Many girls wonder what to do if the husband is jealous. It seems that everything in life is good, children grow up, a family has wealth, a loved one gives flowers, and he has no bad habits, but the man does not let go of his friends. Why? The causes of jealousy and ways to deal with it, read below.
Definition
What is jealousy? This is the feeling that a person has when he sees that someone else likes his things or loved ones. Jealousy gives rise to fear that a stranger is able to take away what he does not want to give to him at all. It must be said that the instinct of the owner is more developed in men. That is why the expression jealous husband can be heard more often than the phrase jealous wife. Women are prone to envy, they want to possess what they do not have. Men are mostly realists. Therefore, the envy of their hearts rarely bothers, but the fear that they may lose the most precious and beloved often eats many members of the stronger sex.
And can jealousy be useful?
In small doses, everything is useful to a person. Therefore, even a jealous husband pleases his wife if he skillfully doses his shortcoming. After all, any woman is pleased when they take care of her, talk to her and accompany her to work or a store. In some men, jealousy goes beyond borders. They just gently control their wife. Limiting a person’s freedom in one area of ​​life, he needs to compensate for it in another area. Therefore, many men prefer to put a woman on a pedestal, and she does not give cause for jealousy for this.
But this, of course, is an ideal option. In most cases, the husband is jealous of no reason. And he does it not in a soft form. A man can scream at a woman, beat her so that she confesses to the atrocities that she did not commit. Such tyrants should not be tolerated. After all, this neglected form of jealousy and it must be treated in a psychiatric hospital.
Self-doubt
A jealous husband is not always a disaster for a woman. You need to be able to distinguish between the reasons that a man is guided by committing a particular act. If you understand the logic of his actions, then it will not be so difficult for him to help. One of the most common causes of jealousy is self-doubt.
How is it that a person loses faith in himself? Men work hard, and they are used to seeing the result of their work. But it happens that friends and acquaintances do better. They can afford a luxury car, branded clothes and the most beautiful girls. But what remains for men, with an average income? All that did not fit the rich. This is how self-confidence is born. A man seems to make a lot of effort, but they all turn out to be useless, because friends who work have the same result more. A woman who connected life with such a man should remind him that happiness is not in money and status is not. Indeed, perhaps rich friends do not have a family, and they are forced to fill the void with attributes of luxury that do not bring pleasure at all.
Uncertainty in the chosen one
Family problems begin where jealousy is born. A man can demand an explanation from a woman where she disappeared last night. Moreover, the husband can just “boil” to the quite honest answer that she had a girlfriend. He does not trust his wife and often can even check her. For example, to spy on a woman when she returns from work or when she went to her mother. The psychology of men's jealousy lies in their own insecurity. After all, the husband understands that his wife is a beautiful and intelligent woman, and therefore can meet a more wealthy and attractive man. These thoughts can even become an obsession. Moreover, other men get insane, they invented an illusion for themselves, and for them it becomes a reality.
How can a man be helped in this situation? It is worth raising his self-esteem. It will be enough to daily inspire your chosen one that he is the best that has happened in your life. From time to time you can give him presents and arrange romantic dinners. The main task is to convince the man that he is beloved and desired.
Mistakes in the past
Family problems can also arise through no fault of the spouses. It may seem strange, but some people can be jealous of their ex. Moreover, this manifests itself even when, for example, the ex-husband of the wife lives in another city or, in general, has died. The man thinks that the previous companion of his chosen one was better than him. In this case, you need to convince your husband that this is not so. You can increase your self-esteem by honest stories about the mistakes of the former and how good you are in the present.
Sometimes a husband’s past interferes with family life. For example, he is too accustomed to his ex-girlfriend and treats his wife as his previous chosen one. He may even be jealous of her for reasons for which she is by no means to blame. This mental disorder is associated with aversion to loss. The man chose his wife not because he loves her, but because he wanted to close his spiritual emptiness. What can be done in such a situation? Either leave the man or try to reason with him, explaining the difference between his former passion and his own person
Low self-esteem
“I'm jealous of you” - this is what the wife of a man who cannot soberly look at the situation hears. After all, it is low self-esteem that instills in a man self-doubt. Everything can begin with the fact that a person up to the age of 20 has not mastered a single skill perfectly. In the future, he has nothing to support or console himself. He has to admit that time is running out, and he has not achieved anything yet.
Against this background, a young man has depression, and as a result, it often affects not only him, but also relatives. Most often, wives suffer. They are terribly jealous. This especially threatens those ladies who, according to the popular definition of clever and beautiful. Looking at his wife, the husband can understand his worthlessness. After all, a woman manages to raise a child and go to work, and look after herself. Naturally, a man is afraid of losing her. In order to reassure her faithful, a woman must tell him that everything happens in life. Now he has a black stripe. But still, you should not lock yourself in, and dump the burden of your problems on your loved ones. You need to pull yourself together and continue to improve. And it’s nice to tell the man compliments, they flatten the representatives of the stronger sex with low self-esteem.
Excessive custody in childhood
The phrase “I'm jealous of you” can often be heard from a man who is in close relationship with his mother. He used to be the center of the universe for women. This is especially true if the man did not have a father. Mom idolized her son, gave him all her love and tenderness. And, naturally, growing up, a man believes that every woman will treat him like that. And when he realizes that this is not so, jealousy begins. In fact, such a man is a big child. He wants the universe to revolve around him. A woman has two choices: either she destroys her husband’s world and tells him to learn to live independently, or try to live in the illusory world of her beloved man. This is not to say which option is better. It is worth choosing the one that you like.
What threatens male jealousy to a woman
It should be understood that excessive custody of a loved one is not always a disease. Feeling jealousy is a normal manifestation of love. After all, just such an injection in the heart can show a man that a woman is not indifferent to him. If jealousy is not baseless and appears from time to time in the company of friends, this is quite normal. Many women even specifically provoke men to jealousy, arguing that this is a way to refresh the senses.
But sometimes men cross all boundaries of what is permitted. In the worst case, some even commit murder motivated by jealousy. Of course, this should not be allowed. After all, when a person becomes inadequate, then he can do anything. There are cases when a man killed not only the subject of his love, but also children and himself. Therefore, in the case when seizures of jealousy end with beating, and not just with strong abuse, you need to contact a specialist.
How to deal with jealousy
What to do if the husband cannot control himself. After each trip to a friend or because of a slight delay at work, a scandal ensues. And the reason is jealousy. The advice of the psychologist in this case is the same. In no case do not give a man a reason to raise a scandal. Do not make fun of him or scoff at him, trying to refresh feelings. If it is easier for a woman, then she can consider jealousy as a cold. After all, you will not open a window to a sick person so that he is ventilated. So here, it is better to answer all questions without hiding. Even if they are too thorough. But it can be practiced a day or two. If such inquiries become an evening ritual, then they must be stopped. Why? Yes, because a person becomes obsessed. In this case, you need to contact a family psychologist.
For prevention, if you know that a man is prone to jealousy, say gentle words to him and give compliments. Do not forget to confess your love and make all kinds of signs of attention. This will lead to the fact that the man will be confident in your feelings and his worries will disappear.
Is it worth it to endure jealousy
Many girls sincerely believe that they can change their chosen ones. Is it really? Not. A person changes only if he wants to change himself. It is simply impossible to impose on someone else’s way of thinking. Therefore, do not marry a person if his jealousy annoys you. It will not get better over the years. With age, bad habits only get worse. But jealousy is not a habit. This feeling and many tend to think that it is involuntary. After all, the proverb that says “is jealous means loves”. And it is true, but only if this feeling of a person is rarely visited.