In modern society, one can often find a tendency when a girl does not want to give birth. It would seem that the desire for motherhood is embedded in the female nature. This instinct manifests itself in different ways depending on the internal psychological readiness. Many ladies, especially the older generation, generally believe that the main purpose of a woman is to have children and take care of them. However, not everyone decides to realize themselves as a parent. Not every representative of the fair sex is really touched by small arms and legs. Not everyone wants to bring up a child for many years, to transfer to him the accumulated experience.
Someone prefers to closely engage in their own lives, set serious goals and strive to achieve them. Let us consider in more detail the reasons why women of childbearing age do not want to give birth. All of them, one way or another, affect relationships with oneself or other people. It is very valuable to listen to the opinion of experienced professionals in family matters. It is important to understand yourself, to understand where the roots of the situation come from.
The origins of the problem
In any difficult situation, it is important to understand what is actually happening. Otherwise, an internal conflict will inevitably develop, which will not be so easy to resolve. In order for a problem to arise and form in principle, good reason is required. Understanding may not come immediately, but it is necessary to strive for this.
Fear of responsibility
The most common reason that prevents the birth of an heir. A girl does not want to give birth to children when she is extremely unsure of herself that she will succeed in becoming a good mother. The fear of responsibility sometimes presses very hard, does not allow to realize their best aspirations and dreams. People do not understand that they thereby do not allow themselves to become happy. Fearing to plan the appearance of the child, the woman only closes herself more tightly, does not allow her soul to open towards an amazing understanding of the essence and meaning of life.
Fear of responsibility comes from self-doubt. When in our existence there are already many disappointments, it becomes completely not enough to give life to someone else. The individual begins to be afraid to make a mistake, to do something wrong. Existing negative experience pops up like an avalanche. As a result, fears begin to control the situation, and not the true intentions of the individual at all.
Uncertainty in a partner
An important role is played by this aspect. In harmonious relationships, both partners give and receive equally. Uncertainty in the intentions of the partner and the future shared with him blocks the desire to have a child. A woman may even begin to think that she does not need it at all, they say, I do not want to give birth to children and that’s all. In fact, the internal psychological defense is triggered. It is becoming easier to give up the opportunity to become a mother than to overcome numerous difficulties. If we are not confident in our loved one, then an understanding comes that in the case of difficulties, we will have to rely only on ourselves. Without support, it is quite difficult to achieve something.
The fact is that not every girl can have a strong core in order to shift the sole care of the child onto her own shoulders. Alone it is very difficult to overcome difficulties, to cope with the obstacles that arise. The fact is that a woman herself wants to feel protection. The thought that there will be no place to wait for help and understanding is unbearable for her. When the second half cannot be relied on, the girl has to shoulder everything. Sometimes it makes you despair and stop believing in your own prospects.
Fear of pain
In some cases, the soul is tormented by the fear of something uncontrollable. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much fear and phobia govern our lives. Childbirth is an incredibly complex process, both physically and mentally. Everyone who went through this, as a rule, suppresses the painful moments of contractions and attempts from memory. Sometimes a woman can be incredibly afraid of this, which tells herself and others that she does not want to give birth to children. The fear of pain is sometimes so rooted in the mind that it crowds out the innermost dreams and desires. Consciousness begins to concentrate only on the negative, missing the bright moments.
In painful moments it is impossible to think about happiness. If a girl does not want to give birth, fearing severe pain, then she needs to reconsider her beliefs. After all, treating life in this way, you can miss the brightest moments in it. Refusing to experience the joy of motherhood, we block our vital energies, go against our nature. After all, it’s probably worth it to wait once, than to try to prove to yourself all your life that without a child it would be better. Saying to himself: “I do not want to give birth, I am afraid of pain”, a woman thereby severely limits her female nature, does not allow herself to experience happiness.
Psychological immaturity
This is an infantile attitude towards life. When all the worries come down only to satisfy their own needs, there are no resources left for achievements. A person begins to concentrate only on his own momentary whims. Of course, this does not lead to anything good, since it is not possible to fully realize the inherent potential. Psychological immaturity implies that a woman does not want to give birth and bring up precisely because she is afraid of the changes that are taking place. She constantly concentrates on her fears instead of starting to act in full force.
Developed infantilism does not allow taking responsibility for the life of a little man. When we fear taking responsibility, desires tend not to come true. The problem that a woman does not want to give birth is often concluded in the fact that she is afraid of losing her freedom.
