Feelings of guilt can be equated with an all-consuming pathological human condition, under the influence of which serious moral oppression occurs. Heartache, constant thoughts about what was done, regular torment in search of answers to questions hanging in the air - a constant feeling of guilt before everyone serves as a catalyst for all this. How to get rid of an oppressive sensation? And how to wrest from involvement in the subconscious mind something irreparable?
The danger of guilt
In order to understand how to get rid of guilt, you must first understand for yourself what the danger of this fraught sensation is. Not always does it fall upon the head for no reason. The origins of this problem can be rooted in the distant past, where once some offenses were committed, cowardice was shown, some kind of injustice was carried out, due to which there came a moment of belated remorse in the form of remorse. A person begins to experience a subconscious transformation, a reassessment of views, a rethinking of what happened.
With increasing force, thoughts in the form of obsessions with a subtext about dictating to him accusatory accusations and reproaches of conscience begin to attack him. Gradually, a person becomes gloomy, thoughtful, often plunges into his thoughts, loses his appetite, spends longer time alone, closes himself from society and begins to experience standard pre-depressive apathy, called a feeling of guilt and shame before anyone.
How to get rid of guilt and shame? What is the danger of the influence of these factors on the human subconscious?
- Firstly, a person begins to lose vital energy - he is not able to fully work, function, exist in full force.
- Secondly, it loses confidence in itself as a personality unit — by daily mental punishment of itself, it experiences the first stages of degradation and drives itself into a deadlock.
- Thirdly, it stops communicating with others, ignoring interest in everything that happens - the surrounding sphere of activity completely ceases to interest a person feeling guilty.
- Fourth, it undergoes a depressive state, which can subsequently lead to a nervous breakdown due to total pessimistic oppression.
Understanding the danger of falling into this kind of stagnant moral and mental stupor, it is imperative to learn how to get rid of guilt. Psychology techniques developed on the basis of the practical skills of qualified specialists and the experience of previous years open up the possibility of gradual elimination from the subconscious of a person blaming himself for everything, eradicating guilty feelings in front of different people.
Guilt before mom
One of the strongest destructive feelings is a persistent feeling of guilt in front of parents. How to get rid of a depressing ailment? How to stop reproaching yourself for guilty before mother - the best, beloved, dear woman in the whole world?
A topic that is quite complex in nature requires certain explanations. The fact is that feelings of guilt before parents are laid in childhood - this can happen consciously or unconsciously. A mother who could not conceive for a long time, with great difficulty nevertheless achieved conception, bore and gave birth to her long-awaited child, subsequently carefully protects him from external adversities, constantly holding the baby tightly under her maternal wing. She even does not in principle consider the model of behavior of an adult child when she will have to choose to go free swimming, move away from her and begin to build her personal life and her own family with her children. At this stage, voluntary or involuntary maternal manipulation of the child begins: “you leave me”, “you leave me alone”, “I raised you with such difficulty, and you pay with such an easy parting with me” and the similar manipulation steps that plunge an adult a child into a state of insuperable guilt in front of his parent.
How to get rid of guilt in front of mom?
- Have constant contact with her, daily reminding myself with his calls and periodic visits with his family and children.
- In every possible way to help, give attention and participate in solving her problems.
- Let go of children's and youthful grievances, forget about them forever.
- To help mom and try to direct her thoughts, aspirations and actions in a different direction: to give her the opportunity to forget about her departure from her everyday everyday life, opening up new opportunities for her in the form of hobbies, hobbies, communication with her friends, long-awaited grandchildren, a new life partner.
Guilt before loved ones
What to do if there is a conflict with relatives? How to get rid of guilty feelings before relatives? People often stop communicating with their relatives because of some everyday problems or quarrels that arise mainly due to questions regarding the division of property and similar unpleasant dilemmas. Another model of contention between relatives is also possible: the older sister feels guilty before the younger one because her parents have more hopes for her, give her more attention and care than the younger one. One way or another, but a small worm originates in a person, which creates remorse in his mind, develops this feeling to a global scale.
In order to prevent an all-consuming feeling of awkwardness and shame in front of one's relatives, it is necessary to carry out analytical work on the current situation and identify specific ways to solve it.
- The first thing that should help in resolving this misunderstanding is a constructive conversation. It is necessary to direct the conversation in such a direction that will clearly and clearly explain to the offended side the motives of the act, possible repentance and suggestions for restoring warm relations.
- The second thing a guilty person should understand is that if the opposing side does not make contact due to some whim, envy and hatred, then perhaps you should not bother and reproach yourself with remorse about feelings a person who does not deserve it.
