When he manages to finish all his affairs in time, the person feels happy. This special satisfaction from your life and the realization that you are a good fellow make life more complete. The task of going through the full cycle in all endeavors is embedded in the consciousness of each individual. But some things or relationships for various reasons remain unfinished.
āWell then,ā you say with a shrug. Everything would be fine, but only an unfinished situation becomes the door through which energy runs out of a person. He cannot fully be āhere and nowā, work and enjoy, just live. He loses motivation and desire to develop. Fatigue, apathy, and depression appear. And if he does not know how to close gestalt, then he runs the risk of living his days.
What it is
The question "how to be happy" has been a concern of man since ancient times. There are dozens of answers to it, but not one of them is exhaustive. But for a long time, doctors and psychologists have come to understand that if a person gnaws at something that happened once upon a time, he will not be able to live effectively today. He will be mistaken at work, sleep badly at night, he will not have enough time for his family all the time, because every free minute he again mentally returns. When a person is aware of the problem, he may turn to a psychologist with a question about how to close gestalt. Unfortunately, this is not so simple. First you need to understand the mechanism of this phenomenon.
From theory to practice
Translated from German, this word means "holistic image." That is, it is not so important how the situation ends, but it needs to be lived through to the end. From the point of view of psychologists, every started business should be brought to an end. But in the life of every person, many large and small incompleteness accumulate. I didnāt talk with a friend, I didnāt read the book - even in one day several such gestalt can gather.
There are more serious ones: a breakdown, the death of a loved one, unfulfilled dreams. And every day it all scrolls in memory. A man is trying to find a way out, to understand what has been done wrong. And he does not fully realize that nothing can be changed. It remains only to find out how to close the gestalt, and allow yourself to live on.
What incompleteness looks like
This concept is quite difficult to understand. Therefore, we will try to reveal its essence in the simplest possible language. Let's try to draw an analogy with a computer. What happens if the program is not completed correctly? And if several programs? Most likely, the PC will think for a long time or freeze. And maybe even break.
And what happens to the human psyche? Incomplete gestalt does not allow to develop, interfere with personal growth. A person as if walking in a circle or living in a dream. Gestalt is an unfinished business that tugs, yanks, and calls for return. A person feels the desire to return to that situation and replay it. Since it is not easy to close gestalt, often a person lives his whole life with this burden. And this means that less energy remains on oneself, beloved deeds and family.
Negative or positive
Gestalt pulls us into the past. And it can be good or evil. Neutral situations cannot affect us through the years.
If gestalt is built on negative
The man was insulted, humiliated, he did not give up, did not say what he wanted - in these cases, the strong emotional stress of these situations literally makes him find himself in the exact same circumstances again and again. This is easy to explain. Since you can close gestalt on your own only by living this situation to the end, life gives you such an opportunity. But here's the trouble: without realizing this situation, they will repeat the one in which gestalt originated. A woman marries an alcoholic. After a divorce, she seeks a new relationship and meets a new alcoholic. Moreover, all candidates who do not have such a tendency will be rejected by it. Gestalt is not closed, and most often the reason lies in the relationship with the father.
Positive gestalt
Nothing good, either. It is human nature to experience nostalgia for the past and wish to return to a fairy tale. For example, you remember how great it was to walk around the clubs in college. And it seems to be okay, but while you are turned to the past, you are standing with your back to the future.
Find and neutralize
Indeed, in order to change yourself or your memories or attitude towards them, you need to understand the processes that take place in them. If this is too complicated, then you can contact a practicing psychologist and ask how to close the gestalt. What does this mean and how to understand where to find the very object that you want to close?
Search should be where it hurts. It's like a splinter: as soon as you remove it, the wound heals quickly and easily. You can understand that there are unfinished scenarios in life by a number of signs:
- Certain work, information or actions cause a person to have an attack of anxiety or anxiety.
- An individual cannot finish a business or a project, although there are no obvious reasons for this, but as if something is hindering him.
- A man avoids a new relationship after a painful breakup. Thus, they simply avoid new, possible pain.
- All new relationships go according to one scenario. This suggests that the gestalt is not closed, and the script does not allow moving away from the standards for choosing partners.
- A person understands that he is constantly stepping on the same rake. He becomes a victim of scammers, itās not the first time he has been borrowed and not repaid, he quits his job with a scandal.
All this suggests that in the subconscious mind there are unfinished processes, attachment to people and places.
Prevention is the best treatment
What does "close gestalt" mean? This means completing all unfinished business. But even better is simply to prevent their occurrence. That is, everything needs to be completed on time when this business is relevant. Incomplete processes are a link to people, repeating life scenarios and places. How not to grab such bindings?
- Always complete your thoughts and deeds. It is easier said than done, but otherwise the echoes will remind oneself for a long time.