Lack of money
The unstable financial situation often forces people to postpone the birth of a child. This is quite true, because the child must not just be born and give birth. It is also imperative to be able to educate, give him a good education. If there are no opportunities, then it is better to reconsider your life, try to correct some moments in it in advance. When women do not want to give birth, there is always something behind it. Just because no one gives up their joy, from the happiness of motherhood. Lack of money is a serious reason. If financial problems cannot be resolved in time, then it may happen that a decision will never be made. After all, do not want to condemn a little person to suffering and need. When there are no sufficient material opportunities, many decide to not have children. This applies to both married couples and single women who have nowhere to get the necessary help and support. Today, many women postpone the birth of a baby. They have a chance to come to conscious parenthood or forget about their desire forever. Admittedly, everyone has the right to choose what is closer to him.
Reluctance to give
When a woman does not have the desire to care and love, she says to herself: "I do not want to give birth." Moreover, the lady may well be successful in other areas: build a successful career, engage in art, science or dance. Unwillingness to give is most often associated with emotional constriction. The presence of certain fears does not allow expressing one's true desires. Inability to correctly express feelings leads to unpleasant consequences. Fear of facing disappointment often makes it difficult to make the right decision. You can think for years about the fact that “I do not want to give birth to children at all,” however, as soon as they are ready to do this, they usually don’t refuse it. A man himself must feel the presence of an internal force in himself, which will lead him to the desired result.
Only in this case it will be possible to talk about the fact that a deliberate step has been completed, which you will not have to regret later. Unwillingness to give, as a rule, is associated with fear of receiving a vivid negative reaction. The more injuries were received in childhood and adolescence, the then it is more difficult to accept the ongoing changes in life.
Career focus
Quite often, in the modern world, a woman chooses career promotion as her first priority, while family values fade into the background. Some find that they never want to give birth to children at all, others deliberately delay the moment of making a responsible decision. Career orientation sometimes takes too much strength and energy, does not allow you to spend years on the education of descendants. It is actually very tiring to break into two parts. It is not always possible to take a break and not solve the arising work problems due to family dinners and conversations.
If the wife does not want to give birth, the husband may fall into despair and even begin to suffer. So families collapse, misunderstanding and emptiness grow. Often, modern girls feel confident only when they are able to earn enough money to satisfy any need. Many people ask what to do if you do not want to give birth? Of course, you do not need to force yourself. It is necessary to revise your beliefs gradually, focusing primarily on your own values. This is the only way to truly take responsibility for your life. If you constantly scold yourself, the situation will not change for the better. After analyzing the individual situation, it will be possible to understand what choice should be made in the future.
Complicated family relationships
If there is no mutual understanding between the spouses, then it becomes very difficult to plan the birth of an heir. It is very important for a woman to feel that she has the opportunity to count on some kind of support from the man. Unsure of a future together with this person, she may discover a reluctance to have a baby. She sometimes has to crush the maternal instinct in herself, say: "I do not want to give birth," instead of starting to listen to her own desires. Complex relationships in the family are often an obstacle to the development of a deep internal conflict, which begins to control the whole situation. Instead of resolving disturbing problems, people shut themselves down and do not want to act.
When there is no trust, mutual respect, it becomes very difficult to maintain inner harmony, to come to an understanding of the essence of things. A person is forced to constantly build a chain of psychological defenses instead of starting to act actively, with the maximum focus on the desired result.
The appearance of a second child
This, in principle, is not every family. If a woman discovers that she does not want to give birth to a second child, she needs to understand whether this is her desire. Very often, various stereotypes and beliefs are imposed on us from the outside. If we stop listening to our own voice, then we invariably get stuck in fears and doubts. Sometimes it becomes scary just to make this fateful decision. The reason is simple: you have to rebuild the whole way of life, change your habits, worldviews. An accomplished mother can hardly think only of herself. For her, the needs and needs of the baby should come to the fore. When a girl thinks: “I do not want to give birth to a second child”, it is quite possible that she is simply not ready for this yet. The presence of problems with the spouse turns away some from this serious step, the other is afraid to remain alone, the third - to lose freedom. Suppose if the eldest son or daughter has already gone to first grade, the mother is unlikely to want to mess around with the baby again, to devote a lot of time to him. When there are more than one children, attention needs to be distributed between them, which is not always possible to do. Someone will still get less, because in the conditions of modern reality, when the degree of employment is simply colossal, it is not always possible to think about significant changes in your life.
