It is probably no secret that the majority of the entire population of planet Earth lives with low self-esteem. For some, this is manifested more clearly, for someone less ... There is even a third type of people who know about their weaknesses, about their problem, but have learned to disguise themselves well as confident people. But what are the causes of low self-esteem? What are the signs of low self-esteem in women and men? And what if you are one of these people? If you really want to know the answers to your questions, then continue reading this article.
Rooted in childhood ... Parents can unknowingly underestimate the child’s self-esteem
Like most of our other psychological sores, this unpleasant problem is also rooted in childhood. Most often, the cause of this condition in a person is the influence of parenting on him. In the case when the child is not given enough love and attention, his self-esteem is automatically reduced by several levels. The reason for this is an ordinary habit. A person is simply not used to the fact that he can be given as much attention as everyone else. He believes that he is not even worthy of such an attitude. He is also accustomed to constant criticism from others and perceives it is always justified, even if in fact it is not. Based on such beliefs, which are stored in the deepest depths of the human subconscious, a person considers it normal that they either do not pay attention to him as a person, or that he is used to being disrespectful to him. From here, such problems as family violence, humility with the fact that a person can easily be used and no one will do anything for it, and so on. Conclusion? Love your children and pay enough attention to them and their achievements, even if they, at first glance, are insignificant for the "adult" world.
Parent "shackles" of childhood
Most children are brought up on the principle that “you must do this, you must not do this, and then you will achieve something high, good, better.” The kid remembers all such "rules" and after a while he integrates the formula of the "right" life, living by which he will become a worthy person and will achieve a lot. Just these rules can be called "shackles." Over time, it happens that a growing baby is faced with the opposite effect. That is, following the instructions of his parents, he does not reach the heights promised to them. The mismatch between the plan of the "ideal plot" and the harsh reality of life gives rise to low self-esteem in humans.
The appearance of the child. Defects causing complexes and low self-esteem
If a child in childhood (perhaps due to a disease) had any visible defects, or simply his appearance did not match the appearance of other children, this can also cause complexes and low self-esteem. Complexes are provided to a person in the event that his peers often pay attention to any deviations of the child and constantly remind him of this, making fun of him. This can not only injure the child, but also make him shy of himself. In the case when the parents themselves often focus on the defects of their baby, constantly reminding him of it or speaking of it as something negative, abnormal, the child begins to realize that something is wrong with him, and begins to become upset.
Signs of low self-esteem
Now we will consider several of these signs. They can be easily identified among people around you, but as for yourself ... Not everyone can soberly assess the situation regarding their own shortcomings. So, perfectionism is often the cause and sign of low self-esteem in women and men.
Follow the conversation of your interlocutor. First of all, what he says. A sign of low self-esteem is the frequent use of denial phrases (I'm not sure it is impossible, yes, but ...). As well as phrases in which a person tries to transfer all the merit in the case to another person (for example, “I just helped”).
A sign of a man with low self-esteem is his frequent self-humiliation, criticism of his woman, possessiveness and excessive pessimism. If your man has one of these symptoms, run away from him as soon as possible.
Signs of low self-esteem in adolescents are anxiety and fear of wide social contacts. Self-centeredness and a frequent depressive state are added to this.
Do you have low self-esteem?
A sign of low self-esteem is the habit of comparing oneself with others. You must remember if you do this, and if so, how often. The attitude of other people towards you will also help determine what your self-esteem is. A self-respecting person will never allow someone to treat himself disrespectfully. You have low self-esteem if you value the opinions of those around you more than you do.
How to get rid of low self-esteem?
If you find yourself in any of these signs, you should learn to love and appreciate yourself. Both for all its positive aspects, and for its shortcomings. Take a contrast shower and start any workouts that will temper your spirit. Control yourself. And, first of all, pay attention to your gait. You go stooping and looking at your feet? Straighten your back, look forward and smile a little. So you will look many times better. In order to get rid of this shortcoming and believe in yourself, you should try to look like a confident person!