Loneliness is especially acute in adolescence. A growing up person begins to be more critical of himself and others, his expectations and requirements are changing. And the problem: “I have no friend” is becoming more painful. How to help a teenager cope with a feeling of loneliness?
What words to find?
If your son or daughter says, “I have no friend,” for him or her it means “I feel bad.” Try to be as attentive as possible to the child during this period. Talk to him as much as possible, just don’t teach, but try to understand. Be sincere, share your thoughts and feelings, memories of how you grew up, which was important for you then. Alas, much more often a teenager does not admit his problems, but prefers to carry everything in himself. Nevertheless, there are certain signals. A smart parent or teacher will notice them and try to help.
First of all, categorically avoid criticism! Remember that any comments are therefore perceived with hostility because they injure an already sensitive, fragile soul. The teenager has a very precarious self-esteem, he is only looking for himself and his place in this world. Therefore, if you reply to the words: “I don’t have a friend” with criticism (“He isn’t there because you’re not smart enough .... smart, good, handsome, kind, try”) and similar texts - rest assured that you’re in contact with a child
lose forever. Do not think that your comments will help him correct the shortcomings, that he will become better. This is one of the biggest misconceptions of parents. On the contrary, praise the teenager as often as possible, instill confidence in him in his attractiveness and abilities. In search of approval and recognition, children increasingly go into virtual reality, in communication with those who are just as lonely and unhappy. Not receiving praise and understanding in the family and school, they begin to look for them in various companies, which are far from always reliable and kind-minded.
In addition, remember that with some envy young creatures look at those peers that they think are more mature, successful, beautiful. For a girl, the thought “I have no friend” is often closely related to the example of friends who have long had guys. It is in adolescence that one wants to be no worse than others, be attractive and cause admiration. There is nothing shameful in this - this is a normal process of self-assertion and the formation of personality.
It is also important for a teenager what kind of friend a person, whether he knows how to accept it in the present, not try to change.
Not finding support from peers, they seek to communicate with elders, with adults. It also enhances the peculiar "prestige" of the teenager in his eyes and in the opinion of classmates. That is why it is extremely important to constantly talk with children about
interpersonal communication. It is necessary to teach them to understand themselves, to listen to their inner voice. And to distinguish the present from the superficial. A boyfriend-friend for a girl is often not so much the one with whom you can share the most sacred, whom you can trust, but the one with whom you want to show up at the party, who you can “brag about” to make classmates envious. And this is also a normal stage of formation and development. Therefore, do not rush to reproach the teenager for not understanding people. Try to understand it and create a trusting atmosphere. This is the only way to help him survive this difficult period.