How to return a girl? Psychologist's advice

How to return a girl after breaking up? There is an opinion that this is not worth doing, because you cannot enter the same river twice. But each situation is individual, and it is up to the youngest person to decide whether to try to restore relations or not. Let's reflect.

Why is this needed?

A guy who wants to return a girl needs to understand what goal he is pursuing. It should be a sincere dialogue with oneself.

Sometimes it happens that a young man is subconsciously led by a desire for revenge. The initiator of the breakup was a girl, and he wants to achieve it again in order to become the master of the situation, and then break the relationship himself. Then the game is not worth the candle. As a result, there will still be two losers.

Among young people there are perfectionists, real fighters who do not like to lose. Their motive may be the desire to prove something to oneself. In this case, the question should be asked - is it worth it to return the ex-girlfriend, just to amuse pride? Why waste your time for which you can find a more worthy application?

And if love?

It so happens that sometimes people begin to value a partner only after parting. The guy realizes that the feelings are alive and wonders how to return the ex-girlfriend. But only those who doubt themselves behave this way, are captive to their emotions and actions of another person. As a rule, the decision is made by the girl, and the young man simply does not take any steps to save the relationship. And then he bites his elbows, for it is easier to save than to restore.

Confident of themselves and their actions, the guys do not wonder how to return the girl after parting. Feeling feelings, they ponder their decision for a long time, but after its adoption they are no longer subject to doubt. If the initiative comes from a girl, they do everything to change the situation while they are in a relationship.

But both those and others have quarrels, mistakes and moments of misunderstanding. Returning the girl at such moments is easier than after the final separation.

After a quarrel

While people quarrel, there is energy in the relationship, which means that something catches both. Confidence in the presence of feelings is the main thing that should lead a man. You can begin to act as soon as the realization of your mistake has come. You should call to arrange a meeting and spend it in a romantic place that evokes pleasant associations. It is very important to convey an understanding of the problem, apologize and translate communication in a positive way.

Is it possible to return a girl if she is offended and does not make contact? Such behavior in no way indicates a lack of feelings, therefore, it is necessary to act taking into account the individual characteristics of the chosen one.

To organize a meeting, you can enlist the support of friends or close relatives. Let her perceive her as random. The guy needs to express joy from an unexpected date and start a conversation on a friendly note, so that the girl feels more confident. It must be remembered that apologies and sincere repentance are the main conditions in order to return the chosen one. To do this, you can use a number of ways.

For romantic persons

If unexpected surprises have never been used before, they will help melt the heart of a beautiful woman. As an apology, the following techniques will be most successful:

• A request for forgiveness in a live television or radio broadcast that will surely amaze her imagination.
• The appearance at the place of work of the chosen one with a luxurious bouquet of flowers.
• A serenade under the window or a flash mob with the participation of friends who will not leave anyone indifferent.
• Banner design with her portrait and declaration of love.
• The achievement of a feat, finally. It can be a parachute jump, a motor trick, the conquest of a mountain peak. The main thing is that the video with dedication reach the addressee.

There are many ways to return your girlfriend after a misunderstanding. One has only to turn on fantasy. And the guy’s actions here are based on confidence in the feelings of the chosen one. It was much more difficult when a breakup of relations occurred and there was no such confidence anymore. What to do in this case?

Analysis of the reasons for the breakup

We will have to start with reflection and understanding of what lies at the root of the gap. It is necessary to distinguish between the occasion and those deep contradictions that lead to separation. We talked about an occasion (quarrel, misunderstanding, someone’s mistake) a little earlier. If we are talking about a long-term relationship, then it is understood that the basis was love. So, the problem lies in the plane of interaction. Psychologists distinguish three groups of contradictions that lead to separation:

1. Competition, the struggle for leadership. In interpersonal relationships, there are no winners. If a woman wants to command, and it is important for her that the last word be left to her, and the man is not ready to give in, conflicts will be inevitable. In the end, this can lead to disappointment.
2. There will certainly be a problem how to return a girl or wife, if you blame only the partner for the failures. Shifting responsibility to another, feeling always right will necessarily lead to the refusal to continue the relationship on the part of the person who is considered guilty.
3. The desire to remake a partner. The basis of such attempts is the rejection of the personality traits of a person, which causes constant irritation. But people are not ready to change under the pressure of anyone, even if it is a person close to them. Over time, irritation will develop into outright anger and even hatred.

