In the modern world, a person simply can not but be offended, because this is a natural reaction of our body to the outside world. Often, relatives give us enormous mental pain, after which they are very sorry, but the feeling of resentment still remains. In our article you will learn not only how to learn not to be offended by people (on the advice of psychologists), but also because of what this unpleasant emotion arises. Such knowledge will help forgive any person who once inflicted a heartache on you.
What is resentment and how is it dangerous?
If you decide to permanently stop resenting other people, then for a start you should figure out what resentment is, in order to know your enemy in person. Generally speaking, this is a negative reaction to the actions of another person, which we consider unforgivable, and our offender is completely natural. This statement only proves the fact that the boundaries of resentment are quite blurred, and its origins are always individual. Nevertheless, this negative emotion can greatly ruin our life, so we should fight it in every possible way. Moreover, if we give a feeling of resentment to fully occupy our thoughts, then this can lead to a depressive state and even affect our health.
It should also be understood that if you only once give slack and allow yourself to be offended by some person, then at once everything will definitely not be limited. Negative situations that lead you to resent your loved ones will overlap each other, as a result of which you will begin to take offense even at those things that most people consider trifles. Quite often, such an attitude leads to the fact that relatives do not communicate for years, and love relationships cease at the stage of development. Therefore, try to find the root of the problem in yourself in order to build your own happy future with your own hands.
Do not impose your opinion on others
How often situations happen when one of our friends does not live up to our expectations, after which we try our best to change his point of view to the only correct one, as it seems to us. Similar manifestations of egoism are very frequent. None of the people love when someone teaches their lives, but for some reason everyone is not against giving a couple of practical advice to their friends or acquaintances. Well, if they reject such help, then for some reason a person is immediately offended.
If you want to stop being offended by other people, then never impose your opinion and point of view on anyone. Yes, in some cases the interlocutor may be really wrong, but if he does not want to accept your help, then you should not force it upon you. In this case, either the person you are trying to help will be offended, or you yourself when your help is rejected.
Try to focus on the good
This advice can be considered universal for any person who wants to learn not to be offended by others. In addition, this is the most effective method for attracting happiness and even material wealth into one's life. As you know, our thoughts are quite material, and like attracts to like. If you keep focusing on the past deeds of your friends and wait for their repetition, then they will certainly happen.
This method also helps eliminate resentment of almost any degree. Just try to remember all the good things that happened between you and the offender. Or, analyze him as a person to find positive character traits in him. Be sure every person has something to love and respect. If you do not see this, then it is in you. When you stop looking at others from high and learn to respect your environment, it is unlikely that at least someone can offend you greatly.
Try to understand another person
To learn not to be offended by others, you must first try to understand the person who offended you, because any action has its own motives. It is unlikely that there are a large number of people in the world who consciously go to harm others. Of course, in every herd there is a black sheep, but judging by it about the whole flock is not worth it.
If someone has hurt you, try to analyze exactly what emotions he was experiencing at that moment. Perhaps he felt unwell or simply overworked after a hard working day. If we talk about adolescents, then many of them generally offend their peers unknowingly, unsuccessfully joking, for example. If you find the answer to the question of why exactly the person close to you did just that, then it will become much easier for you, and you will forgive him.
Do not forget that life is fleeting
No matter how sad this sounds, all people will die sooner or later, even those who are immensely dear to us. If a loved one offended you with his act, sometimes it’s enough to imagine that he was gone. What do you feel at this moment? Perhaps only fear, horror and bitterness of loss. After that, you will curse yourself for taking offense at this person because of some trifle.
Remember that the feeling of resentment can greatly harm your relationship with another person, so you should suppress it in any way possible. Feeling guilty copes with this task, but do not overdo it. Forgiving offenses should not lead you to a sense of despair and depression. As soon as you forgive the person for his action, immediately switch your thoughts to something positive so as not to attract the negative into your life.
