At any age, the child may have the thought that his parents do not like him. First, he hides it in himself, hides fears under the "transparent" shell of a happy baby. But the young soul is haunted by one insoluble problem. What to do if your parents do not love you, do not respect you? Consider a non-independent child and avoid in every possible way? The main thing in this situation is to deal with the source of the problem and eliminate it forever!
Parental love - what is it?
Parental love is a trusting relationship in which the parent provides the child with a certain amount of affection and love, regardless of the situation. When a girl is expecting a baby, then each stage of pregnancy is accompanied by an increase in love for the fetus.
Parental love manifests itself in:
- Weasel, care, help. If you have any problem, an unsolved problem, then the parent will always support, provide moral and physical assistance.
- The family has no secrets and mysteries. Parents do not hide obvious things from you. When making an important decision that concerns the whole family, always ask your opinion.
- Parents are not shy about you. A loving father will remember with joy and trepidation that he wanted a boy, but a beautiful girl came out! Mom will boast to everyone what a wonderful boy she has and what he can do for the well-being of the family.
- Parent cherishes you. What kind of children do parents like? His, no matter how the child grows. Dad and mom will really cherish the son, protect him, patronize and provide any help. This also includes devotion to the baby. Indeed, for them you are a kind of treasure, the loss of which leads to irreversible consequences.
If it seems to you that the parents provide an insufficient amount of love, then you can be seriously mistaken. Every mom and dad adore their child, only they can show this care in different ways.
Why don't parents want to love me? Causes
First you need to remember when for the first time it seemed that your parents do not like you. Was it a quarrel or a serious conflict? Or did an unpleasant situation affect you? Psychologists identify several reasons why parents can hate their baby:
- Unwanted child. One of the most common problems for couples. An unplanned pregnancy could lead to negative emotions in both parents.
- The quarrel that happened because of you. Conflict with a partner or with a child can lead to serious consequences. In such situations, it is important to understand in time that it is time to stop and admit your guilt, even if it seems that you are not to blame.
- Problems, grievances. What to do if your parents don’t love you? After all, every day, each member of the family attends work, does household chores and helps you. For this reason, a nervous breakdown may occur. To avoid it, take on homework and try to please the parent as often as possible.
Basically, because of these reasons, parents may not love the child, or the baby will think that they do not love him. In order to change this situation, prove to mom and dad that you are the best and worthy of parental love.
Economy Parents
The next step will be a few situations with which you can determine your type of family and understand what actions should be taken.
Parents didn’t like in childhood? Perhaps they just tried their best to save on fixed costs and get more profit? This type of people pays a lot of attention to work. Free minutes are spent either on family affairs, or on some very important ones. Mom and Dad can scold the child for a broken vase. They are not able to purchase a new phone, given the fact that the old is not even a month old.
On the other hand, they limit the needs of the child. Paid circles, schools, and other institutions requiring material investment are most often not taken into account. Unfulfilled dreams, children's plans suggest that my parents do not want to love me. There is only one way out - to adapt to the family, by talking to explain that you need pocket money for leisure and paid needs.
Iron Parents
The next type of family is not distinguished by increased attention to money, but reflects a strong dependence on the child. Mom and dad can often quarrel, quarrel, but they will do everything for the sake of their future child. Alas, they do not always understand that a child, in addition to firm control, needs affection, soft care.
What to do if your parents don’t love you? Do not hang up your nose and take the first step towards their correction. If composing a friendly conversation does not work, then try a kind of "rebellious" method. For a short period of time declare yourself: drop a circle, show pride and character. In any case, the conversation will be composed and the question: "Why do not my parents like me?" certainly resolved.
Misunderstanding parents
There are special families in which a child is equated with an independent person and builds his life as he pleases. On the one hand, it’s good, because with a little effort, a restrained and ready for difficulties person will be formed. On the other hand, a small child will not have the proper support, support, and indeed childhood.
For such children, the question arises: "What if the parents do not love you?". You can try several options:
- Find support in something or someone else. Look for a hobby and lock yourself in it for a while. Or find in your environment a person who would listen to you. It is desirable that he be older and have at least some authority for his parents.
- Dialog. Another way is a friendly conversation. If you make an intelligible dialogue in which it is worth presenting facts and evidence of a lack of love, then perhaps it will have a positive impact on the opinion of the family.
Parents locked on a child
The next, rather rare type of family is the one in which mom and dad have a special “sound” vector. They believe that their child occupies the top of development, is the most intelligent and quick-witted.
They do not show their love, so that the child does not relax, and does not begin to think about other ways of development. Thus, parents who demand too much from their child in the hope of providing him with a better future, take away all their free time from him. And this type of family takes care of his child too much, but does not show this concern regarding affection.
What if my parents do not like me?
After you figure out the types of families, you need to touch on effective methods to return their love and understanding. There are several ways:
- What kind of children do parents like? There is no definite answer to this, but nevertheless more parents love complaisant children. So if you are a born rebel, you should hide your bright fervor at least temporarily. Mom and Dad will definitely feel the change in your character.
- Conversation. Make a friendly dialogue with your parents, during which explain that you do not understand each other. Even a simple conversation can make mom and dad's heart tremble. The main thing is to speak sincerely, not to emulate emotions and words.
- Do something grand. If you do not study well at school, then be patient and take your good grade, which you must tell your relatives about. Change the style, manner of communication or appearance. Any event in your life can lead to a dialogue that will need to be directed in the right direction.
- Learn not only to accept, but also to give. It's time instead of tearful petitions for care to give something in return. Caress your mom, listen to your dad and try to help them daily.
Conclusion
No matter what your mom and dad are, you don’t have to wonder: “Why do parents not love their children?” You will not get a definite answer, but simply “wind” yourself. It is best to approach a loved one, say how you adore him, and in return ask for the same.
If the refusal follows, then the best option would be to talk with another person whom you can trust. In any case, you can express all your problems to a psychologist using a special helpline. Tell your school psychologist about family relationships, most likely you will find a way out of the situation.