There may be other reasons that should be discussed with your partner, if possible. You need to understand: awareness of problems is half the success of returning a loved one.

Good chances

Having understood the reasons, you should try to correctly assess your chances of success. So, you broke up with the girl. How to return its location? It should be well understood: not all relationships can be saved. We list the cases when this is possible with a high degree of probability:

• She was not the initiator of the breakup, during which the couple managed to do without insults and maintain a friendly disposition towards each other.
• Due to a quarrel or misunderstanding, both agreed to a pause in the relationship, after which no one took responsibility for solving the problem.
• You have reliable information: the girl does not have a new partner. This will greatly facilitate the return process.
• The ex-beloved takes steps indicating that she has feelings or a desire to return the chosen one. It can be unambiguous posts in social networks, statements in the presence of mutual friends, appearance in those places where there is a chance to meet.

Ways to return the girl after the separation as soon as possible are different. We will dwell on them a little lower. First, we will analyze situations that indicate the impossibility of restoring relations.

What relationship is impossible to save

Everything in this world is of course. It is impossible to save something that does not exist in reality, that takes refuge only in our head:

1. Man continues to live in the past, creating and preserving his illusory world, although in reality these relations have long been loneliness together.
2. How to return an ex-girlfriend, if in fact the separation occurred at the beginning of the journey, and both did not even have time to figure out, are they suitable for each other?
3. The couple lives at a distance, and between partners there is only virtual communication.
4. The girl initially had no sincere feelings, there was only calculation or the need to satisfy sexual desire. Undivided love is the road to nowhere.
5. The guy has poor development, which became an obstacle to the continuation of the relationship. He is emotionally dependent, so with the insistence of the possessed he clings to his partner, causing pity or inciting hatred.
6. Mutual interest disappeared, replaced by indifference. There is no desire to prove something or even quarrel.
7. Relationships bring pain, drain strength, and do not nourish and bring joy.

Psychotherapists often use the term "dead relationship." If the guy will be allowed some kind of "cant", how to return the girl after? The partner’s attitude in these cases excludes the presence of sincere feelings, so you can’t talk about forgiveness. Only lovers are capable of it.

Should be categorically excluded

People who are not able to analyze and are emotionally dependent should contact a specialist. Otherwise, they will make mistakes that either will not lead to a result, or will strengthen the state of internal discomfort. The guy will become even more dependent, turning into a neurotic personality.

In general, you should set yourself the task of how to return the girl without requests and without humiliation. And so, categorically you can not do the following:

• Show yourself as a loser: fill in experiences with alcohol, do not monitor your appearance, stoop to messy relationships, etc.
• To beat to pity and bother with constant confessions.
• To exert pressure on mutual friends and girlfriends, demanding support from them.
• Fall into deep depression, abandoning the struggle for relationships in the presence of feelings.
• Trying to "buy" a girl, literally throwing flowers and gifts on her.

As a result, the guy needs a fundamentally new relationship, rather than restoring communication for a short time. Therefore, you should take what happened with a positive attitude. After all, it helped to understand the value of a relationship with a particular girl.

Will a love spell help?

For believers, prayer will be a great support. Appeal to the church will restore order in the head, add strength and calmness, help not to get depressed. You should turn to the Lord himself, the Guardian Angel or Jesus Christ for help. Among the saints helping to return the beloved, and Matrona of Moscow. We offer you the text of a short prayer that can be addressed to her.

