority, uselessness and lowered self-esteem is driven into an apathetic state, prolonged by a further depressive one.
It must be understood that such signs of falling into prostration should yield to maximum resistance and prevent its exacerbation. Indeed, such a brain attack and internal struggle with oneself can be replaced by the threat of a nervous breakdown.
What to do when on the verge of collapse
A nervous breakdown is an even more dangerous condition than a gradual depression, because mood swings, outbursts of rage and irritation, as well as uncontrollable affect actions can lead to unforeseen consequences, including an attack on others or on oneself. Suicidal statistics are disappointing in their indicators, since a fairly large number of people in the world tried to take their own lives because of the inability to overcome themselves and answer their own question about how to forget a loved one after parting.
In anticipation of emotional sabotage and a premonition of an imminent nervous breakdown, when self-consciousness of this treacherous “on the edge” comes, it is necessary to gather all your courage into a fist and counteract a dangerous psychological disorder:
- to give free rein to emotions - to cry, curse, scream and howl into a pillow: this will allow negative emotional suffering to break out and to some extent ease the general moral state;
- stop the flow of thoughts about his guilt or the fault of the second half, thereby relieving his consciousness from thoughts that the perpetrator should suffer and be punished for what he had done in the form of physical violence;
- to allow people in the person of friends and relatives to be near at a time when it’s especially difficult to control oneself, and try not to shut yourself off from people who want to provide their moral support;
- at the time of an attack of aggression, try to switch your attention to something else: simply turn on the TV quickly and start to delve into what the journalist says from the news or the cook tells in his cooking show; it’s important to stop the moment of peak rage and allow the senses to cool.
Forbidden actions and actions during the separation
What else can not be done during the separation, in addition to the already agreed to prevent yourself to a state of emotional breakdown? In order to understand yourself and understand how easier it is to forget your loved one, you need, accordingly, to ease your task by banning certain incorrect actions in the post-fracture period.
So, what should not be done and is strictly forbidden in view of the already weakened state of mind:
- look for opportunities to resume communication with the initiator of the break - no calls, no SMS, nor, moreover, guards at the entrance of the offender in the person of a recently close person should not be;
- to study social networks in search of new information - you do not need to launch an Internet attack by updating the page of the second half in your personal profile every second, this will only aggravate the situation and additionally lead to paranoia;
- turning on “Detective Colombo” and conducting an investigation about the new passion of a loved one is a rather dangerous undertaking, since the contemplation of his happy photos and posts about a new hobby can, just the same, provoke an attack of uncontrolled aggression and despair;
- arrange surveillance - wait at home or at work instead of understanding yourself and understanding how to forget your loved one if you work together, at least it's very stupid.
You need to take a sober look at things and clearly grasp the fact that if drastic measures such as separation were taken, it means that there is no point in trying to bring everything back by constantly imposing yourself and your love. Such actions not only humiliate and embarrass both parties, they further upset frustrated feelings and push them to even greater disappointment and suffering. Here it is most logical to seek the help of a specialist.
Psychologists' recommendations
A visit to a psychologist is by no means a shame. The qualified help of a person who knows and understands such issues will never be superfluous, on the contrary, will contribute to the rapid exit of the depressant from his state of deep gloom. And, most importantly, the psychologist will help you understand yourself and understand how to quickly forget your loved one without moral self-flagellation and torturing your own soul.
The recommendations of psychologists are based on an analysis of the current state of things, taking into account the characteristics of consciousness and the patient's vision of the situation. This is not only a powerful support of a person with an objective opinion and own vision of the problem, it is also a real opportunity to get out of apathetic prostration and receive a valuable answer to the main question about how to forget your loved one. The advice of a psychologist will justify step by step the need to abstract from the created unpleasant moment in the life of his ward, will allow returning to normal life in a fairly short time. Usually this kind of problem is solved by a three-step technique for stabilizing the patient’s emotional state.
How to forget your loved one: three simple steps
There is no point in denying the fact that if you already had to turn to a professional for help, it means that an independent way out of the deplorable mood is practically impossible. Relying on the opinion of a specialist, following his recommendations, listening to his reasoned explanatory speeches and receiving constructive answers to his questions, the sufferer who applied for help gradually comes to the answer to the question of how to forget a loved one. Psychologist’s advice often demonstrates to the ward a behavior model of a phased exit from the situation by going through the three main steps to the top of self-control and returning emotional peace to oneself. Three key points in the course of such treatment lead to the stabilization of internal discipline and the planned correction of the patient.
