The psychology of woman infidelity: description, signs, causes

Society strongly condemns adultery. But, surprisingly, the attitude towards male and female adventures is completely different. Speaking of the infidelity of the stronger sex, everyone, as a rule, is attributed to the notorious polygamy. But such liberties on the part of the ladies are accompanied by violent indignation, because this does not correspond at all to the nature and purpose of the woman. The psychology of betrayal is an interesting subject to study, especially when it comes to the fair half of humanity.

What is the difference between female and male expectations from marriage

Before understanding the psychology of betrayal and signs that will help to recognize infidelity, it is worth analyzing how the two sexes relate to marriage, which is expected from family life. Comparative characteristics are given in the table.

What is the difference between female and male adultery

The psychology of infidelity varies between men and women. The analysis begins with more primitive manifestations of infidelity. For the vast majority of the stronger sex, cheating is a way to diversify intimate life and take a break from family routine. In this case, for the campaign "to the left" does not need any special reason. A man can change, even if he is completely satisfied with his spouse. He just in such a peculiar way decided to satisfy his basic instinct.

The situation with the psychology of treason in women is completely different. For the fair sex, feelings come first, and intimacy comes second. It is important for a lady to feel attention. Simply put, satisfying a basic instinct is not a good reason to contact another man. Wives, as a rule, are cheated in two cases: if the spouse is cold and indifferent (takes for granted) or if there is a strong love on the side.

To confirm the significant differences in the psychology of infidelity in women and men, an anonymous survey was conducted by one social research institute in Eastern Europe (including Russia). Among women who confessed to marital infidelity, only 25% said they did not experience any romantic feelings for their lover. But among men there were as many as 70% completely indifferent to their mistresses.

Two types of female infidelity

The society has a stable idea of ​​the essence of adultery. But not everyone knows that in the psychology of adultery there are two types of infidelity: physical and moral. The first is more or less clear. She means sexual contact. Moreover, he may not be accompanied by any romantic feelings at all (as is often the case in men).

But moral treason is a more complex phenomenon, something like platonic love. This type of infidelity is usually characteristic of women. This is a situation when a lady feels a spiritual kinship with an outside man. It arises against the background of the similarity of characters, temperaments, hobbies, worldviews. The notorious “chemistry” can happen when people fit together on a physiological and psychological level. In this case, physical contact, as a rule, does not occur. Moreover, a married woman can observe the object of her adoration from afar, fearing to violate moral principles.

Actually, moral treason is not at all such in the minds of most people. However, its role and significance are underestimated. The psychology of betrayal and betrayal is much more complicated than just bodily contact. The presence of spiritual attachment leads to a no less deep crisis of relations than sexual contact on the side.

The main causes of female infidelity

Cheating women in psychology is associated with certain reasons. Namely:

• Lack of emotional and spiritual connection with the spouse. It is important for a woman to be "on the same wavelength" with her husband, to feel warmth and care. If a man “blows a chill”, this can provoke a lady for treason.
• Unjustified expectations. Often, marriage changes people. After marriage, many women are faced with the fact that the spouse is not at all a wonderful romantic prince. He doesn’t take time, earns a little, scatters socks around the apartment, and even gets fat. Broken illusions push a woman to continue the search for her ideal.
• Revenge. If a man was previously caught in adultery, it is possible that a woman will want to pay him the same. Treason can also be revenge for physical or moral abuse by the husband.
• Tired of routine. If, after marriage, a woman swallows life, sooner or later, she will want to break out of this “captivity”. If the elastic does not bring his lady into the light, for sure, there will be someone who will satisfy this need.
• Sexual dissatisfaction. Despite the fact that for women, intimacy is in second place after feelings, if a man does not fulfill his marital duty (or does it improperly), the lady may not stand it. This is one of the most common factors of betrayal in the family. In psychology, this phenomenon is called "compensation for the lack of proximity."
• Old love. They say that the first romantic feeling is not forgotten. If a woman accidentally meets the love of her youth, it is possible that feelings can erupt with renewed vigor.
• The desire to fill the void. If a man is never near (for example, he is spending days at work or constantly traveling), the woman begins to feel lonely and unnecessary. Thus, she begins to try to fill the resulting void with another man.
• Lack of feelings for a spouse. Sometimes, the reason for adultery is the fact that a woman has simply stopped loving her husband.
• Middle age crisis. This phenomenon is not unique to men. A deep introspection and subtraction occurs after 30 years in women. The psychology of betrayal in this conscious age is formed on the basis of whether the lady at that moment received everything she dreamed of in her youth. Realizing that real family life does not correspond to her ideals, she can think about changing her life partner. Moreover, it will be suitable for his choice not only from an emotional point of view, but also from practical considerations.