Matronushka Holy! I turn to you a prayer! Please save my love, turn the slave (name) back! Ask the Lord for blessings! I pray you with words from the soul! With a bow, Matronushka, to you, amen!

Many are interested in how to return a girl with a love spell. We offer you a rite for which only candles and an apple are required. But there is one condition: you should first turn to a professional fortune teller. You need to find out if the Universe approves of the steps you are taking to return your beloved. Only after receiving news of a positive reaction can the rite itself be performed.

On a piece of paper you need to write the name of the girl. It is advisable to make it your own blood. During the execution of the action, it is necessary to present the image of the chosen one. In a ripe red apple, you need to make a hole in which to place a note. Then say the words of the spell out loud:

“As Adam ruined the apple, so that the soul of the slave (girl's name) through the apple fell in love with the slave (her name). May it be so! Amen!"

After that, the apple should be buried in any secluded place. By this, the guy as if transmits a message to the Universe: "I want to return the girl after breaking up!" And she will definitely respond.

Action plan

The steps suggested above will add confidence. But you should rely on your own competent actions. Parting - this is an experience for the girl herself, who will closely monitor the behavior of the former.

At the very beginning, she wants to get an answer to the question whether the guy is going to do something to return her or not. Then she will certainly be interested in whether he is alone or is looking for a replacement for her. And, most importantly, how much he understands the problems that led to the gap.

Our advice on how to get a girl back is based on the psychological state of the latter and on tried-and-tested ways of realizing what was planned. This requires a clear plan of action, which should not be derogated from, as if the young man did not want to.

It consists of five stages. We give a brief description of each:

So, we briefly examined how to return the girl. The psychology of relationships is a rather complicated thing. And there are exceptions to any rule. Let us dwell on the details.

Relationship pause

If the recognition of the error comes immediately, it is very difficult not to try to immediately make amends, not to reach for the phone and not to control the personal life of the former lover. When a girl does not answer calls or answers “no”, the young man panics, and this is not the best companion. Inner fear paralyzes and makes you make mistakes after mistakes.

We must wait until the girl has cooled down. How to return the relationship, if resentment is still alive and the person is controlled by emotions? It is necessary to release the situation and use the resulting pause as efficiently as possible.

To do this, firstly, completely exclude any contacts, including SMS messages. Moreover, if earlier it was customary to greet each other in the morning or wish good night every evening. It is important that the girl also figured out herself and begin to get bored.

Secondly, devote time to yourself. It is allowed to work on the appearance by visiting a hairdresser and shopping; change the atmosphere while going on a trip; tidy up your accommodation and even flirt with the girls. In these two to three weeks, it plays on you. Already more than one guy returned the former girl, causing her jealousy.

Thirdly, after analyzing the causes of the gap, it is necessary to work on their elimination. So, if the former darling does not like the temper of a guy, he should do yoga or visit a specialist psychologist and post information about it in the public domain. It is very important that the girl learns about the changes in his life.

Trust recovery

The first telephone conversation in 2-3 weeks is reconnaissance. The motive should be neutral and the dialogue friendly. For example, a guy urgently needs a specific textbook, and he wonders if she forgot it from her. Everyone needs a different time for recovery, so you need to be prepared that the former still does not want to talk.

But if the intonation is friendly, and the reason for the conversation is chosen correctly, the young man will receive quite polite phrases in response. The main thing is not to start a showdown and not to recall the past. How to regain girl’s confidence? We must convince the chosen one that in front of her is a friend who is capable of acting for her. If she does not seek to support the conversation, she can extend the pause for another week, but the transfer of communication on friendly tracks is necessary.

You should find out about her problems and try to help in solving them. But you do not need to be imposed, so you should not appear in her life often, while demonstrating positive changes. Before her should be no longer a guy from the past, memories of which cause a negative.

