As the hero of one of the most popular TV shows of the past decade loved to say, the eccentric doctor Gregory House - "Everyone lies." Is it so? Statistics show that even the most sincere and open people periodically tell others a lie. Why does a person lie and what pushes him to do this?
Why?
There are several main reasons that push a person to imagine the real situation in completely different colors or even hide some facts. Most often, a person lies when:
- afraid to offend or hurt the person for whom this or that information is intended;
- fears that he will be criticized or convicted, does not want to be punished for some kind of misconduct (just like in childhood, yes :));
- seeks to show itself in a better way than it really is.
A rarer, but also possible reason why a person is lying, may be rich imagination and the inability to distinguish fiction from reality.
How to determine?
A lot has been said and written about recognition of lies by non-verbal signals (facial expressions, gestures, etc.). However, the topic of how to understand that a person is disingenuous in his speech is much less often touched upon. Meanwhile, even if you lose sight of some non-verbal sign, then, as a person says, you can analyze in any case.
1. Ask questions. As a rule, people who lie are more focused on what they say, rather than on how. Therefore, it is likely that a person, without noticing it, will answer your question with the words that you said a couple of seconds ago. For example, if you ask, "Did you break the computer?" and hear in response something like “No, it wasn’t me breaking the computer” - this is one of the first signs that you are a liar.
2. Often, lie is detected by the pace and intonation of speech. A person who is forced to come up with an explanation on the go will speak a little slower than usual. If he had time to come up with an “alibi,” then most likely the speech would be a little faster (still, you need to have time to say everything before you forget it!). When a person lies, he often can add a huge number of small and insignificant details to his story.
3. Long pauses in speech and grammatically incorrect sentences, frequent repetitions - another sign of a lie.
4. If you changed the topic of conversation, and the interlocutor actively supported you in this, significantly relaxed - it means that the previous topic was unpleasant for him. It is likely that you did not hear a single truthful word from him.
5. Try to ask the interlocutor to state the events in the reverse order. If a person tells the truth, he will easily do it. But the liar will begin to get lost and panic.
Instead of an afterword
We found out the main reasons why a person is lying, as well as several ways to check the sincerity of his interlocutor. A large amount of information about lies in all its manifestations, etc. can be obtained on the Web - try searching for materials on such an interesting topic as the polygraph of lies.
However, in order for you to never have to find out why a person is lying, and think how to deal with this, try yourself to always be extremely honest with others. “As far as it comes, it will respond” - do not forget this simple truth!