Fear of losing freedom
A very common reason that many women often realize in their head. Fear is formed from ignorance of how to distribute personal resources in such a way as not to infringe on oneself, and to be able to give the baby everything necessary. Fear of losing personal freedom is quite common among women of childbearing age. This is not surprising: after all, there arises responsibility for the life of another person, small and helpless. It must be said that the modern rhythm of life often requires maximum dedication and concentration from a person. Sometimes a child simply does not have enough time, because you have to urgently solve many different issues. The fear of losing freedom is sometimes so strong that it blocks any person’s desires, and hinders the understanding of necessary situations. If there are installations inside that the child can become a hindrance, then a decision can be made for years. Unfortunately, not all then decide on such experiments.
Failed pregnancy
If the previous experience of bearing a baby ended tragically, then subsequently there is a fear of a recurrence of the situation. A woman discovers such a thought in herself: they say, I do not want to give birth myself, it would be great to use the services of surrogate motherhood. In fact, this is also a veiled escape from responsibility. Some people recognize this method as very original, but decide on a unit. An unsuccessful pregnancy leaves its mark on later life, forming a persistent unwillingness to reproduce offspring.
If it was not possible to give birth not once, but several times, the girls often despair, begin to believe that no one can help them with anything. Fear simply arises for one's health, further well-being. The very desire to have children is gradually transforming into an obsessive state. Fears begin to control life, sometimes panic attacks arise, turning into a feeling of complete horror and own helplessness. Unfortunately, few decide to seek help. Some continue to carry everything in themselves for years, not seeing the opportunity to rethink the situation and come to a definite decision. Here, personal experience, certain beliefs matter.
Meaningful position
In some, rather rare cases, women really do not want to have children, and this intention is true. The fact is that not every person needs to acquire offspring to feel their own happiness. Some may well be happy, devoting themselves to their favorite business, creativity or realizing their own forces in a career. A meaningful position does not imply certain justifications. It’s just that a person permits himself to do what he likes, doesn’t justify himself to anyone and does not pronounce accusatory speeches. The true decision is always made in the right mind, calmly and measuredly. If this is a true decision, then it does not occur to anyone to make excuses, to endlessly build assumptions and guesses. A meaningful position always involves acceptance of responsibility. In this case, one does not have to blame others for their own failures. It is imperative to understand what you can and should strive for.
Psychologists reviews
When a woman says to herself: “I do not want to give birth to children anymore,” then she is trying to cope with some expressed internal conflict. Most likely, fear of responsibility prevails over her, which is not so easy to assume. After all, when in fact there is no desire to have children, such a question simply does not occur. If the second half constantly imposes on the girl the idea that it is necessary to acquire a large number of offspring, she needs to understand what her soul really wants. You should not think about why you do not want to give birth to children, but begin to actively reflect on your own desires. If, for some reason, aspirations are not satisfied, then some especially suspicious natures tend to become self-contained. Often, conflicts in the family arise on this basis. One can speculate for a long time and hard why you do not want to give birth, but the question will be resolved only after a personal understanding of the problem.
Do not hurry
No need to customize yourself, guided by social stereotypes. If it is considered normal in society to acquire a offspring up to 25-30 years old, this does not mean at all that you need to squeeze your personality into a narrow framework. Take your time, you need to focus on your personality. There is nothing sadder when a person tries to meet the expectations of others and at the same time forgets about his own needs. It’s best to take a moment to understand what you really want. Then you can remain confident that the decision will be correct, meaningful. There is no need to adapt to the majority opinion. You should lead your life in such a way as to be content with yourself.
Work with fears
When numerous phobias fill the heart, it becomes incredibly difficult to make the right decision. Be sure to work with fears. Only in this case it will turn out to remain true to itself and it is really possible to prepare for the appearance of the child. There is no need to constantly adapt to the opinion of society, because people around you may not know your true needs. Work with fears includes an in-depth study of the difficult moments that bring emotional experiences.
Defining personal boundaries
In order to understand whether you want to have a child or not, you need to be able to listen to your desires. There is nothing worse than trying to please the opinion of the majority, while forgetting about their own aspirations. It will be very useful to determine personal boundaries, to understand your own intentions. True intention differs from false intention in that it does not require any sacrifice from a person, does not force him to step over himself and his needs. It is important to understand what you really want. Then everything else will come into your life without extra effort.
Thus, if a woman announces to herself or others that she does not want to give birth, this does not mean that she cannot be a good mother. Just at the moment, her inner state is controlled by fear of accepting changes in her own life. Whatever the reason for what is happening, it is necessary to work with it. Otherwise, this tangle of insoluble problems will not allow you to live in peace and make decisions based on your own convictions. It is necessary to comprehend the existing fears and take responsibility for what is happening. Freed from all doubt, new forces will appear for life at your pleasure. This is a very valuable asset that everyone should wish for.