Answering the question of how to restore the girl’s confidence, it should be recognized: this is possible only through the stage of restoring friendships. They need regular communication, so you should share the news from your life, involving it in the orbit of what is interesting to her. The former should herself want to again become part of the life of the chosen one.

A week after the first phone call, it’s nice to arrange a meeting, without revealing the real goal - to return the girl. Communication should be easy and comfortable. The former will surely ask herself the question: why did the pleasant changes in the guy happen after the separation, and not in the relationship. She will start looking for problems in herself and wondering why he is not trying to get her back.

After that, you can proceed to the active phase of return, translating communication on a romantic track. A candy-bouquet period is again necessary, but after the resumption of close relations it is advisable to withstand a week-long pause. This is necessary for the girl to first talk about her feelings.

It is very important to maintain a balance of relations in order to avoid further problems and build the girl’s confidence that the next time the guy will not go anywhere.

If another appeared

Many young people give up after they find out: the girl went to another. How to return it and can it be done if an opponent appears?

Here you need to understand. If the breakup occurred because the girl had a new love, this is one situation. If the relationship began after the decision was made to leave, - another.

In the first case, you need to understand: unrequited love is not the best foundation for a relationship. If the guy’s feeling is very strong, and he decided to fight, you need to ask yourself if he can forgive the betrayal in the future. Truly, to never reproach and never return to the past. Psychologists say: few can do it.

In the second case, the situation is slightly simpler. For such a short time, it is unlikely that the former darling found a worthy and loving man. Most likely, this is a way to quickly forget the past. The guy has a task: how to return the girl’s feelings to herself?

To do this, you need to be near, build friendly communication, not showing jealousy and aggression. After the breakup, the former became a completely free woman and has the right to a new relationship. Another thing is that in them problems will surely arise, misunderstanding. The friendly participation of the former will be simply necessary.

Do not insult or humiliate an opponent, engage in assault or otherwise express your claim to a girl. The main thing is to always win a comparison with him: to become more restrained, more confident in himself, more reliable, more generous.

The former has an advantage: he knows her preferences, hobbies and even weaknesses better. You can always bring her some joyful moments: order her favorite melody on the radio that she listens to, be the first to inform about the tour in the city of her favorite music band, get tickets for it, and help with choosing a smartphone.

A woman, unlike a man, is able to fall in love in gratitude for a good attitude. This should be remembered. But at the same time, the guy needs to maintain independence - a quality that is very much appreciated by the opposite sex.

“Out of love” - is this a sentence for a relationship?

The most difficult case is when a girl breaks up a relationship, losing feelings and interest in her partner. Then it is entirely possible that the plan proposed in the article may not work. How to return an ex-girlfriend if she fell out of love?

Be patient and understand that no one will give an absolute guarantee. It is necessary to revise your own motivation and give yourself an honest answer: how important is this woman. It is possible that a person simply lives in the past, not finding support in the present. She does not really believe in herself or is emotionally dependent on her partner. Then he should work with a specialist to cope with a neurotic condition.

But why do many people still ask: how to return the love of an ex-girlfriend? Perhaps they are connected by a joint child, a common business, or they want to use all the opportunities to save the relationship, so as not to worry in the future.

The main thing you need to be prepared for: you will have to re-conquer your former lover. She will have to return to her life gradually, unobtrusively, creating an aura of happiness around herself. Only comfort, positive emotions and friendly participation can help the beloved to realize that it is with you that she can build a harmonious relationship.

If it is not possible to meet regularly, and the girl herself does not make contact, it is necessary to look for options for constant intersections. You may have to change your job or share her hobbies by visiting the same club, section or fitness center. The guy has a difficult task - to become a true friend, to demonstrate those personal changes that are important for the chosen one and, finally, to constantly prove the authenticity of their feelings.

It should be remembered that a return can guarantee the development of relations only under the condition that the reunion will occur at a new qualitative level, taking into account past mistakes.