The word "character" is of Greek origin. Once it designated a stamp for an imprint of a portrait of the ruler on coins. Its original meaning was associated with leadership qualities that the monarch undoubtedly possessed: honesty, perseverance, courage, determination and fidelity to duty.
Today, this term denotes the totality of a person’s personal qualities. According to psychologists, they largely depend on temperament and abilities.
Character is laid in childhood, and life is formed ... Does this mean that we are able to influence it without trying to justify our own weaknesses and passions with natural inclinations? But what about upbringing? Can parents influence the character of a child? These and other related questions will be answered by our article. From it you will learn how to temper character, forming those qualities thanks to which you can not only get rid of fears, weaknesses and weaknesses, but also change your fate for the better.
Who is called weak-willed?
This issue requires priority consideration. A person with a weak character easily succumbs to temptations, he is guided by impulses and resentment, and multiple fears can lead him to depression and emotional instability.
A weak-minded person cannot defend his opinion; it is easy to manage. Such a person is unlikely to be able to become a leader, but even if he is lucky in this, his own subordinates will push the unhappy as he pleases.
If you notice these cowardly features in yourself or a growing child, do not despair. Believe me, work on yourself and correction of upbringing always bears fruit. You still have a chance to temper a strong character.
What is the strength of character?
There are several basic qualities that allow a person to control instincts and passions, resist temptations and temptations.
We will consider them in detail, and analysis will help to find answers to the question of how to temper character. You will get the desired result if you work on the development of each of these qualities.
Resist impulses and passions
Aristotle also wrote about the seven main forces that settle inside man. He related the following to them:
- love;
- hatred;
- irresistible desire;
- fears;
- unbridled joy;
- anger;
- discouragement.
Of course, we experience these emotions many times a day, but we must not allow them to control our actions and influence decision making. Otherwise, they simply enslave the will, crush, take possession of all thoughts. A person who has a tempered character does not go about passions, this is the lot of wimps.
Do not allow anything other than common sense to influence you. Of course, every living person is subject to impulses, especially in a difficult situation. But it’s one thing to show emotions (a strong person is not afraid of this), and it’s quite another to surrender to their power.
How to resist irrational impulses? Train your ability to soberly look at any situation. Before making a decision, honestly ask yourself and honestly answer what exactly makes you make a choice: objective reasons or impulses of a troubled heart?
Set real goals
Sometimes life itself tempers character. In a difficult situation, the qualities of a person often appear, about which he himself did not know. However, this does not mean that you need to try to throw yourself at the embrasure alone to impress your loved one, friend or enemy. The artificial creation of a difficult situation, which subsequently will have to be heroically overcome, is often more like posturing, rather than tempering the character.
Do not try to get into trouble, even if you are sure that you will be the winner. In life, there are already enough difficulties. Take a look around - and be sure to see someone who needs a strong shoulder.
Try to get to the bottom of the matter
The owner of a tempered character is always looking for truth, root cause and essence. Especially if the situation concerns several people. You probably heard the saying that everyone has their own truth, and only truth is unique. Listen to the version of each party. Do not succumb to the temptation, without understanding, take the side of the one who is dear to you and dear. Yes, sometimes it’s not easy, but it’s not in vain that difficulties are tempered. This is the only way to stay on the good side. Protecting the wrong, you will do him a disservice.
A solution to any question can be found avoiding immersion in chaos of sensations, prejudices, conjectures, rumors, likes and dislikes.
Give up fatalism
Tell me how to temper the character, being confident that everything that happens is predetermined? And why bother working on yourself if you can attribute anything to the machinations of fate?
A person with a strong character does not consider himself either a pessimist or an optimist. He does not complain about the circumstances, but also does not remain inactive in the belief that everything will work out by itself in the best way.
Belief in the good is needed, but you cannot sacrifice a sense of responsibility for everything that’s happening for it. Recognize that everything in your life depends only on you: circumstances are exactly that as a result of your actions (or, conversely, inaction).