The hidden causes of female infidelity

The psychology of female adultery is much more complicated and confusing than it might seem at first glance. It is interesting that some ladies put some hidden meaning into their betrayal. Namely:

• The desire to make a man stronger. If a man is not initiative, doesn’t bring things to the end, doesn’t fulfill his promises, constantly complains, few people will like it. Treason is a kind of original way to “shake” a spouse and make him change his outlook on life.
• The desire to assert oneself. Treason can be a means to demonstrate to a man that she is interesting to other members of the stronger sex, that she needs to be fought for.
• The desire to "warm up" the fading relationship. Some ladies believe that the appearance of an opponent will bring “pepper” and return passion. But, as a rule, this action leads to the opposite effect.

How to recognize cheating?

The psychology of cheating wives is such that it is very difficult for them to hide the betrayal. Unlike men, ladies feel guilty for what they have done, and therefore they often pass themselves off. If a woman turned out to be a tough nut, treason can be recognized for indirect reasons. Namely:

• The wife does not allow you to her gadgets. For example, previously you could safely use her smartphone or tablet, and now passwords have appeared on all devices. Also, an example is the situation if it abruptly closes chats in a laptop, if you come from the back. All this may indicate that the woman has some kind of secrets from you.
• Dramatic changes in appearance. This is one of the key signs of a wife's betrayal in psychology. For example, your spouse unexpectedly changed your favorite jeans and sweatshirt to stockings and an elegant dress. She began to devote more time to hair and makeup, began to shine from the inside for no apparent reason. It is possible that in this way a woman is trying to please someone.
• A new circle of communication. If, in addition to your mutual friends, your spouse begins to spend a lot of time with people you don’t know, this is an alarming sign. Especially if a woman categorically refuses to introduce new friends to you.
• Detachment from proximity. Of course, one cannot discount the feeling of well-being and emotional tension. But if a woman evades the performance of conjugal duty for a long time (or does it coldly, "for show"), it says something.
• Excessive employment. The wife began to return home much later, she does not answer your calls and messages - these are “disturbing calls”. But one should not exclude the likelihood that a woman is really very busy at work.
• Uncharacteristic calm. If earlier your wife “sawed” you for scattered socks, crumbs on the couch and other household trifles, but then abruptly stopped noticing them, this is not a reason for joy. Most likely, her thoughts are busy with something or someone else.

Alternative sign

Helping to recognize infidelity is another important aspect of women's psychology. After the betrayal, the fair sex is feeling guilty. Such is their nature. Therefore, having committed such a mistake, the spouse may try to atone for sin.

The reason for suspecting a woman of infidelity can be an unexpected positive change. For example, my wife became very affectionate, began to prepare new tasty dishes, became more attentive to your work and hobbies, and also became more passionate and inventive in your intimate life. It is possible that in this way a woman tries to calm her conscience and make amends to you.

Is it worth it to forgive? Arguments for"

In the confused psychology of relationships, treason is one of the most controversial topics. Some people consider infidelity to be a real crime that can never be forgiven. And some people are of the opinion that everyone deserves a second chance. Here are the arguments that guide the latter:

• Breaking - not building. A family is not created in one day. People spend time and energy to learn and love each other, to establish a common life. It might be worth a try to save this.
• Everyone has the right to a second chance. No one is sinless. And if a woman sincerely repents of her act, it may be worth trying to forgive her.
• Both are to blame for family problems. Before making an important decision, a man should analyze his behavior. Maybe it was he who pushed his wife into the arms of an outside gentleman? If you come to this conclusion, definitely, it’s worth forgiving each other perfect mistakes and trying to start over.
• Difficulties strengthen relationships. If the spouses were able to survive the crisis together, in the future their union will become stronger, they will be less vulnerable to the influence of circumstances.

Is it worth it to forgive? Arguments against"

It is believed that the psychology of female adultery is fundamentally different from the psychology of male infidelity. Some people consider cheating on their spouse to be more treacherous and criminal, and therefore they do not recommend forgiving her. And for what reasons:

• A man receives a deep psychological trauma after treason. The psychology of the stronger sex is such that they are the owners. Treason deals a strong blow to their pride.
• A woman no longer loves her husband. Intimacy for a woman is a matter of feelings. If she decides to cheat, then she has estranged herself from her husband and has romantic feelings for her gentleman.
• Humility means weakness. To accept and forgive infidelity means to show weakness. Women feel it and manipulate this feeling.
• A man may be the object of ridicule. If the rumor of marital infidelity has spread, a forgiving man can be considered a spineless weakling.

