Female loneliness: causes, methods of overcoming, psychological methods

Female loneliness is a common problem, which is becoming more and more clear every year. Human consciousness is changing, relationships between people are changing, the roles of sexes in everyday life and society are changing. But only one thing does not change - the pursuit of happiness. To come to the desired state, it is worth understanding the causes of loneliness and methods of dealing with them.

The essence of the problem

Before starting to consider the issue, it is necessary to determine the range of problems that female loneliness entails. Here are the main ones:

• Lack of feelings and romance. For a woman, warm words, gentle hugs and just a sense of need are extremely important.
• Lack of intimacy. This causes a bad mood and irritability, and sometimes can cause health problems.
• Lack of masculine strength. When you need to move the closet or repair something in the house, you have to turn to a neighbor for help or use the services of the “Husband for an Hour” service.
• Communication problems. As a rule, unmarried women are afraid of friends who have already started a family. Therefore, the former are rarely called in noisy and funny companies.
• Social pressure. People treat a free woman sympathetically-reproachfully. It’s very difficult to feel such pressure daily and listen to moralizing.

Objective reasons

The reasons for female loneliness can be divided into objective and subjective. The former exist independently of a particular person and, as a rule, are not subject to him. This is what it is all about:

• Lack of men. In the domestic open spaces there are approximately 10 million more women than men. Naturally, in such conditions, not every representative of the fair sex manages to find a mate.
• Pernicious addictions. According to official figures alone, 30 million men in the country suffer from all kinds of addictions (alcohol, drugs, and so on). Naturally, a woman consciously prefers loneliness to marriage with such a person.
• Quick wear. Men work much less to maintain health, appearance and vitality than the fair sex. As a rule, female loneliness of 40 years and older is connected precisely with the fact that a flowering woman cannot find a man who would be attractive in appearance, physically strong and spiritually interesting.
• Stereotypes. The society has developed the belief that a woman cannot and should not be active in meeting men. And even if the representative of the fair sex overcomes this stereotype, it is not a fact that it will be objectively perceived by a man.
• Urbanization. The frantic rhythm of a big city sometimes simply does not leave time and opportunity for representatives of opposite sexes to become interested and open to each other. In addition, a woman in a metropolis meets hundreds of men every day, among whom it is very difficult to recognize that one.

Subjective reasons

The subjective causes of female loneliness are those that are directly related to the worldview, choice and behavior of the fair sex. This is what it is all about:

• Passivity. Many women do not show any activity in arranging their personal lives, relying solely on fate. Moreover, they do not visit crowded places of potential gentlemen, living exclusively in the "home-work-home" mode.
• Obsession. The fear of loneliness in some women is so great that they simply can not control it. Without noticing it, they behave obsessively and even aggressively, which certainly scares men.
• Low self-esteem. Lack of self-love provokes fear and discomfort. This can cause her to be closed or, on the contrary, too intrusive, which is equally bad.
• Heightened self-esteem. If a woman appreciates her personal merits, this creates high demands and a picky attitude towards men. And even if she finds a gentleman to her liking, it is not a fact that he will withstand the pressure on her part.
• Aggression to the opposite sex. Women who belong to the category of aggressors are extremely biased towards men and are unhappy with everything they do. Naturally, this does not contribute to building harmonious relations.
• Inability to file oneself. Oddly enough, an impressive proportion of women suffering from loneliness simply do not have the skills of coquetry, proper behavior, choosing clothes, applying makeup and other things that make a woman a woman.
• Underestimation of the sexual factor. For women, the sensual side of relationships is much more important than the intimate. But romance and spiritual conversations will not replace a full-fledged sex life, which is so important for both sides. Trying to maximize the delay in the transition of relations to the horizontal plane, women often “give way” to men to more accommodating ladies.
• Inability to choose men. Guided by low self-esteem, fear of loneliness, social censure and other factors, women enter into a relationship with the first cavalier they come across, without thinking about the future. But after a short time, the hopelessness of the union becomes clear, which almost always leads to separation.

What else do psychologists say

The complex psychology of female loneliness makes experts talk about a whole series of reasons for this phenomenon. This is what psychologists focus on:

• Failures in previous relationships. If previously a woman dealt with a traitor, home tyrant, alcoholic or other negative character, she will project this negative experience into the following relationships. The occurrence of fear or rejection of the male sex is not excluded.

• Life priorities. Far from all women, family comes first. Modern ladies increasingly prefer a career and strive to realize themselves in a variety of fields. As a rule, such women are very busy and believe that relations will become a burden for them, hampering personal development.

• The need for independence. Some women very painfully endure any kind of restrictions and obligations. Considering that most men are looking for calm, complaisant and economic partners in life, freedom-loving ladies often remain alone.

• The negative experience of the mother. If a woman grew up, seeing the sad experience of marriage of a mother or other relative, she will definitely try on this scenario for herself. This causes a fear of relationships.

• The influence of the paternal image. There are two possible scenarios. Or he is idealized, and no man can match him. Or, he is negative, and the woman is afraid that her life partner will be the same.