Appreciate what you have
Often we hear: “Well, where we are not!” Can a strong-willed person say so? How do you even know what is going on somewhere far away? Suddenly, do people have the same thoughts there?
If you decide to embark on the path of self-improvement and want to learn how to temper your character, learn to never envy anyone. Remember who is responsible for all the events in your life? All in your hands! Focus on what needs to be done to succeed, rather than longing for inaccessible goods.
Show determination
One of the main signs of a weak, weak-willed personality is the inability to say no. If you have difficulty in order to abandon the business that is not of interest to you, to limit yourself from communicating with unpleasant people, this also needs to be fought. Do not let anyone drag you into what your nature protests against.
Psychologists believe that this moment can only seem insignificant. In fact, it is not so easy to learn how to refuse. Let it not upset you that not everything will work out right away.
The ability to speak is just as important. Embark on a journey that you have long dreamed of. Finally, ask for a raise and a bonus. Decide on a serious conversation with a loved one.
Difficult? Quite. But you can start with the simplest - learn to be honest with yourself. Remember: without risk, you cannot enjoy the joy of victory!
Be interested in the opinions of others, but do not follow them
Anyone who claims to be uninterested in someone else’s opinion is very cunning. In the modern world, it is simply impossible to live in isolation from society. But a person with a strong character should be able to separate the grain from the chaff.
When making decisions, you must be aware of the consequences each step you take. Will your words hurt someone? Will actions affect someone's fate?
When evaluating this, try to be objective. Refusing to fulfill a dream just because someone from outsiders might not like it is silly. Other people's prejudices should not interfere with the goal. Of course, if you are sure that you are doing the right thing.
Respect: Do not force your will on others.
Learn to do good
Surely every parent thinks about how to temper the character of the child. There is no better method in this business than a personal example. Hundreds of your instructions and the most touching sermons will be in vain if, with your daughter or son, you will humiliate the weak and show indifference to the destitute.
Kindness may not seem to be related to strength of character. But just imagine with what eyes children look at us when we help and save!
The child, who was raised by the parent-protector, the parent-assistant, will be sure that good is the manifestation of the true strength of character.
Learn to empathize
It is important not only how to temper character, but also how to maintain a good heart. The ability to rejoice in other people's victories, without irony to share someone’s fears, to support in moments of burden - these are signs of a truly strong personality. Choke in yourself envy and gloating, get rid of these base passions, peculiar only to weaklings!
Work on your fears
It is not for nothing that they say that to be afraid of nothing is madness, not courage, but to be afraid, but to do it is real, true courage. It is impossible to completely get rid of fears, because they are provided by nature itself. Fears are a kind of protective mechanism that is designed to drive a person away from dangerous situations. Therefore, do not set a goal to completely get rid of fears, better learn to live with them.
Feeling of fear is always a test. Temperamental events surround each of us. Do not avoid them unnecessarily - learn to overcome, each time controlling your emotions. Each small victory over your own fear will temper your character and give a reason for pride.
Give credit to the sport
Speaking about how to temper the character of a man, many immediately mention regular physical exertion. But sport is also important for a woman.
This issue is especially relevant for those who do not like to hang on the horizontal bar or lift weights. Consider options, look for what will be to your liking. Perhaps your option is not a gym and fitness at all, but motocross or horseback riding?
Sport perfectly tempers the body and character. Remember: classes should be regular, and an illness can be considered a reason to miss a workout. A strong-willed person, by definition, simply cannot be a loafer or a bouncer.
Do not be afraid of kind words
Will a strong man be able to say: “I'm sorry,” “I am to blame,” “I was mistaken,” “I was wrong”? Don't you think this is a manifestation of weakness?
Remember: deliberate rudeness, intransigence, rigidity - these are not signs of strength at all. Most often, this is a mask behind which a complexing weakness is hidden.
Psychologists claim that pronouncing these words is much more difficult than spewing out flows of reproaches and accusations. Only the strongest people can recognize mistakes. Tell your loved ones about your feelings, do not be afraid to repent before them (after all, we are not all sinless). Do not be shy about it, do not skimp on sincere kind words.