Love yourself - what does it mean? How to love yourself - psychologist's advice

In life, moments often occur when a person begins to torment with any remorse, a sense of guilt or he reproaches himself for this or that act - in a word, begins to spread rot and plant oneself morally. The origins of such a negative attitude towards oneself can begin with certain situational life circumstances, and can be rooted in deep childhood. Particularly neglected cases often end in depression and psychological stagnation, so it is important in this case to understand how to love yourself and where to start the process of knowing self-esteem and self-love.

But how to get out of this state? How to love yourself? The psychology of the present time helps to solve the problem from the position of analyzing the current situation in all aspects of its possible manifestations, that is, it approaches the issue in a comprehensive manner. After all, it is impossible to eliminate a human ailment based on the failure of three mechanisms in the body, by bringing into service only one of them. Therefore, in order to find out how to love yourself and increase self-esteem, it is necessary to fulfill a number of recommendations of specialists aimed at analytical work on yourself and your own "I". What do psychologists offer, and what points should be taken as a basis?

Self-recognition

Love yourself - what does it mean in general as a verdict requiring mandatory execution? Indeed, this is how one needs to perceive the need to bring one’s thoughts and feelings in order to harmonize one’s future life without self-reproach and self-hatred. To love yourself, you must at least recognize yourself as an individual, formed personality, a full-fledged unit of society, part of society. People who look for flaws in themselves and consider their own existence useless, obviously go on the wrong path. Humiliating themselves, their human qualities, diminishing their abilities, they thereby drive themselves into a deadlock, from which it is quite difficult to get out.

How to cope with this pathology and realize your personal integrity?

• Determine for yourself your self-sufficiency. It doesn’t matter at all whether a person has a soul mate or not - he is already an integral unit of society. It doesn’t matter at all whether he has an expensive car - people cannot be evaluated solely on material wealth. It’s really possible to love yourself for no reason, because love, finances, and the like, come and go, and belonging to society remains a constant factor.
• Objectively evaluate your activities. You can not regularly look for a dirty trick in yourself and look for negative in your actions. For every erroneous action, a correct and deliberate step is taken, life does not add up only to collecting your own punctures.
• To accept oneself as a gift received from above, in the form of material with which one can and should work, and not as an unsuccessful, useless fake, thrown by a wretched fate. People themselves are the arbiters of their own destinies, sculptors of their own bodies and smiths of their own happiness, therefore only hard work can succeed, and self-criticism and lowering of hands have not helped anyone to realize themselves in this difficult world.
  

Ability to work on your weaknesses and failures

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem if your own problem seems deeply individual and practically unsolvable? Indeed, different people commit different offenses and evaluate their actions differently from the outside.

For example, how to fall in love with a woman who considers herself a miserable failure due to her external unattractiveness? She is deeply convinced that no one will ever love her, and because of this conviction, she begins to hate herself.

But how to fall in love with a teenager who regularly feels ridiculed by peers at school because of some stupid youthful stupidity, as is often the case in educational institutions in the relationship between students? Provocations from other guys depress and zombify the consciousness of the poor fellow who has been handed out and provoke him to tough introspection, self-criticism, self-flagellation and, as a result, dislike yourself.

First of all, you need to learn how to work on your imperfections:

• Being disappointed with their external data, try to do their best to fix it, and not sit back and lament overweight, for example, instead of going to the gym and giving it all there;
• Being dissatisfied with their social situation, strive for the best: to take up self-education, self-development, increase their level of intelligence by working on their own thoughts with the help of scientific and journalistic literature, and not to peel seeds in the evenings on a neighboring bench;
• having claims to your own person in terms of manifestation of weakness, go against your modesty and lack of initiative and do work on the will and power of thought, go to a martial arts club, where they teach to cultivate a healthy mind in a healthy body, enroll in yoga, where the state of mind is balanced with physical strength.

Focusing on your own result, not on someone else's

It is difficult enough to be able to overcome hostility towards one's own person and love oneself, putting someone on the podium of respect and honor and leaving oneself in opposition to one's idol on the opposite side of the scales. Why can't you praise someone? Why can not one become like someone and follow his example, focusing on other people's results? How to love yourself?

Psychology interprets comparing oneself with others as a manifestation of human weakness caused by a constant feeling of self-sufficiency and inferiority. The fact is that the mania for following someone or something is quite common. Men, for example, suffer from this in terms of professionalism and career advancement. A simple example: a work colleague drives the last brand of a car of the last year of production, becoming a deputy general director thanks to a successful project, which means (in the man’s mind) that you need to line up with the general director and fill him up with your projects like your lucky colleague to to achieve the same result and also ride on an expensive foreign car, and not scurry daily on the subway crossings and complain about their meager fate.

Psychologists, with their recommendations, slightly correct the behavioral methodology and subconscious motives of a man who thinks this way: you need not to chase the success of your colleague, you need to work on yourself, on your professional work object, in order to prove yourself in another area, to show your strength, not being guided in any way on others, but trying with their own mind, with their own ideas to achieve the coveted result. Indeed, in the pursuit of comparison with someone, it will never turn out to be better than someone. You need to try today to become better than you yourself were yesterday.

The same thing in the female world of the desire to be more beautiful, attractive, sexier than a girlfriend. How to fall in love with a woman who only does what she is fighting with her friend in the eternal pursuit of men's attention, trying to buy a dress better than hers, make her hair more beautiful than her friend, choose the same expressive makeup and even better ... In short, it is an initially failed behavioral model.

