In any dictionary, textbook on psychology, and in almost every journal article on the topic of jealousy, it is said that this feeling is negative and it is necessary to get rid of it. But if this is an instinct laid down by nature, then it is given to us for the good? After all, no one calls to stop blinking, and does not offer to fight the desire to remove his hand from the burning fire. Then why do psychologists give recommendations on how to deal with jealousy? Because the basic instincts aimed at the survival of individuals in the world of wildlife, in the conditions of society not only lose their protective function, but also become the cause of health problems, both mental and physical.
Scientists have proven that a feeling of jealousy provokes the release of vasopressin into the bloodstream - a hormone that causes vasoconstriction, reflex muscle contraction, and increased pressure. That is, the uncontrolled behavior of some men and women under the influence of this emotion is easily explained in terms of physiology. But if a woman is prone to emotionally express her feelings, then the man reacts to the release of the hormone by the action. Therefore, manifested male jealousy becomes the cause of beatings, and suppressed causes health problems for the jealous.
How to deal with husband's jealousy
As a rule, both partners to a greater or lesser extent suffer from destructive experiences. In such cases, psychologists give recommendations on how to deal with jealousy in order to reduce the level of nervous tension that causes physical malaise and to establish family relationships.
Famous psychologists of the twentieth century, such as Z. Freud, E. Byrne, E. Erickson, argued that a jealous character was established in the infant period of development and expressed a degree of confidence in the world. The negative experience of relations with the mother leaves an imprint on the whole subsequent life and forms the desire for total control over people.
If both spouses want to maintain a relationship, experts urge the man to reconsider the strategy of partnership behavior, to realize that the marriage is not a basis for suppressing the identity of the wife.
Another important aspect of maintaining peace of mind is self-confidence. For those who suffer from uncontrolled agonizing attacks of jealousy, psychologists advise purposefully to engage in increasing self-esteem.
There are many effective ways to deal with jealousy: Louise Hey offers to read affirmations, Alexander Sviyash advises practicing active forgiveness, Orthodox priests recommend a special prayer - everyone will find the most suitable method for themselves. All these techniques are aimed at changing attitudes towards the world, towards a partner, towards oneself. Learn to love and respect yourself, trust people, build creative, mutually enriching relationships.
However, success in the fight against negative quality will only be achieved by one who himself wants to change. If the husband is convinced of the correctness of his life position and does not consider it possible to respect the personal space of his loved ones, seeks total control in all areas of interpersonal relations, advice on how to deal with jealousy will be useless. Unfortunately, such cases are rarely amenable to correction. What to do with jealousy, which takes on painful forms and cripples people's lives? Tolerate humiliation and beatings, keeping a family for the sake of children? But isn't an unfavorable psychological family climate harmful to children's health? The wonderful psychologist Andrei Kurpatov in his book Beauty and the Beast on this occasion gives the woman advice to figure out who she really faced: with the enchanted Prince, who needs emotional support, or with a man of low moral standards, looking for a reason to enjoy her humiliation . The first will help a professional psychologist. With the second you need to leave.