When it comes to a real man, as a rule, they mean a self-confident person who is ready to take everything he wants from life, even if sometimes he will have to go over the heads of his rivals. However, there is such a type as a feminine guy. He is characterized by soft temper and lack of aggression. Why?
Effeminate formation
Female character traits are manifested in people brought up exclusively by grandmothers, mothers, aunts and sisters. There was no one to give them an example of male behavior. Mothers often do not allow children to fight, climb trees, get involved in funny alterations. If a boy is taught to sit quietly on the sidelines, because the world is full of danger, it is likely that he will not crawl out of his cozy nest either at 20, or at 30, or at 40.
It is sometimes useful for children to beat their knees on the asphalt, tear sneakers, playing football. This is really a small fee for acquired life experience. When a mother talks about everything, she gains the status of authority, and then it is extremely difficult to get rid of hyper-care, start to do something on her own, get out from under her wing, and even more so take responsibility for her own family.
Parents sometimes protect us from everything except their own care. Building a protective wall around the child, the mother sometimes does not notice how the barricade turns into a cage.
As a result, the young man has a effeminate character. Instead of solving difficult situations, dealing with them, he avoids them, prefers to accept the worst living conditions, rather than take risks and achieve the desired heights. Such people often do not even make plans, because they do not believe in their implementation into reality. For them, improvements always hover somewhere in the realm of fantasy, an impossible dream, too good to be true.
How to recognize a passively feminine type of man
The feminine guy moves smoothly, he has elegant features and a calm voice. Although there are people who talk with excessive pathos and manneredly, they excessively show emotions and exalt the importance of their own mood. Something they remind scandalous ladies. But if a woman sometimes paints a little harm, speaks of her passion and temperament, then the representatives of the stronger sex immediately lose their masculinity in the eyes of others.
It’s good when it’s just a mask, and a man jokes in this way, but can at any time switch to a serious tone and solve the problem that appears on his way. For some people, femininity is really just an image. Much depends on what exactly the person took from the character traits of the opposite sex.
Stereotypes
There are a lot of stereotypes in society. It is sometimes believed that a effeminate man is one who does not watch football with a bottle of beer in his hand and would rather go to the theater than to go fishing. It was believed that the standard is James Bond in a chic suit with a gun or at least a bad guy with bristles and a motorcycle in a stained leather jacket.
Subconsciously and instinctively, girls pay attention to self-confident and sometimes even arrogant men, and the stamp “feminine guy” is hung on any quiet man who enjoys measuring his muscles and fighting for territory seems dubious.
Responsive and understanding people
Someone is being overly puffed. But girls like effeminate guys who not only achieve them and enjoy their own achievement, as yet another conquered peak, but are capable of sympathy, empathy, simple spiritual conversation. In school years, they rarely shine with female attention, but when the mind takes precedence over hormones, ladies understand that, in addition to a sexual partner, it would be nice to find a friend in one bottle.
People cultivating their masculinity are often self-confident, treat a woman as a beautiful thing whose main task is to decorate and appease them. All light and attention should be directed to it, and the companion is only a beautiful element of the background, staff or a toy.
Inability to real life
However, it is not worth categorically saying that a effeminate man is a more elevated form of life than an ordinary guy who likes to fiddle under the hood of a car in his garage and drink beer with friends. Overly narcissistic and not capable of loving anyone other than themselves come across, magnifying their own beauty and imaginary superiority over those around them.
Such a person thinks that he is too handsome for gray city streets laden with rubbish and clogged city transport, that his sublime spiritual organization allows him to look down on others and parasitize on them.
It is usually difficult for such people to explain that in order to eat and pay for utilities, you need to work. And sometimes it can even be work at a construction site or a cashier in a supermarket. And they come to this periodically, because at the time when ordinary people are bustling and making plans for the future, a handsome guy thinks that his external data, charm, sense of humor and uniqueness will certainly not allow him to be on the street.
But then the harsh realities of life emerge from the fog of illusions. Guys with a female appearance at such moments turn into pathos of cynics and fatalists, disillusioned with life, not recognized by the society of geniuses, ideal against the backdrop of a cruel world. Instead of changing something, they prefer to blame others for what happened.
Family life with a feminine man
Too handsome a man can be moody, and even more trouble with him than with a child. His gallantry and courtesy is enough for a candy-bouquet period. After the couple comes together, such a person literally sits on the woman’s neck. She cooks, erases, cleans, while working, while he “rewards” her with the opportunity to contemplate his beautiful face every day and be nearby - an opportunity not accessible to ordinary mortals. Doubtful gift of fate.
He is unlikely to take responsibility for the household, will resist when entrusting him with some business, talk about his tiredness and problems, and having caught a cold, he will certainly write a will.
Many women like to take care of someone and even more - to suffer, bear a cross and a noble burden, so they willingly take responsibility for their lover. When he talks about how bad he is, the fair sex blames herself, painfully seeks out mistakes in her actions. Perhaps she lacked tenderness, and in the depths of his soul hides a bright and sincere light, hidden by protective barricades.
