The concept of an inferiority complex stems from psychology. It is often used in everyday speech in relation to sandwiched people with low self-esteem. Everyday and scientific concepts are intertwined, so in some ways they are similar, but there are some differences between them. The first to describe this psychological phenomenon was Alfred Adler.
What is a “complex” in psychology?
Despite the fact that in everyday life the word "complex" in relation to a person has a very negative connotation, in psychology everything is somewhat different. This term denotes a set of attitudes, mechanisms and sensations that are formed around one specific affect. They affect the life and development of the individual.
Basically, these processes take place on a subconscious level, even if they were formed on a conscious level. When an object (thought) is in the zone of consciousness, we can control it and wield it. If this something goes into the zone of the subconscious, then it begins to control us. Therefore, complexes have an impact on our lives without our consent. Affect in this case is called an emotion or an emotional process.
"Gift" from childhood
Unlike the talents and abilities that are given to us from birth, the inferiority complex is an acquired thing. As a rule, the reason or environment for its acquisition is society. Do not forget that the family is also a society.
Most often, the whole bouquet of negative self-destructive attitudes is born after rash words of parents or peers. It is worth adding that for a normally developing thinking child, the words of an adult are a constitution. Up to 10-11 years old children are guided by elders, then - by peers.
One mother’s word - “sloppy”, “ugly” or “dumb” - said to her child is equated to the exclamation of the crowd.
A word attached to a person is a seed that may not sprout for several years, but firmly sit in the subconscious. Under the slightest favorable condition, it will make itself felt. And that is just one word.
What can we say about those cases when such statements are part of everyday communication. If a man is called a pig a hundred times, he grunts a hundred and first. The inferiority complex in men, as in women, is formed since childhood.
Denial of your desires
Our whole existence is driven by our desires. In newborns, they are simpler, primitive. The older the child becomes, the more complicated his desires and needs.
Desires provoke certain emotions that activate our body and give strength for their fulfillment. Initially, for any creature, personal desires are prioritized. And while they move a person, he is controlled by him more than anything else.
A child who has clearly articulated needs is more likely to listen to them than to the advice of adults. At this moment, parents lose control of their child. In order not to bother to think about why this happened, they simply knock out the soil from under their feet with one phrase: "Ah, what a bad boy (girl) you are."
Sometimes this is formulated through a hint that your desires are worthless, they are irrelevant, too expensive, stupid, wrong.
Think about what phrases can lead to: “you have hands from one place”, “you are worth nothing”, “it would be better if I did not give birth to you”, “only a dumbass can do this”, etc.
What is the depreciation of desires
We can’t say that all children's whims should be meekly executed by parents, adults or peers. This also provokes the disharmonious development of personality. But if every “I want” to respond with a sharp refusal complete with reproaches, screams, condemnation or classical ignoring, this will lead to a person growing up, and the person in him is not, because the core that feeds on the desires and ambitions of the person, originally broken.
This is not to say that such a person does not have a future or hope for "healing." We will discuss below what exactly can change mechanisms and settings.
The depreciation of the desires and needs of the individual leads to low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. If a person’s desires are equated to zero, then he feels like no one.
How does it manifest
Signs of an inferiority complex can be either pronounced or latent (hidden).
Sometimes one glance cast at a person is enough to understand whether he is satisfied with his life or not. Signs of low self-esteem can be as follows: a person stoops, tilts his head all the time, speaks slurred, stutters when talking, crosses his arms across his chest all the time, etc.
But sometimes the inferiority complex is hidden behind a bright mask of emancipation, brilliance and gloss.
This problem can manifest itself in two ways. On the one hand - the fear of people, especially strangers, and on the other - the constant search for new acquaintances.
Since people with an inferiority complex feel worse than others, they need regular approval of their actions by others. From little-known people this is easier to achieve.
A sense of worthlessness can be accompanied by constant talk about one’s imperfections or by obsessive boasting. It depends on what kind of compensation mechanism a person chooses.
