Every woman dreams of a relationship with a strong man who will become a reliable support. But often girls choose sissies. Who are they? How to behave with a man of this type in a relationship? The answers to these and other questions will be considered in the article.
The concept
Mama’s son is a timid and shy man who cannot take a step without maternal approval.
Such representatives of the strong half of humanity very rarely make independent decisions. It is very difficult to rely on them in difficult situations. And most importantly, mom! She is constantly present in the life of an already matured boy. The wife of such a man sometimes thinks that she started a family not with her husband, but with his mother. The mother-in-law regularly participates in the life of young people and gives out tips related to home improvement, the choice of dishes, curtains and other interior items, as well as raising children. Some mothers of men can even control what feeds the daughter-in-law of her adult child.
Mom's opinion
Such behavior is often not caused by despotic behavior on the part of the mother, as many believe. On the contrary, mother and son have been in close spiritual connection for a long time. The result is a process associated with psychological continuation. In other words, people begin to depend on each other's opinions, and any decisions are made only after agreement.
It is important to understand that with broken separation bonds, normal relationships between adults are almost impossible. Yes, a man can start a family and have children. He is able to move from mother to wife. But in such a relationship there will always be three, and the spouse will feel superfluous, since the man has a close psychological relationship with his mother, which has been forming since childhood. Accordingly, to compete in such a situation is difficult, and sometimes completely impossible. Therefore, if you find yourself in such a "trap", you must understand that it is very difficult to be in a relationship with a person when he is a man - a sissy.
Signs
Sometimes a woman in a relationship may think that her chosen one has a lover or he is of a different orientation, but this is not so. Perhaps the whole point is that the partner extols his beloved mother, and you are just a wife for him, who must accept him with all the shortcomings and bad habits.
The main signs of a sissy:
- He constantly calls up with his mother and asks her for advice on a particular situation, a future trip or a planned purchase.
- Most of the free time belongs to his mother. He can easily give up all your joint affairs if his mother needed a little help.
- In the list of phone calls, you can find many outgoing and incoming calls from dear mom.
- And also you can find correspondence in which the mother-in-law can give meaningless advice, and also not speak out in the best way to you.
- Your chosen one regularly gives you an example of his mother. Perhaps he believes that she cooks better, knows more about raising children.
- In his speech, you can hear “catchphrases” or quotes from his mother.
- His mother regularly gets into your relationship and clarifies information related to the appetite, health and affairs of his son’s work. Moreover, she may be interested in the breakfast, lunch and dinner of her “baby”, as well as the clothes in which the man left the house.
- Mother sons tend to devote their beloved mother to all quarrels, details of family and intimate life.
- Such a man does not want to grow up. He is very comfortable in this condition. When the wife asks him to do something, he will easily complain to his mother that his wife is "sawing".
If most of the above signs match, then you can be sure that your man is a sissy. What to do in such a situation? This must be decided by the woman herself. It is important to understand that sometimes life with such a chosen one becomes unbearable. Often she resembles torture, and it’s very difficult to “tear a man out of tenacious hands” of mom.
Where do they come from?
Probably every woman at least once in her life heard such an expression as a sissy. Psychology, namely research in the field of parent-child relationships, shows that this situation occurs in families where the mother was deprived of male attention. Often these are single moms. Sometimes there is a father in such families, but he has no influence on the situation. He is either very busy at work, or has not experienced serious feelings for his wife for a long time. As a result, a woman is overwhelmed with a huge "bowl" of unspent love, and with it the need for a reciprocal return of warmth and care. The child in this situation is the very source, so an unlimited amount of care, guardianship, love and tenderness falls upon him. Unconsciously, a woman begins to bring up a man who is ideal in her understanding, who will experience the same warm feelings for her.
Growing up, the boy begins to feel himself the center of the universe. Later, he realizes that no one but his mother is able to guess his thoughts and desires, which means that his mother is the best woman in his life. Of course, our parents and children are the most dear to us people, but the situation with sissies is a little different.
In addition to positive emotions in relations with mom, often material benefits can be traced. Moms of sissies are always ready to help immediately. It will not be difficult for them to wash, stroke, cook, and clean an adult child in the apartment. Moreover, she will arrange her “adult baby” in a good place to work for acquaintances, and will also take complete control over potential offenders.
Benefits
Of course, in men with this psychological type, most girls find only flaws. Most often, we tend to notice only concessions in relation to parents. However, you can find the pluses in a man who is usually called "sissy". Psychology distinguishes the following qualities:
- They are romantics. Men who have a close psychological connection with their mother, most likely, adopted from her part of the female nature and sensitive organization. They are able to make pleasant surprises, romantic dinners and gifts. Such men will easily choose your favorite perfume fragrance or bouquet of flowers.
- Care. He "lightning fast" will rush to your aid if you need it.