Is there a future together after the betrayal?

A rather sensitive topic in the psychology of relationships is betrayal. According to statistics, most ladies forgive their faithful adventures "left", preferring not to destroy the family. But female infidelity, as a rule, ends in divorce. Most men are owners by nature. Treason is too much a blow to their ego.

If you decide not to chop off your shoulder, but try to save the family, it is important to behave correctly. The most important thing is not to blame your spouse for a mistake. Psychologists advise a symbolic ritual to destroy past grievances. For example, write all claims on a piece of paper and burn it. But ideally, such couples should turn to a family psychologist who will help get rid of grievances and put their thoughts on the shelves.

Cheating Prevention

Knowledge of the psychology of betrayal will help prevent negative developments in family life. Wives are delicate and sensitive creatures, and therefore they need a special approach. The following recommendations will help prevent treason:

• Do not turn from a prince into a monster. Always remember how you were before marriage, and support this image already in family life. Watch your appearance, do not forget to be a gentleman.
• Be romantic. Give gifts to your woman, arrange dinners by candlelight, say nice words, demonstrate tenderness. For a woman, romance is the foundation of a relationship.
• Help your spouse. Housekeeping and raising children is a shared responsibility. Moreover, if a woman works, you simply do not have the moral right to transfer the whole load of household chores to her.
• Talk to each other. Do not hush up your feelings, complaints and suspicions. Most problems can be eliminated at the beginning, if you talk about them frankly and on time.
• Do not lock your spouse at home. Work, creativity, communication - all this is necessary for any person. Otherwise, the woman will want to get out of your cell as soon as possible.
• Do not forget about intimacy. Sexual relationships are equally important for both men and women. Do not forget that intimate contact should bring satisfaction to both spouses.
• Do not try to control a woman. Constant suspicions, jealousy and insulting hints will only push the spouse to treason.

Tips for women

The psychology of betraying a wife to her husband is a very confusing area. In particular, this is due to public opinion. Despite the fact that representatives of different sexes are assigned equal rights, this does not apply to the issue of marital infidelity. A man’s adventures, as a rule, are met with understanding and are justified in every way. But such behavior on the part of the woman causes sharp condemnation up to aggression. Therefore, ladies need to be extremely careful and judicious. Follow these guidelines:

• Take your time with marriage. Do not get married “for show”, so you don’t regret missed opportunities later, looking at the “best options”. Creating a family is a crucial step that you must take with a person in whom you are 100% sure. And most importantly - you must be confident in yourself and your feelings.
• Do not dive headlong into everyday life. It is in your power to form the correct attitude of a man towards himself. Do not give up your interests and needs in favor of household chores, distribute responsibilities. Otherwise, closing yourself in a “household cage”, you will accumulate discontent and anger at your man, and more often look at other gentlemen.
• “Warm up” feelings. It just so happened that men are more primitive in terms of instincts and needs. Therefore, the function of maintaining a “twinkle” in a relationship lies precisely with the woman. Create romance yourself or direct your spouse in the right direction.
• Learn to voice your complaints. If something does not satisfy you in family life, it’s delicate, but speak directly about it, because men are not the most insightful creatures. And to accumulate resentment is not the best option. After all, if you break, and comes to treason, your claims will no longer be appropriate.
• Objectively evaluate other men. If you feel that you are fascinated by a new acquaintance, just imagine him in everyday life. Surely, he does not walk around the house in a tie. Most likely, at home, he is not much different from your spouse. So is the game worth the candle?
• Be honest. If you understand that life with a spouse is unbearable, or if your mind and heart are seriously occupied by another person, get divorced. Only in this way can you build a new happy life without fear of public condemnation and without suffering remorse.

Conclusion

Whatever the motives and psychology of the woman, after the betrayal, the husband has the right to decide the further fate of the family. It is important not to make decisions in a hurry, but to give the family (and first of all - yourself) a little time. When the passions subside, and the insult is slightly dulled, you will be more clearly aware of what to do. Whatever decision you make (keep the marriage or divorce), the most important thing is not to get hung up on what happened. It is necessary to let go of the situation and draw a lesson from it, so as not to repeat mistakes in the saved or already new relations in the future.