So, an exhaustive model of knowing the answers to all questions is to go through three simple steps. How to forget your loved one?
Step one: accepting the fact of the gap. What happened - something happened. It is necessary to come to the realization that all attempts to correct or improve the situation will be futile, since they are not needed by the object initiating the break in a pair. The cessation of all attempts to return to the past and resume communication should be in first place in the list of tasks to be completed. Not to see, not to hear, not to follow and not to be imposed is the basis of a successful coming to the realization of what happened and humility submissive to it.
Step two: reorient thoughts in the right direction. Instead of daily suffering, thoughts about how to forget your loved one forever, as well as despondency about what happened, you need to move forward and focus on success in another matter. For example, go headlong to work. Although many believe that this is not an option, in combination with the implementation of certain recommendations of an observing specialist, it really works. Immersion in things that require active brain activity and focus on the object of labor, quite easily replaces, albeit for a while, depressing thoughts. An even better option would be to devote yourself not to work, but to hobbies: drawing, knitting, modeling of technical constructions, active participation in sports training - all this helps to forget about the problem and eventually displaces it from life as something that does not represent special significance.
Step three: search for fresh sensations and a new object of attention. As they say, you need to be able to turn the page and start all over from scratch. Throwing garbage out of your head and things reminiscent of the former from the nightstand is an excellent psychological technique against constantly reminding yourself of the past. We need to tune in to the fact that there is a whole sea of pleasant events ahead, vivid impressions, joyful emotions. Finding a new object of attention is the most ideal answer to the question of how to forget your loved one after the break forever. Therefore, you need to close the doors to the past and open yourself to new feelings and new love.
Introspection and debriefing
In the process of completing the three-step methodology of the psychology course on how to forget your loved one, you involuntarily learn to analyze what has happened no longer from the side of the victim, but from the side of objectivity. A sound assessment of the situation, which comes only with time, helps to take stock, weigh the pros and cons, identify the minuses and advantages of past relationships and smoothly move to their gradual displacement from their lives.
Abstracting from the problem
Positive-oriented self-programming is very helpful in finding answers to the question of how to quickly forget your loved one. Abstracting from our sufferings and from the vile deed of our soul mate, we can achieve tremendous success in eliminating obsessive thoughts and feelings of loss, mixed with irresistible despair. This is, as in Allen Carr's book about the easy way to quit smoking: you just need to understand for yourself that all problems lurk in the head, and not in physical attraction or moral dependence.
Search for new sensations
Another powerful impetus for self-healing and ridding oneself of thoughts about how to forget a loved one after a scandalous separation is a closer acquaintance with such a concept as adrenaline. Nothing can produce a more emotional shake than a visit to a park with extreme swings or rides for adults with free-fall jumping and the like. A surge of adrenaline helps fill the soul-wound with a disturbing and uplifting mass of positive impressions gained after such an unusual pastime.
Motivation
Returning gradually to life, one needs to have persistent motivation and incentive to move forward. Getting a pet in the face of a dog or cat will help get rid of gloom in moments of loneliness: evening walks in the park with a dog will not only be necessary for the animal, but also useful for its owner, because fresh air has not harmed anyone. So there will be a daily motivation to "get out of your shell", go out and open to the world, and not get hung up on yourself at home, lying under the covers and drooling. Setting yourself the task of how to forget and let go of your loved one and successfully overcome it will help motivating yourself with your own settings. For example, to set a goal not to think about the past today and reward yourself with a delicious cake at the end of the day. A trifle, funny, but it works.
Cardinal changes in life
And, finally, the most important thing - you need to learn how to strive for the best, improve yourself, do useful things and make your own story. How to forgive and forget a loved one who caused pain? It’s easy and simple - to replace an old pair of shoes with a new one, change a bored hairstyle to a stylish fashionable styling, quit your previous job and find a job you like, change the old passion for a new one - find a worthy replacement for the offended beloved.
Forgetting a loved one, as well as coping with your emotions, is sometimes very difficult. But over the years, the proven theory that nothing is impossible is not deceiving this time either. In order to cope with your fears, depression and despair, you just need to make certain efforts, and, if necessary, resort to the help of people who will help overcome passions and cope with their self-control.