Each of us quite often worries, thinking about something, reflecting on any of our problems. We may not even notice our inner experiences - it is quite difficult to pay attention to the fact that inside you are worried about something, although you are trying not to show it.
In this article, you will learn why people are so often worried about how they should deal with such emotions, and why you should not waste time on this. So, we wish you a pleasant reading of this article!
Why do people worry?
Experience is what has been inherent in us since childhood, even at that stage of our development, when we adopted the norms of social behavior and in almost everything tried to copy our parents and other adults around us. And they, in turn, adopted this behavior from their parents.
Since childhood, the idea that experience is a normal reaction to everything that somehow excites a person arises in the head of a child. And already from this age he begins to put this emotion into practice.
The experience is the same as the excitement that we experience when we recite the verse to Santa Claus at the children's party or at the moment when the teacher thinks of whom to call on the board. People begin to actively experience since childhood, because in their minds this is a normal reaction to what is happening around. Thus, this emotion accompanies us all our lives. Emotional experiences are what adults experience when hiring, going to the doctor, and much more.
Anxiety as an illusion of action
It is very convenient not to solve the problem itself, but only to worry about it. After all, along with this the illusion of some action is created. That is, we are not sitting idly by. We are asking something from someone else. We constantly check back what time it is. We are clarifying something, trying to find information that, in fact, cannot help us at all.
Why are we doing this? Most likely, the inner we are afraid to start the process of solving the problem. Or we are not going to solve the problem at all, because we think that we are already working on it. But in fact, our actions are aimed not so much at solving as at clarifying details. It takes too much time, and does not bring any benefits at all ...
Why should you avoid worries?
Our experiences are feelings that have to spend a lot of energy on. Over time, after serious long worries, a person may even experience emotional exhaustion, which is a serious psychological problem and will lead to many other impairments. From this it turns out that worrying about something, he not only can not solve the problem, but also gives rise to many others.
In addition, the experience of man is a killer of his own time. If you have not forgotten, then for our twenty-first century, time is the most expensive that can be, because due to the huge movement around us, time passes quickly and there is very little of it. It is worth summarizing that during the experience we spend precious minutes of our lives and our own vital energy, and in return we get absolutely nothing. For this reason, it is worth making a logical conclusion that you should not worry in vain for any reason. It is necessary to act. How to act? You will learn about this in the following subclauses of this article.
Find the source of your concern
To solve the problem, you need to understand why it appeared. At first glance, it would seem that everything is so easy and simple. But not always. There are situations when a person feels his inner anxiety, but he can’t do anything about it, because he just can’t understand why he is in this state. Sit in a quiet and peaceful place, concentrating on your emotions and feelings. And start thinking about exactly what worries you so much. Ask yourself specific questions, then listen to the feelings inside yourself and answer your question. But only truth should be answered.
For example, we give the following chain of thoughts of a girl who is facing an important speech in front of a large number of people. “Am I afraid to speak? No, this is not the first time I’ve done it, and I’m confident in my skills and preparation. I’m afraid of the big hall and the audience? No, I’ve been doing this for a long time and, on the contrary, I like to see the audience in front of me, although I’m worried every time, like the first one. I’m worried about a new place where I have to perform? Actually, no, I haven’t made a difference where to speak, I don’t pay attention to it at all. I’m scared because Did I move to a new level? Not really. Of course, I'm worried about this, but it’s most likely I’m worried that I’m not going to be close to me that day? I don’t need a whole support group, but ... still this thought catches me. I’m sorry that my young man will not be able to support I’m on such a day. Of course, he, as always, has good reasons for this. But for the umpteenth time he doesn’t come to my speeches. It seems to me that he is not at all interested in what I am doing. I'm interesting. I think he got cold to me. I think he got another woman. That’s why I’m worried. "
Make a clear action plan
After you understand what is the cause of your experience, pick up a piece of paper and a pen and write everything that, in your opinion, would help you eliminate your anxiety. We continue to analyze the example of a girl who is going to speak and who seems to be betraying her by a young man. Suppose, on her sheet, she wrote that in order to stop thinking that her man was cheating on her, you need to check the list of his contacts on the phone, see the latest correspondence in social networks. networks, order a detective who will follow the man and tell her how he behaves with other women while she is not around, to be alone with him for a while and observe how he will behave. Understand what he thinks of their joint future and whether he thinks of him at all. And in an extreme case, directly tell him about your suspicions.
Cleaning plan
Before you act according to your plan, you should edit it well. The girl should really look at the situation. She does not have the opportunity to hire a detective, because for this she does not have enough cash. If you ask about a joint future, then most likely he will simply lie to her that he sees them together after ten years in a big house with two beautiful kids, a cat and a dog, sitting next to a warm fireplace. Most likely, he will say what she wants to hear. Therefore, these two points should be deleted. But the rest is quite feasible.
Transition to action
Exercise your plan items in order. Here the girl was convinced that there were no new contacts and strange correspondence in his phone. I watched the guy’s attitude to himself - it did not change, he remained all the same gentle and caring. But it didn’t come to a direct conversation, because the beloved told the good news that he would be able to look at her performance. After that, all the girl’s experiences disappeared.
And that’s probably all. Now you know what these emotions are - experiences, what should be done and what should not, when you begin to feel anxiety. Follow these guidelines and don’t worry about anything!