To carry the proud title of mother, it is not enough just to give life to a child. You need to become a kid a true friend, associate, adviser, so that you can confidently say that you are a good mother. In order to achieve this goal, you need to constantly work on yourself, because this task is not an easy one.
Remember your childhood
In order to earn the title of “Good Mom,” you just need to remember your own childhood. Surely, as a child, you loved, respected and appreciated your parents. Nevertheless, in no family, even the strongest and most friendly, does not do without offenses and misunderstandings.
A smart mother should first note for herself the educational methods of her parents, which she considers successful and effective. Skillful combination of severity and affection, encouragement and punishment, freedom and prohibitions. But do not go too far. As a child, you probably felt injustice at some points. It is foolish to think that over time everything will be forgotten, because it is childhood memories that are considered the most vivid and strong. Learn from your parents' mistakes and do not repeat them in raising your own children.
Take time for your child
The time has long passed when the role of women in society was limited to maintaining the home and raising children. You can argue for a long time about whether this is good or bad, but one thing is obvious: in the modern fast pace of life, women are less and less devoted to talking with babies.
A good mother should (no, she simply must) devote to the child as much time as possible, teach him something new, live with him happy moments in common, talk with him about everything in the world. And the point here is not only that the baby needs to feel the warmth and attention of the parents. Think about yourself too. Every day, precious time irrevocably leaves, and the child grows up. Soon he will have his friends, his affairs, his secrets, and he will not be at all up to you. A smart mother can maintain a warm and friendly relationship with her children throughout her life.
Have family evenings more often
It is very important for a child to feel in a warm family circle. It would be ideal to spend every evening together, eating a tasty and warm dinner, watching your favorite comedies, reading books aloud, and so on. Unfortunately, not all families have this opportunity, but a good mother will always find a way out.
Every evening, spend at least half an hour on joint activities with your child. Engage him in the preparation of dinner, do homework together, mold something from plasticine or draw a postcard. But for general family gatherings, you can set aside a separate day. Let it be, for example, every Sunday or the first day of every month. May mom and dad, and grandparents be at home tonight. Have fun tea parties and family concerts.
Be equal with your child
The best mom is the one who can talk with her child on equal terms. This does not mean that you need to lisp with the baby and fall into childhood. It is important to let the child feel that you respect him and reckon with him.
Leave the tone of command (unless, of course, we are talking about excessive vagaries and pranks). Imagine that you are not talking with your child, but, for example, with a friend. Talk to the baby in such a tone as if he is already an adult, try to explain everything to him and answer questions.
An important role is played by eye contact. Do not look down on the child. Yes, you have a significant difference in age and height, but you need to be able to smooth it. For example, starting a serious conversation, sit down so as to be on par with the baby. So that you can look into each other's faces, reading his smallest intonations. This will help you better understand each other.
Let nothing distract you
Modern parents do not have enough free time to be with their child. Nevertheless, a loving mother should allocate at least one day or at least several hours a week to spend them alone with her baby. It can be joint creative studies, walks or cultural events.
But it often happens that mothers are distracted by phone calls, correspondence on the Internet, or chatting with friends. You may not notice, but the child is very upset and offends. Nothing will happen if you turn off your mobile phone for a couple of hours or lie to a friend you met on the street, which is in a hurry. But the child will certainly appreciate your presence and warmth and will know that you are the best mother in the world.
Don't scream and don't swear
Children are very naughty and disobedient. Sometimes they can commit a serious offense without realizing it. Most parents raise a cry in response to the child’s misconduct. In such a situation, the baby is simply lost, not understanding where his loving mother has gone. Sometimes parents so cease to control themselves that children simply begin to fear them.
It is impossible to achieve mutual understanding and good behavior by screaming. Think about whether it is worth making a noise when a child breaks a vase, because you will not get angry with yourself in a similar situation. Do I need to swear when the child does not obey, because the explanations and arguments said in a strict but calm tone will sound much more convincing. In addition, the not always bad behavior of the baby can be explained by its bad character. Perhaps you should show it to a child psychologist.
Each time you decide to raise your voice for a child, remember that his behavior is solely the result of your upbringing.
Praise and encourage your child
Each person should have an incentive for development, success and the right actions. For a child, such an incentive is the praise of parents. This is wrong if you notice every child’s fault or mistake, and his achievements go unnoticed.
Do not skimp on affectionate words and praise for your child if he has done something good or achieved some success. Thus, the child forms a personality, as well as an idea of the right actions. Also do not forget to periodically reward the child for any significant achievements. So, commemorate a successfully written test or victory in the competition with some nice gift or a family trip to the cafe.
Learn to speak and listen
Up to a certain age, parents do not perceive their children as serious, full-fledged personalities, preferring not to start thorough conversations with them and not paying special attention to babble. But in vain. It is at such a young age, when the baby’s consciousness is just forming, that he really needs a warm parting word that his dear good mother will tell him.
But speaking should not exclude listening. Children are very emotional and receptive to everything. They so want to share their impressions and feelings with the closest people! Even if for you these things seem frivolous, listen carefully to your child, because for him it is extremely important.
When wondering how to become a good mother, you first need to imagine yourself in the place of a child. How does he live, what is he fond of, what he sees and hears around him, how his parents relate to him? Only in this way can one fully realize one’s mistakes and take the right path of raising a child. Remember that it is in childhood that the personality and perception of the world is formed. The future of your child depends on you.