An example of an inferiority complex can be a whole wardrobe of things of fashionable world brands, expensive cars or other deliberate status symbols, or withdrawal into marginality. The latter is manifested by integration into the subculture, actions contrary to society.
People with this complex regularly have a self-condemnation program. Departure into marginality makes it possible to cling to a less successful society in which one can begin to condemn everyone else and thus assert oneself.
Departure in various deviations (both positive and negative) can also be considered a sign of an inferiority complex. Addiction, alcoholism and smoking are a desire to join the society and not be a black sheep.
Forecasts
How to get rid of an inferiority complex? Unfortunately, it is impossible to recover completely and completely from this psychological illness, since there is always a risk that the self-flagellation mechanisms are activated when they encounter an irritant. But you can muffle it, compensate or get rid of the cause.
Compensation brings only temporary satisfaction or does not bring it at all. All actions are performed for the public, not for themselves. Man still considers himself worse than others. At the same time, he does everything so that others do not suspect this, spends his strength and receives only a momentary joy.
Compensation
The inferiority complex in women, like men, is accompanied by self-flagellation and the inability to listen to their personal desires. This can be compared to the tasteless salad that you buy, because his photo looks beautiful on Instagram.
“I want to lose weight in order to feel more easily” and “I want to lose weight so that I am not considered fat” - these are completely different things. In the first case, you fulfill your desires, and in the other, societies. Similarly, “I want to drive fast and comfortably” and “I want a Mercedes” are two different topics. The first is self-satisfaction, the second is status work.
Compensation can also be considered the humiliation of others. Often people with an inferiority complex, in order to feel normal, by all means seek out shortcomings from others. Usually the circle of searches is limited to those features and features that these people themselves possess. So, the foolish will seek nearness, the absentminded - absent-mindedness, the wry-legged - wry-legged, the sloppy - sloppy, etc. And whoever seeks will always find. Stressing this flaw in another, a person temporarily feels his full value.
Work on flaws
You can get rid of the inferiority complex by coping with a personal (internal) cause or by changing your attitude towards it.
If a sense of worthlessness arose after you did not talk about the Pythagorean theorem, it is enough to learn it. If it is connected with a long nose, then correcting the situation is much more complicated.
All external shortcomings that people seek out in themselves can be corrected. In an extreme case, plastic surgery will help. Therefore, you do not need to torment yourself by savoring the mistakes made by nature when creating your image.
Lifestyle change
Sometimes, to get rid of the inferiority complex, it is enough to change the situation or society. If he has arisen in the circle of certain people (be it family, classmates, friends or colleagues), then in this environment he will doze off, then boil, but will not disappear.
Great efforts must be made to change himself and change his attitude towards himself at the same time. That is why many people get rid of the inferiority complex, having left their family, having changed their place of residence.
It is necessary for some time to remove oneself from the field of view of those people who provoke the development of complexes in you, and at the same time change yourself. This gives a malfunction to the usual mechanisms that work in response to the stimulus.
However, the return to the "native land" often re-launches hated mechanisms.
Cultivating self-esteem
This strategy is chosen by strong-willed people. If I didn’t know mathematics at school, I’ll go to study as a mathematics teacher (“I will prove to everyone that I know this subject”). Many examples of compensation can be cited: “I didn’t move well — I would be a dancer,” “I was afraid to leave my mother — I would become a traveler.” Not life, but complete compensation for such people, but excitement helps to get rid of the cause of the inferiority complex. Such people often become highly skilled professionals.
No lies!
As a rule, people with an inferiority complex are used to lying or fantasizing. It may be trifles that do not bring any benefit, but are aimed at hiding their lowered self-esteem. There are a lot of examples of such petty lies: a girl who corrects her appearance in Photoshop, a guy telling how he was driving in "his" car.
At the same time, these people are very honest in global issues. If you have such symptoms, then getting rid of them can be the key to solving the problem.