- Always say whatever you want, do not keep it in yourself. Swallowing a comment out of politeness, holding oneās opinion and restraining feelings is the practice of communication in society. But all this harms your psychological health. If you canāt tell a person directly what you think about him, then act out this situation at home with someone close to you. And here do not restrain yourself.
- Always express your feelings - this is the first rule that you must follow in order to close the gestalt. What are these simple words? This means letting yourself live the situation. Did you feel something? Try to express: shout, sing, draw, beat a pear.
How to complete gestalt
First you need to realize the process itself. What does "gestalt closed" mean? The fact that you stopped spending energy on scrolling through a situation from the past and the corresponding experiences. Now you can live here and now, build and build. To do this, you need to understand your incomplete gestalt. Suppose you noticed that your relationship is developing according to one scenario in which you constantly require attention and care from a partner in a hypertrophied form. Your relationship ends and it repeats. Think about what unfinished process from the past makes you play this scenario? Who has not given you enough love and care? Having understood what situation has not been completed, you can work with it.
Ways of working
Of course, the first and easiest way is to get what you wanted from a particular object. But the situations are different, people move, die and create obstacles, because of which you can not close the gestalt. What are these simple words? By and large, this is a clash of scenarios and interests. But there are several ways to help you cope with the task:
- Modeling. Imagine a topic on how you could complete your gestalt. Live this situation so that its ending suits you. If the ending in a real situation was undesirable, now everything can be changed. Just do not do it all the time. If changes suit you, then mentally you will not want to return to this anymore.
- Migration Since it is not always possible to close gestalt in a relationship that has already ended, do it in the current situation, in the present. But you need to do this consciously and with the consent of the person who will help you. Instead of frustrating your partner, ask him to redeem you in care and attention. Gradually, an unclosed gestalt will come to a logical conclusion. What it is and how it happens, you will understand and feel in the process.
- Expression of feelings and utterance of words as it becomes necessary.
- The cessation of the struggle. This is another important point. If you are looking for a way to close gestalt in a relationship yourself, then ... stop. Stop denying it, accept and accept its existence. Sometimes this is enough. A man ceases to feed him with his emotions. Recognize which process is incomplete, and try to show utter indifference to it.
Unrealized desire
This is the most insidious variety of unfinished gestalt. What is it, we will now consider. If you really wanted something, but couldnāt get it, then a void forms. Subconsciously, you will always strive to fill this void, even if indirectly. For example, my mother wanted to become a doctor, but the birth of her children led her to quit college and not get a profession. She will force her children to study as doctors, although they will be interested in a completely different field of activity.
How to prevent the destructive nature of such a gestalt and complete it? Think about what you yourself wanted when you chose this profession? What feelings did you feel, what did you need and what did you intend to get through becoming a doctor? Having understood this, try to achieve these goals in any way possible.
If you need to end a relationship
Of course, this moment is rather painful. And the hardest thing is to defeat the strongest attachment to gestalt. He completely captures the whole person and holds him in shackles. This usually happens after a breakup. A man cannot but think about the subject of his sighs. He constantly comes to her or to his page, asks friends. How to close gestalt in a relationship? Here the principle of āleaving - leaveā should work.
You canāt leave half or stay a bit. You should cut off all ties, burn all bridges, delete the number and get rid of all things that remind of the past. Sometimes a change of residence and a long vacation helps. Of course, one simply cannot get rid of addiction, but gradually it weakens and will soon completely let go.
How to live after breaking up
Especially often, clients of psychotherapists are women. They usually ask about how to close gestalt in a relationship with a man. And no matter how it is formulated. The meaning of this does not change. They need practical guidance on how to close gestalt. There are several options:
- Sources of good. This is a consciously added hobby to life that gives rise to the kindest feelings in the soul.
- A positive experience of unfinished situations. For example, a woman was cast as a classic gigantic. And every time she is drawn to the next man of this type, she laughs at herself. So the memory becomes more and more insignificant. Soon it will simply merge with the past.
- To want to look at the future, it must please. And it is not at all necessarily something big and significant. The main thing here is not scale, but the volume of joy and pleasure.
Back to life
If a person feels that he is not able to cope with the problem on his own, he needs to see a psychotherapist. Therapy is aimed at awareness and perception of oneself as a person, as an integral image. Through awareness, the client accepts the rejected sides of the personality. These are emotions, character traits and desires. After that, it is important to continue working. It should be aimed at self-acceptance and restoration of personality. The person must be independent, that is, follow his aspirations, and not embody other people's dreams.
Reason for contacting a specialist
The reason for visiting a specialist is constant stressful situations, difficulties in building relationships, poor adaptation to the new environment. If goals and desires are not achieved, that is, insurmountable obstacles are constantly standing in their way, if depression has surged, a depressed state, all this suggests that it is time to do serious work on yourself.