- Consistent character. Such a man will not defend his point of view, but will easily yield to you, even if he was convinced of his opinion a few minutes ago.
disadvantages
If your boyfriend is a sissy, then you will have to come to terms with a number of his shortcomings, since it makes no sense to deal with them. These include:
- A constant demand for increased attention to his person.
- Lack of initiative and shifting responsibility to the spouse.
- Fear of making absolutely any decisions, even the most insignificant.
- Constant consultations with mom on issues in all areas of life.
For some women, such a list would be enough to avoid serious relationships with representatives of this type. The situation is much more complicated if your husband is a sissy.
What to do?
Undoubtedly, a powerful mother-in-law can negatively affect a woman who is in a relationship with her son. But sometimes the cause of disagreement in the family is much closer than it might seem. Often men behave like sissies when they are allowed to. Who! Spouse.
Why does a man crawl out of bed with a beautiful and sexy girl, and then leave for his mother to the other end of the city to have lunch there? The thing is that the beloved mom set the standards for behavior, but the spouse is not. It is very important to make it clear to a man what you accept in a relationship and what not. And if there are no rules, then there is nothing to follow.
It is important to understand that the observance of the settings and rules of the mother will continue until the beloved woman with her requirements appears.
Any girl should make it clear to her man that she expects the same respect as his mother. In addition, the spouse may try to convey to her chosen one that she and the children are more important than all the people around him. Moreover, people from the environment of the partner should be clearly aware that his spouse must be treated with respect.
Girl behavior
Everyone knows that sissy is a non-initiative man. It is very difficult for girls with such chosen ones to build relationships.
It would seem that it is simpler: you should not mess with your sissy, and there will be no problems. However, calculating this type of men can be quite difficult. They may be a successful businessman or a handsome man. Often, mama’s sons are very attractive to girls due to their romantic nature. But, as soon as the relationship can be equated with a serious one, then his mother immediately flashes on the horizon.
If you have managed to marry a man of this psychological type, but you want to see the head of the family in the chosen one, then take him seriously from the very beginning. Entrust all your decisions to your husband. Your partner should understand that you are a weak girl, unable to cope with the difficulties of life without the help of a representative of the stronger sex.
Be feminine
If you want your partner to show his masculine qualities, then do not be afraid to seem weak and defenseless. You should regularly show him your beauty, sexuality and tenderness.
Your chosen one should always want to return home, and there a loving girl should wait for him, and not “drank”.
be patient
A man who depends on the opinion of his mother is very sensitive to criticism and reproaches. Everyone knows that any mother praises her child and assures him that he is the best. As mentioned above, sissies are used to feeling like the center of the universe.
It is in your interest to learn how to express your dissatisfaction in a calm tone. Try to provide arguments and explain in detail the reasons for your discontent.
Who benefits?
The former is a sissy, so I had to leave. Few women are willing to put up with this state of affairs and continue relationships with this type of man. But! If you are a strong woman with a male core, then life with a sissy can be a great option for you. Spouse will always agree with you. Moreover, the fear of female authority will not allow him to change you. Of course, this is not a fact!
In any case, the decision on such a relationship is made by the woman. If she is ready for this, then she will have to come to terms with the authority of her mother-in-law, as well as the indecision of her son.
Advice
Mama's son is a concept that is often perceived by the representatives of the stronger sex as humiliation. Therefore, do not call your chosen one like that.
Most women's magazines try to convince any woman of the futility of such a relationship. Some representatives of the beautiful half of humanity share this point of view. Moreover, they are absolutely sure that changing a sissy is impossible. Psychologists in this regard are not so categorical.
Consider tips to help loosen the tight knot of the relationship between your chosen one and his mother:
- Do not wage open war. Try not to show your chosen one hostility towards his mother. Remember that insults or ridicule against the person dearest to him can scare him away, after which the man will easily run away from you.
- Learn from someone else's experience. If your man was already divorced, which could not have done without the participation of his mother, then keep in mind that your chosen one treats the female half with caution and distrust.
- Clearly outline the boundaries of your personal life. Designate the rules that his mother cannot violate, and also delicately set the line of what is permitted.
Is it possible to bring up?
Mama’s son is a “diagnosis”. Therefore, to reeducate such a man is unrealistic.
It is important to understand that in any case, it is necessary to establish relations with the husband's mother. She has been an authority for your chosen one all her life, so it is unlikely that your re-education will succeed.
As you know, if the situation cannot be influenced, then it is necessary to take control over it. Otherwise, regular omissions with the mother-in-law will not only ruffle your nerves, but also spoil your relationship with your lover.
Try to get out only together with your spouse on travel, cinema, theater or hiking. Do not forget to have romantic dinners. If you are a real family, you should spend time together, without involving your spouse's mom.
If you live with his parents, then insist on a separate housing. In an extreme case, then it will be very difficult to leave, especially for your chosen one.