Guilt before spouse
An even more ornate and difficult way in trying to comprehend the truth of how to get rid of guilt is the feeling of shame in front of your beloved husband (beloved wife). The most global and frequently encountered problem in this regard is, of course, the contention associated with infidelity. An all-consuming feeling of shame, self-disappointment, reproaches of conscience associated with one’s own betrayal and fleeting weakness in the form of treason, can lead a person to a state of deepest despair and loss of any hope of forgiveness from a loved one and himself. Often in such situations, the final point on the issue is divorce.
How to get rid of guilt, which is constantly pursuing, does not allow you to live and exist on? Broken dreams, stolen hopes, a ruined family - all this provokes desperate steps, and the background to all this is the immense and tearing soul's guilt. What psychologists recommend:
- firstly, to accept the situation - what happened, what happened;
- secondly, letting go of a person who categorically does not make contact after what happened - with his obsession one can only aggravate the situation;
- thirdly, wait for time and try to apologize to those who were hurt - usually the time intervals allow you to forget and get used to what happened, and this, in turn, can help get the long-awaited forgiveness.
Guilt before no longer
How to get rid of guilt before a dead person? Oddly enough, in life there are times when someone dies or prematurely leaves life, suddenly and suddenly, which entails some feelings of guilt of people close or familiar to him. I did not have time to see another person who had gone into the world for the last time, I could not make peace and forget the old grievances, I could not overcome my pride and say “I'm sorry” - there could be a lot of reasons. But this sensation sits quite tightly in the subconscious of the afflicted and slowly but surely brings the person to terrible thoughts. How to get rid of constant guilt in this case? Here it is important to clarify one point: the person is gone, he already practically doesn’t care whether his companions are tormented by conscientious remorse or not. For your own comfort, you can visit the grave of a friend who has left this world, put a candle in his church, but in fact you won’t be able to apologize in any way, and therefore it makes no sense to blame yourself.
Guilt before the child
Parents often make certain mistakes in their methods of raising children. How to get rid of guilt in front of a child? Here you can build a model of constructive conversation with a teenager, always placing emphasis on the fact that he is already quite an adult, a practically formed personality unit. Children love when parents talk to them on equal terms, rather than flaunting their seniority and priority in the age and status category. Therefore, it is possible to eradicate the feeling of guilt in front of one’s own child through a simple thorough discussion, where incorrect parental remarks and unjustified punishments or statements made earlier towards the child will be distinguished.
Guilt before a friend
Another interesting topic for consideration is the question of how to get rid of guilty feelings before another. Of course, it all depends on the specific reason for the resentment of one comrade against another. The psychology of friendly relations of modern times says: you never shared the same tastes with a friend for women, you never had financial affairs with him. Money and girls are two topics of friendship that are almost unforgivable and unacceptable for a loan, so anything related to this is hardly subject to discussion or forgiveness. As for the other issues, they can always be settled with an apology, a bottle of good cognac drunk together as a reconciliation and intimate friendly conversation. Then guilt will not have to be killed for a long time.
Guilt before colleagues
It’s a little harder to build a reconciliation chain with colleagues. Unfortunately, it often happens that people are potential rivals, working in the same team. This entails many intrigues and gossip directed against each other. Sometimes it happens that you communicate well with a work colleague, work on an equal footing, and you are nominated for his candidacy or promoted instead of him - and then you feel somehow awkward in front of this person. In this case, how to get rid of guilt? The psychology of human relations considers this situation from the perspective of the standard picture, when an adequate colleague left behind will objectively evaluate the situation and accept it as it is, while maintaining good communication with a successful fellow worker. If a person is biased, able to go into conflict, finding out the reasons for such castling in the frames, then there is no need to feel guilty before a colleague who is infantile and envious by nature.
Guilt before oneself
Sometimes disagreements arise even with one’s own conscience. How to cope with the guilt that you feel in relation to yourself? Indeed, often people blame themselves for the fact that “in that situation it was necessary to act like this”, and “in this case it was necessary to behave differently”. It’s perhaps simpler to agree with oneself: after all, all thoughts, all arguments, all sensations sit only in their own subconscious.
General Guidance for Relieving Guilt
People often feel awkward or uncomfortable with each other. How to cope with guilt? The general recommendations of specialists in the field of psychology are mainly aimed at following three general key aspects:
- conducting a constructive conversation between participants in a conflict situation;
- work with your subconscious and objectivity in assessing circumstances regarding the scope of the problems;
- regulation of the situation in terms of self-programming and tuning to a successful outcome, dangling in the air of a mute problem.
The feeling of constant guilt in itself is a negative background for a person’s daily life. Only by getting rid of the burdens of their own oppression, people will be able to learn how to live and function in the context of those priorities to which they aspire, which are entrusted with all their life hopes and goals. If you can’t get rid of guilty feelings on your own, a psychologist will come to the rescue. Do not refuse such support, because a specialist will really help to understand yourself.