“Loneliness on the Web” - this is the name of the most famous Janusz Wisniewski’s best-selling novel about virtual relationships. Almost one in two, if not the first, is looking for one-time acquaintances, soulmate, and love on the Internet today. Who is attracted by virtuality for building relationships, how to conduct a conversation, and can a virtual romance become real? Let's talk today on a burning topic.
Love on the Web - what is it?
Information and technological progress brought not only a huge number of conveniences and advantages, but also created new difficulties. One of them is virtual relationships at a distance. For many, regular correspondence with the opposite sex is nothing more than just another fun, which will go away on its own. For others, in particular girls, this is a chance to meet the same one. However, most often, such a relationship ends in a broken heart and low self-esteem.
Virtual relationships usually take place in correspondence: people exchange messages on social networks, dating sites or chat rooms. Particularly courageous potential lovers can chat on Skype.
Often, virtual communication replaces the real. A person is gradually drawn into communication through a monitor. Therefore, the natural need to talk with someone disappears on its own.
Virtual love and relationships: what's the difference?
Each of us needs love, we have an inborn need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need is manifested in recognition, approval, respect and full acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, full and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he searches for it on the Internet.
Virtual love and virtual relationships are almost identical concepts. Love on the Web is a far-fetched fact, which is based on the imagination, imagination and representation of the partner. Moreover, these ideas may absolutely not correspond to the real person. Therefore, people are often upset when they meet with a virtual partner in life. The contrived does not coincide with reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, “phew, she’s not as beautiful as in the picture” or “he turned out to be so unpretentious”.
Virtual relations are the communication of people in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not do anything in relation to each other. However, they conditionally consider themselves a couple. They reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes of “good morning” and “good night”.
Virtual love is a kind of mind game. Playing in love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him in real life. Moreover, he can talk about himself for days. Not the fact that what is said will be true.
Very rarely, virtual lovers meet in reality.
And virtual relationships, and virtual love, how quickly begin, so quickly and end. Especially after a real meeting.
What are virtual relationships on the Internet?
Love on the Internet brings a variety of emotions. Consider the main types of relationships on the Web, which are easily determined by the fact of correspondence:
- Random. Two people accidentally met on the Web: I liked the photos on the avatar, for example. Moreover, random communication can be retrained smoothly into "virtual love." Communication is free, without a specific goal, but soon the person begins to realize that he has found his own person. For example, life goals, positions, feelings converged. Sometimes a chance meeting on the Web ends not only with great love in reality, but also with marriage.
- Epistolary. The epistolary genre cannot be said to be out of date. He simply changed his form a little: the letter turned into messages on the Internet. The epistolary genre used to be called a novel in letters. Today, virtually nothing has changed. Usually married men resort to epistolary relationships, women less often. The reason is a boring life, in particular a family life. Such a “verbal” game usually proceeds through an exchange of pleasantries, flirting and ends. However, in rare cases, an epistolary romance can weave suffering, passion, and even an oath of eternal love. And in one and in the second cases, epistolary love ends after realizing the meaninglessness of relationships on the Internet. Moreover, to establish a relationship in reality is not necessary.
- Soul relations arise due to the search for a partner with whom you can talk heart to heart and talk. Chats, forums - an ideal platform for these purposes. This form of love resembles communication on a train. Two strangers are talking about painful, and upon leaving the car they will never see each other again. So with the mental form of relations. Meeting in real life usually doesn’t reach the point.
- Intimate relationships are tied up on the Internet because of a person’s sexual need. Moreover, the goal is to find a partner for self-satisfaction. Recently, this phenomenon has become common. People thus emotionally dilute their monotonous life without resorting to physical adultery.
- Regular relationships on the Internet are dictated by one goal: to find a soul mate. When during the correspondence people feel that they are approaching each other, then in reality the relationship continues. And often such relationships end with a wedding and a happy family life.
Virtual Relationships: Psychology
Building a relationship between a woman and a man implies certain principles. Virtual relationships are based on the following principles:
- communication features are formed on experience, temperament, upbringing and social environment;
- in psychology, the basis of communication between the opposite sex is equality, which gives the right to conduct dialogue;
- individuality of each person.
Why do people meet online? This phenomenon is rather a consequence of our modern life. Now many young people are passionate about building a career and making money. They work a lot. Therefore, there is practically no time for relaxation and dating at the club, at parties, exhibitions or restaurants. Other people often complex because of their far-fetched flaws, so they are afraid in real life to meet someone. They feel much bolder in their comfort zone: at home in front of the monitor.
On the Internet, anyone can become a kind of superhero, a successful businessman, a top-notch beauty or model. These are the masks that you can try on, and for this you will not be anything. In fact, such people in life turn out to be cowardly, uncommunicative and notorious.
What is the danger?
Building love on the Internet can have consequences. First of all, addiction. People are so passionate about the fact of correspondence that they are completely immersed in the virtual world. Moreover, without embarrassment, a person appears to be anyone, tells anything, without bearing responsibility for the words.