People should not compare themselves with other units of society, they should be focused exclusively on their own results, work out their own mistakes daily and try to be better every day than themselves, and not someone else.

Work on the body and thoughts

Only through hard work and a strong desire to achieve some result and to understand how to love yourself. The exercises recommended for study by psychologists suggest in this vein to pay attention to the following aspects of activity:

• Determine the root of your problem, which does not allow you to accept yourself as such.
• Analyze your attitude to this problem from the perspective of why this problem cannot be overcome.
• Display a list of theses that interfere with understanding how to love myself for who I am and try to act the opposite.

In other words, the science of human thinking offers a person to program his brain to eradicate his problems by looking deep into its original origins.

For example, a person sees the root of his problem in his excess weight and cannot accept himself as such a fat man that he is. So, you need to analyze this problem from the point of view of what prevents a person from eliminating this problem? As a result, when he displays a list of aspects that prevent him from losing weight, it turns out to be banal human laziness, love for over-consumed high-carb foods and a complete lack of physical activity.

And this means that in order to love himself, such a person needs to act on the opposite and completely reorganize his thinking, starting from the opposites: you don’t love yourself, because fat - go to the gym, don’t like your body fat on the sides - stop eating all muck and go on proper nutrition, set a goal - and just come to it.

The same applies to working on thoughts: if the problem is not in appearance, but in the subconscious, you must likewise determine for yourself the root causes of self-dislike and try to lose those negative sides of your thinking that prevent you from loving yourself.

Striving for Change for the Better

To stop moonshine and self-torture, it is necessary to strive for the best. How to do it?

• One must be able to think positively - having a pure mind and thoughts, a person gets rid of phobias and feelings of self-doubt.
• It is necessary to get rid of the negative - the entire emotional burden of negative energy prevents us from moving forward and striving for the best.
• It is required to develop your logical and mental abilities - this will certainly lead to a successful outcome of working on yourself and your shortcomings.
• You should work out the methodology of programming yourself for success - making bets on the successful completion of your activity (work, study, any other area of ​​activity), you can achieve the desired and prove to yourself your importance, which will certainly help to love yourself.

Lessons conducted on oneself always give generous results from the work performed, if there really is a great desire and focus on results.

Identification of personal principles

Surprisingly, it is often the unprincipled spineless people who often suffer from dislike for their own "I". How to learn your own self-esteem, if in life there are no priority beliefs?

• Do not tolerate deception - take the principle of not communicating with liars.
• Do not like it when they tell you what to do - put those who are pointing in place.
• Do not want to do, like everyone else - develop your own tactics of action.
• You can’t stand human arrogance - take the principle of stopping people sitting on their neck in the bud.

Oddly enough, upholding one’s own convictions through bewilderment subconsciously causes others to respect a person who has his own point of view and his own opinion on a particular issue. And the respect of others will certainly entail respect for oneself.

Promoting your own good deeds and good deals

If a person is accustomed to blaming himself for unjustified hopes, for incorrectly performed actions, for unfulfilled dreams, then you need to be able to praise yourself if everything works out. The carrot and stick method is a well-known catalyst for influencing anyone. So it is in working on yourself: how to love yourself and be a confident person?

The answer is simple: learn to respect yourself for your own small victories. What is the reason for the need for self-promotion? If after each successful transaction or giving the benefit to society, you reward yourself with a cake or some kind of pleasantness, you can consolidate in your minds the understanding of the fact that any action performed in a positive way bears fruit. This is a kind of incentive that encourages to distinguish again and again in favorable successful promotions.

Suppressing self-pity and ending self-flagellation

In order to stop the self-created attack of hatred and self-pity, it is necessary to develop in your subconscious the technique of overcoming adversity and achieving success, fueled by affirmations. How to love yourself with these affirmations themselves? This type of utterance, or rather phrases, which are encouraging motives and personify a positive attitude towards a change in mood for the better, help a lot to regain self-esteem. How to stop self-pity and stop self-flagellation with the help of such phrases? You need to speak out loud or to yourself every convenient minute for this:

• "I am a completely normal person, I do not need to feel sorry for myself."
• “I accept myself for who I am.”
• "I must not reproach myself for my misconduct."
• “I am doing great work on my mistakes” and similar self-persuasive speeches.

This may seem strange, but this technique really works.

The realization of their own positive qualities

Helping to exterminate your impulses for self-hatred is excellently helped by working with your subconscious and your positive human qualities. Having written down your really positive aspects on a piece of paper, you need to constantly put them into practice, adding pluses to your good deeds along with what you have to not love yourself for.

Thus, one can objectively put one’s misconduct and one’s successful deeds on the scales and thus balance the imbalance in feelings about oneself created by one’s own suspiciousness.

Purposefulness and achievement of tasks

The most important assistant in solving the problem of picky self, injections of conscience and guilt, is to switch your mind to setting specific tasks and goals. Striving for the best, constant employment, due to the need to work out specific actions and elevate to the set peaks, make a person grow, develop and devote less time to the process of self-flagellation. Having come a long way from painful thoughts to decisive actions, a person finally begins to feel his importance, to make attempts to become better, to focus on the result. Thanks to this, he reaches his main goal and begins to love himself for who he is.