If you feel lonely, if you are bored in your surroundings, you need to know how to attract the people you like to yourself. Most often, the circle of contacts includes those with whom we get acquainted at work or in the process of study. What about pulling people you like into your life?
What attracts or repels people in interpersonal communication?
Communication is an essential part of our life. If you want to attract interesting people to yourself, then you yourself must become such a person. First of all, you need to figure out what attracts or repels people in interpersonal relationships. Perhaps you should start with the positive qualities that others like:
- neat appearance;
- tact;
- competent and clear speech;
- breadth of worldview;
- respect for someone else's point of view;
- openness
- listening skills;
- sense of humor;
- interest.
Remember that you need to not only acquire attractive qualities, but also get rid of the negative. The latter include:
- sloppy appearance;
- selfishness;
- narcissism;
- rudeness;
- excessive mannerism;
- talkativeness;
- neglect of another's point of view;
- isolation.
A bit of visual appeal
The first thing that attracts people in interpersonal relationships is, of course, appearance. Follow some simple rules to evoke pleasant emotions in others:
- Follow the rules of personal hygiene. No unpleasant odors should come from you, your skin and hair should be clean. Keep an eye on your hands and nails.
- If you are a girl going to a meeting, do a light make-up to hide skin problems and emphasize facial features. If you are a man, be sure to shave the stubble or trim the contours of the beard.
- Find your own style of clothing that will emphasize your unique personality. These should be peculiar, but not vulgar things.
- Your clothes should fit the occasion. If you are going to an official event, a business suit is required, and it is quite possible to come to an informal meeting in jeans.
- Watch your posture. A straight back and unfolded shoulders are characteristics of a confident person.
Eye contact
In order to attract people that you like to yourself, to continue communication with them, it is important to establish eye contact. In this way, you will demonstrate to the interlocutor your interest in him. If you are embarrassed to look into your eyes and cannot keep contact for a long time, use these methods:
- when the person starts talking, start counting the number of blinks from him;
- Imagine that your gaze was glued to the pupils of the interlocutor, and if you take it away, you will experience severe pain;
- if you feel that a person is embarrassed by your gaze, periodically interrupt eye contact, looking at some objects (but you need to do this as if reluctantly).
Learn body language
Non-verbal communication is much more informative than any words. Gestures will help you unravel the true mood and intentions of the interlocutor. Here are the key points to learn if you want to know how to attract people to yourself:
- Pay attention to the smile. If a person sincerely rejoices, cheeks are raised along with the corners of the mouth, and the eyes are moistened and become a little narrower. If such signs are not observed, this indicates a tense smile.
- Look at the socks of the shoes of the interlocutor. If they are directed towards you, it means that the person is interested and fun. Otherwise, it is better to end the conversation so as not to seem intrusive.
- The interest in you and your story demonstrates the position of the interlocutor’s body. If he leaned toward you, this is a favorable sign. Otherwise, the person has no desire to continue the conversation.
Learn to find the right words.
How to attract people you like to yourself? Learn to talk to them by choosing the right topic. So, the person is already in front of you, and you need to somehow start the conversation. Use these recommendations:
- A good acquaintance begins with a compliment. Find something to praise a person for. Maybe he has an original outfit, or maybe he made a very successful speech. In any case, a compliment will defuse the situation and lay the foundation for further dialogue.
- If you are interested in a person with whom you have common acquaintances, this will be a great occasion for dialogue. Tell us about your relationship with a friend and ask how your interlocutor met with him.
- If you can’t find common ground, “eternal themes” will come to the rescue. Cinema, music, television, art - in one of these areas you will surely find common ground.
Be the initiator of further communication
Let's say the acquaintance was successful. But how to attract people to yourself to establish long and productive contacts with them. Most likely, you will have to initiate further communication. Take note of these recommendations:
- Use the topics you discussed during your acquaintance to continue communication. So, for example, if you talked about work, send some useful information on this subject by e-mail. If the theme was art, stay tuned for announcements of exhibitions or concerts. Invite a new friend to attend the event together.
- Try to find out about important dates. For example, such as a birthday, wedding anniversary or a professional holiday of your new acquaintance. Remind yourself periodically by sending e-mail greetings.
- Use social networks. Be sure to add friends, like photos, share interesting information.
Meditation
The power of thought plays an important role in achieving success. How to attract the person you like? Use methods of auto-suggestion or meditation. Whenever you have an important event or meeting important people, do this exercise:
- turn on relaxing music or audio recordings of nature sounds;
- take a comfortable posture in which you can relax all the muscles;
- mentally or aloud, give yourself a positive attitude that everything in your life is good, you are interesting to people, you will easily be able to make new acquaintances;
- after 10 minutes you will feel that your body has become light and your thoughts are bright.
Be active
Surely everyone wants to know the secret of how to attract people like a magnet. The main rule is activity. You must be constantly on the move, constantly in sight, take part everywhere. Be proactive in work, organize friendly gatherings, visit public places (concerts, shopping centers, cafes, a sports hall). You will become so recognizable that you will no longer be looking for an approach to others, but they will dream of meeting you.