The problem of communication on the Web is due to the fact that people here find friends and love, hiding from loneliness in real life. However, problems in life are not solved in this way, but rather are exacerbated. It is more difficult for a person dependent on communication on the Internet to contact people in the future. Gradually, this habit becomes dull. It is quite difficult to get out of this web on your own. Many resort to the help of a psychologist.
The main problems of communication on the Internet:
- Self-identification. A person chooses a certain role for himself, putting on a comfortable mask. In this case, a gradually contrived role becomes a habit. Man loses his personality.
- Dependence. Problems, complexes, failures - all these components lead a person to online communication. Moreover, in real life they are only exacerbated, and the desire to be “online” is increasing. In other words, a person leaves, hides from his real problems. You can compare this phenomenon with a debtor who is hiding from creditors because of debts.
- The habit of cheating. Yes, virtuality admits a lie, embellishment of his biography.
Gradually, a lie becomes a habit and "migrates" into real life.
Why do men like virtual love?
The answer is more than concrete: lack of communication in life. Why does a man need a virtual relationship? Many men say they hone their practice of flirting. Moreover, this method of consolidating skills is chosen mainly by married men.
At the psychological level, men do not regard flirting in correspondence as treason. For them, this is nothing more than entertainment that can be compared with their favorite computer game "Tanchiki".
According to statistics, about 26% of all men over the age of 30 choose a virtual relationship. Many of them practice virtual sex and completely refuse to start a relationship in reality.
Why do men love virtual relationships? Because there is no obligation. Taking responsibility is difficult. Men “save” themselves from the routine of family life. And on the Internet, they put on masks in turn: today - an insidious seducer, tomorrow - a snake-tempter. However, unfortunately, not a single mask coexists in reality with such a “mask-donning” man.
Psychologists claim that men like virtual communication because of mystery. They like to think up the image of the girl, fill her with personal expectations and fantasies. A kind of mentally man makes himself from a woman by correspondence his ideal. It is such a woman that he lacks in real life.
However, most often, such a relationship does not end there. It is difficult for a man to match his chosen “mask” in reality. And in life, to meet a girl, too, often lacks courage.
World Wide Web Relationships
Of course, not everything is as bad as it might seem. There are significant advantages to virtual love:
- the ability to communicate, without leaving home, in comfortable conditions;
- You can carefully consider the answer to a difficult question;
- an opportunity to demonstrate oneself from the best side;
- conflict can be avoided;
- no need to dress up and think over an image for trifles;
- You can meet different interesting people;
- You can share your problems.
Of course, everyone can expand this list.
Cons of virtual love
Not everything is so rosy. There are significant disadvantages that can easily outshine the pros. So, the cons of building love on the Internet:
- fear of meeting and not disappointing in real life after active correspondence;
- addiction appears;
- the difficulty to correspond to the far-fetched image that was shown to the interlocutor in correspondence;
- attachment to a person, and when the virtual relationship is over, there is spiritual discomfort and suffering.
The main disadvantage of virtual love is the loss of the skill of “live” real communication.
Network Communication Rules
Virtual relationships involve interesting conversations. Nowhere without it. So, in order to establish contact, you must follow these rules:
- Do not respond to banal emoticon messages or "Hello." Respond to detailed full messages.
- Finding a middle ground will help you answer questions correctly. For example, do not answer too briefly or too long. You can answer the question, but do not start “from the fifth kilometer” and tell the details of your biography. Otherwise, the interlocutor will become bored with you.
- Obsession repels a woman. Therefore, men, if a woman did not answer the first two messages from you, it means that she does not want to communicate with you.
- If you really liked the interlocutor, then you should not write about your feelings in the first message. This is scary. On intimate topics, talking with an unfamiliar interlocutor is not worth it if he has not initiated a discussion of this topic.
- Women love ears. Correctly submitted compliments have not harmed anyone. At the same time, a compliment must be given unobtrusively, carefully, without flattery.
The main rule in virtual communication is to be sincere. As you are!
Tips for guys
Banal messages like "Hello! How are you? What are you doing?" are in the past. It has become "hackneyed." And in general: why should a girl respond to an unfamiliar guy, how is she doing and what is she doing?
The guy should interest the girl from the first sentence. So, some tips from psychologists:
- Be playful, optimistic, and humorous.
- Do not bombard the girl with messages.
- Show interest in her field of activity, hobby. She should feel that you are interested in her.
- Be the initiator of communication.
- Maintain interesting conversation topics.
- Communicate culturally and not for long so that she sees respect on your part.
The main thing is respect. You can be culturally arrogant. The key word is "cultural."
Do I need to switch from virtual to real?
It all depends on your moral readiness and purpose of communication. Sometimes it’s better not to go from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why do we need to resist? If your desires do not materialize, then let them become a lesson. As they say, it’s better to do something and regret it than not to do it and regret it too.
You should not have high hopes for a meeting in reality. Often people just become good friends. Often the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor should not meet your expectations, just as you should not.
Virtual relationships are all experience: good or not, it depends on the situation. However, this experience is invaluable. It is better to meet a person in life, to communicate. In this case, you can consider it. What if, indeed, this person is the one you have been looking for for so long ?!