• Consumer attitude. Some women start relationships with men not out of love, but for reasons of profit: career, material wealth, popularity, and more. As soon as the gentleman ceases to be useful, the union collapses.

• Neurosis. Mental problems lead to conflicts with oneself and others. Internal blocks and contradictions prevent a woman from living a full life and building relationships with the opposite sex.

Reasons for female loneliness in the zodiac signs

The constellation, under the auspices of which a person was born, has a significant impact on his fate and character. In particular, it is possible to determine the causes of female loneliness by the signs of the zodiac. The interpretation is shown in the table below.

Problem types

Female loneliness is most characteristic of several problematic types. Namely:

• "Woman man". She is straightforward, domineering and even somewhat rude. She can do everything herself and does not need outside help. She looks at strong men as competitors. Representatives of the opposite sex respect these ladies, but are afraid to start a relationship with them.

• "Woman victim." She is always tired and sad, with all her appearance she shows the need for help and attention. Given the instinct of the defender, men often pay attention to such women. But few can withstand such manipulations on an ongoing basis.

• "Mother Woman." She seeks to surround everyone and everyone, and especially her man, with care. She is also powerful and seeks to control her companion. this is precisely the problem on the way to strong harmonious relations.

• "Teenage Woman." She is cheerful, extravagant, educated, beautiful, which certainly attracts men. But she is terribly unsure of herself and does not know how to be serious, which gradually can cause a gap.

Female loneliness: how to get out of it

Loneliness is not an easy problem. This is not something that can only be solved by introspection. This requires some kind of active action and fundamental changes. But it is internal resources that are the first thing needed to defeat female loneliness. How to get out of it? Follow these instructions:

• Recognize the problem. Stop pretending that everything is in order, agree that something is going wrong in your life.
• Sincerely wish to solve the problem. You must want change, namely letting someone into your life.
• Allow yourself to be happy. What until now has been the reason for your loneliness? Eliminate these blocks from your mind.
• Open to the world. Stop hiding from others and fear them. Feel free to communicate, make new acquaintances among both men and women.
• Take action. Create situations in your life that will help you meet the man of your dreams. Attend sports clubs, exhibitions, seminars, restaurants, celebrations or go on vacation.
• Be patient. It is impossible to cope with female loneliness in one or two days. If today you have not met an interesting gentleman, do not despair, because tomorrow will be a new day and new discoveries.

Practical tips

If the problem of female loneliness has become unbearable for you, proceed with action. Practical advice will help you with this:

• Transform outwardly. Hair, makeup, figure, wardrobe - all this should give you a feeling of your own beauty and impeccability. Being confident in yourself, you will become interesting for men.
• Transform internally. If you feel emotional discomfort, if there are more questions than answers in your head, go to a psychologist. After several sessions with a good specialist, you will look at the world differently.
• Decide what you want. Describe in detail how you want to see your man, what you want from living with him. But do not hover in the clouds. be realistic.
• Analyze your social circle. Perhaps in your immediate environment there are free men who meet your requirements. To see more and communicate more with them is a matter of technology.
• Go hunting. If you dream of a man of a strong athletic build, it is logical to look for him in a fitness club. If you dream of a wealthy gentleman, visit expensive restaurants. Etc.

Religious look

When a person is burdensome, he often turns to religion for an answer. This also applies to female loneliness. In Orthodoxy, this phenomenon is perceived negatively. On the one hand, it causes sympathy. Since, if we turn to the Old Testament, Eve, being created from the rib of Adam, was never alone. Thus, a woman at an early age has a need to take care of someone, to be close to someone.

Also, female loneliness (when it comes to conscious choice) is often spoken with condemnation. It is believed that a woman should not be alone, otherwise she will not be able to fulfill her main mission - to become a wife and mother. The church values ​​the family so highly that marriage is a must for the priest.

Prayer for loneliness

If you want to find happiness, prayer from female loneliness will help you gain self-confidence and give hope. Say it every day in the morning and evening.

Lord God, Heavenly Father, show your great mercy, give me strength to throw off the burden of loneliness from your soul, free my heart from unclean influences, from dark spells, from any evil that lies on my fate. By my life I touch the Lord's Light, I cleanse it with Fire, it removes all obstacles, it illuminates my life. I feel the hand of the Lord God on my heart, I touch my great strength with my soul, and I find the basis for beneficial changes in it. Amen. Amen. Amen

Are there any pluses in solitude?

As a rule, female loneliness is perceived exclusively in a negative light. But is everything so terrible? Some women consciously choose such a life. And even if your loneliness is temporary, you should enjoy it, and not spend time in suffering. Here are the pluses you can find in female solitude:

• A free woman spared family troubles. Thus, she has enough time to engage in her hobbies, learn something new, spend time with friends.
• Free women often look better and more well-groomed than married women. Again, they have more time for themselves. In addition, being in a search state, I want to look even more attractive.
• female entertainments in solitude are more diverse than in marriage. A free lady can spend any time in a beauty salon, go shopping, visit nightclubs.
• A free woman can afford a fleeting adventure with a man she likes.
• A free woman can solve problems on her own and cover her own needs. However, she can safely take help from men.