Women are capable of naively believing for years that in fact their chosen one is simply a fallen angel, who painfully bumped into cruel realities, who was undeservedly condemned, who went through difficult trials. And only she will be able to revive his faith in himself and awaken masculinity.
For selfish natures, such partners are energy donors and a means of self-affirmation. In their direction, from time to time they are thrown by sharp remarks and hints that they can do perfectly without them.
Why aren't they abandoned?
A woman only clings to her "jewel" more. After all, he is so special, unique, unusual. There are few of them. Moreover, everyone has already married, so you need to enjoy this. A little more effort - and he would definitely trust her, he would become sincere. Moreover, in society he is known as a polite, courteous and gallant man, the dream of every woman. How to resist the temptation to show off to friends? Misunderstandings happen when a child appears in the family.
If the guy is very feminine, sometimes he is able to love only himself and does not find much pleasure in giving something to someone, spending his precious time and energy on at least 18 years of heir growth. His darling has little time to run around him, which is why the passive-feminine type feels depressed and unnecessary, despite the fact that the family really needs him. Only we are talking about help and care in the real world, rather than praising its subtle mental organization.
Secret ambitions
Representatives of the stronger sex want to feel themselves masters of the situation, and if they do not succeed in the business and public spheres, it is possible to use the most ridiculous ways to establish their own significance. However, from the outside it is like the barking of a small dog who will never really bite.
Behind external humility may be hidden aggression. It is not for nothing that they say that quiet lunatics are much more dangerous than violent ones, because you will not recognize them at first sight. Man must give free rein to his senses.
Feminine nature often develops due to hidden fears of defeat. It’s better not to try to do anything at all than to disgrace everyone in sight. Masculinity is primarily the ability to go to your goal and achieve it at all costs. If the absence of these traits makes a person uncomfortable, closes the door in front of him for a promising achievement, stops him before making steps to dreams, works with a psychotherapist who helps to get rid of complexes and open his masculine “I”, to believe in yourself.
How can a man use femininity in his character
In behavior, the passive-feminine nature is manifested by compliance, gentleness and courtesy. In today's world, these qualities are useful. Gone are the days when, in order to succeed in society, it was enough to have large muscles and fists to conquer the largest piece of meat for the family. Today, money is earned through the ability to communicate with people, courtesy, observation and insight.
So a feminine guy can be a great breadwinner and a wonderful family man, especially if he is supplemented by a confident and practical spouse. There are also many determined ladies with a masculine character , so each customer has his own buyer. Difficulties arise when a person is not able to defend his point of view, position and belief, bends under circumstances.
In feminine features there is nothing wrong. Another thing is how to use them. Unrealized plans, lost opportunities turn a shy person into a home tyrant. Such men can be courteous and fearful when communicating with higher officials, but then recoup on loved ones. In order to at least somehow assert themselves, they show their “masculinity” or its remnants where no one gives up change and cannot trample their self-esteem even deeper into the mud.
How to instill confidence
The effeminacy is not always limited only by character traits. A guy with a feminine figure has wide hips compared to the waist. It does not fit with the classic athletic triangle of the shoulders and torso. Such people are very complex, but they are helped by sports, muscle building in the shoulder girdle.
Going to the gym has a positive effect both psychologically and like any sports club. Exercise relieves stress, increase self-confidence. So, in addition to unwanted deposits on the hips, a person gets rid of fears and bad thoughts. To improve mood and increase courage, it is sometimes enough just to go for a run in the evening or beat a pear.
It’s quite another matter - a handsome guy who uses charm and the ability to analyze the emotional background of others in order to achieve favor from friends, family and superiors. Polite treatment, courtesy open many doors in society, new steps in the career ladder. Such people are like water that flows around stones, and does not cut into their forehead.
The guy’s appearance is no less important than the girl’s, although it is believed that the main thing for a man is a good sense of humor and a tightly packed wallet. But who says beauty is bad? Well-groomed and stylish appearance is a plus for any person, no matter what his gender. It is wrong to identify with masculinity sandals dressed on top and socks and a drop of ketchup on a T-shirt.
Many guys pluck their eyebrows, dye their hair, use foundation, nail polish. Reasonable and moderate use of cosmetic products is not a crime at all. Nobody talks about extremes, but why not improve what can be improved? From a simple principle? Do you remember at Pushkin: “You can be a sensible person and think about the beauty of nails ...”? To the best of all this will make the appearance only more attractive.
It should be understood that the feminine face of a guy is not a sign of his depravity and lack of principle, or, conversely, holiness and high moral ideals. Behind the exterior hides a lot of hidden details, which at first glance you can not see.
Femininity in a man manifests itself in different ways - in a positive or negative way, just as a woman can be self-confident and sexual, or simply groomed and doubt her own abilities. The habit of monitoring your appearance, the ability to negotiate peacefully with people without pressure and pressure are qualities in which there is nothing shameful. They serve the individual only to the benefit.