Do not take everything to heart
“Never mind” - this expression became so stamped that we stopped thinking about its true meaning. Unfortunately, words become worthless over time if you do not think about their essence from time to time. How often do we try to apologize to another person, and he simply tells us: “Never mind”, while being in the deepest resentment. Because of such personalities, we then simply stop believing in other people, and such expressions become consonant with the message to hell.
However, we really should not take resentment to heart. Do not load your head with thoughts that should not be in it. With a high degree of probability, the person who offended you probably just did not know how you would react to this. Few people have intentions to offend everyone they meet. However, even in this case, you can take the spoken words as a joke, and then forget about them as something of little significance.
Be smarter than the one who offended you
Yes, looking high at other people is not good. However, this expression is very suitable for conveying its meaning to readers. Remember how in childhood adults told us: "Just be smarter." Of course, for a child, such a phrase sounds rather incomprehensible - how can one be smarter when another person offends me? However, this is the whole point. Even if the other person deliberately offended you, then you will make him much worse if you do not react to such stupidity. Just try to think of the offender as a person who does not understand anything in dealing with people. You will not be offended by the child who hit you so that you run after him?
Recognize the implications that await you
Resentment is an emotion that can lead to disastrous consequences. For example, if you are offended by your boyfriend because he did not write to you on time, then you can start to ruin your relationship with your own hands. A man will not be next to that girl with whom he feels uncomfortable, so sooner or later such a relationship will end in parting.
“Do not hold a grudge, and life will certainly get better” - these are not just words that many psychologists say. If you keep focusing on the negative actions of other people all the time, then failure will haunt you one after another. Try to reject such thoughts, but do not forget about the consequences that await if you again begin to be offended by someone.
Learn to take responsibility for actions
Only those people who do not know how to accept responsibility for their own actions cry from resentment. Do you think it’s not your fault that someone close to you offended you? How to blame! After all, you could simply ignore these words. And now, instead of engaging in self-development, you shed tears in your pillow and look for the answer to the question why life is so unfair. Some time will pass, and you will realize that the reason for resentment was actually quite petty, but the time spent can no longer be returned.
You should understand that life is very cruel. Anything can happen. However, some people continue to go towards the intended goal, despite the difficulties encountered, while others remain in place and try to find an excuse. Understand that resentment will not lead to anything good. Even if a person apologizes for his act and promises to improve, you are unlikely to become much easier from this. Steel is hardened by heat. In real life, the role of temperature is played by various everyday situations that can break you or harden you, like a steel blade.
Do not lose your awareness
What you should not do in life is to lose your temper in stressful situations. You must always be aware of where you are and what you do. If what you are doing now does not bring you any benefit or does not advance on the path to the intended goal, then you live your life in vain. Resentment against another person will not bring any benefit. Offended by a relative or friend, you are at best stomping on the spot, and at worst - degrading. If you constantly repeat yourself the phrase: "I have control over the situation in which I am now," then no one in the whole world will be able to offend you. Therefore, try to observe your actions from the side, so as not to become part of the game called "Resentment".
Conclusion and video
We hope that now you will be able to learn not to be offended by other people. In order to properly consolidate the read information, we recommend that you watch a short video from the author of the LNP-direction (elimination of negative programs) Dmitry Moskovtsev. This famous video blogger has quite a good popularity on the Internet and knows a lot about psychology. After watching this video to the end, you will forever decide how to behave with offenders and how not to be offended by other people at all. Rest assured, these skills will prove extremely useful in today's world.
As you can see, in order to stop being offended by the environment, it’s not at all necessary to follow some cunning methods in the field of psychology. It will be enough just to understand that resentment will not lead you to anything good, but, on the contrary, will bring new troubles into your life. If you do not want to plunge headlong into difficulties, then start self-developing today. Of course, at first it will be difficult enough not to be offended by people, but over time you will understand how to do it right. Dear readers, what do you think about the best way to avoid resentment? Perhaps you had to deal with him in the real world, and you were able to overcome it?